Coz I have nothing else better to do, except sleep, which I couldn't. So I'm here. There. Whatever.

1. Full name. elizabeth hazel wong
2. Name backwards. gnow lezah htebazile
3. Name after anyone? my father's godfather's wife, my god-grandmother, who just passed away early this month
4. Name meaning? belongs to god
5. Nickname/s: betty, betsy, bets
6. Screen name: starbytes
7. Date of birth. 14th Oct 1982, i love presents. :D
8. Place of birth. right here on earth
9. Nationality. earthling
10. Current location. earth :P
11. Star sign. librans rule!
12. Religion. i don't really believe in religion.
13. Height. um...5'3"?
14. Weight. lol! whatever gave you the idea that i would tell?
15. Shoe size. 5
16. Hair colour. brown and white. seriously
17. Eye colour. brown
18. What do you look like? 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 nose, 1 mouth...pretty standard
19. Inny or outy? inny
20. Righty, lefty or both? righty, but am an ambidextrous-wannabe
21. Gay, straight, bi, or? well, i'm not gay or bi, but i'm not that straight either...
23. Trust most? myself
24. Best friend. you know who you are
25. Best friend, of opp sex. you know who you are
26. Best buds. you know who you are
27. Boy/girl friend. which one?
28. Crush. oh, they all do.
29. Parents. father and mother
30. Worst enemy. um...magneto?
31. Favourite online guy. i have no favourite
32. Favourite online girl. see above
33. Funniest friend. lone
34. Craziest friend. i'm the craziest among my friends, i think
35. Advice friend. margaret
36. Loudest friend. sewei
37. Person you cry with. my 3 best friends who've been with me for a looooong time
38. Sisters. 0
39. Brothers. 1
40. Pets. 3 1/2yo crazy dachshund mix who answers to baby, come here girl, *clap* and just about anything
41. Disease. i have a serious allergy to stupid people, prolonged exposure will result in explosion
42. Pager. the only pages i answer to are from books.
43. Personal phone line. seriously?
44. Cell phone. you're so funny
45.Lava lamp. nope
46. Pool or hot tub. depends on my mood
47. Car. Jaguar
48. Personality. find out for yourself
49. Driving. what about it?
50. Car. I also have a Porche
51. Room. without a view
52. What's missing. the view?
53. School. of dolphins?
54. Bed. comfy
55. Relationship with my parents. the best
56. Believe in yourself. of course
57. Do you believe in love at the first sight. nope, you need to walk by me again
58. Consider yourself a good listener? to music, yes
59. Get along with your parents. you don't listen much, do you?
60. Save email conversations. some
61. Pray. yeap
62. Believe in reincarnation. definitely. i was like, cleopatra in my last life :P
63. Like to make fun of people. only the duckie.
64. Like to talk on the phone. only with the duckie and the loonie
65. Like to drive. not much
66. Eat the stems of broccoli. why not?
67. Eat chicken fingers with fork. i eat it with chili sauce, i don't really like the taste of fork.
68. Dream in colour. probably
69. Get motion sickness. depends who's driving
70. Type with your fingers on home row. huh?
71. Sleep with a stuffed animal. just stuffed pillows
72. Right next to you. shelf
73. On the walls of your room. paint
74. Mouse pad? don't use one
75. Your dream car. got them already, a Jag and a Porche. ;P
76. Your dream date. whatever he planned for me
77. Dream honey spot. wherever he wants to bring me
78. Dream husband. whoever can make me happy
79. Bedtime. when i sleep
80. Under your bed. dust
81. Single most important question. why not?
82. Bad time of the day. seldom have them
83. Worst fears. i'm fearless
84. The weather like. the usual, polluted air
85. Time. 4.04am
86. Best trick. can't think of any now
88. The weirdest food you like. too many, i'm adventurous with food
89. Theme song. simply the best
90. The hardest thing about growing up. moving out from my castle in the air.
91. Funniest experience. i'll get back to you
92. Scariest moment. see above
93. The silliest thing you said. see above
94. Funniest or desperate thing to get attention of someone from the opp sex. crazy stuff, plenty. some funny, few desperate. :P
95. Scariest thing that happened when with my friends. like what?
96. Worst feeling in the world. loneliness
97. Best feeling. happiness... god, you're dumb
98. 5 people to tag. whoever's got time to waste

People say that when you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I had forgotten that. I haven't been planning well at all, and I'm not happy with my progress right now. I seem to be going through a cycle at work...

I'd get a few great months, then hit a dry period, and lose my momentum and get stuck for a while. Then I'll start adapting, and getting new ideas, and then I'd have another few more great months, then the dry period again, the cycle continues.

It's getting better now though, I guess I've learned, and I'm bouncing back more quickly than before now. My dry periods used to last for 2-3 months, which is *really* bad, but now it's just for a couple of weeks and then I have to start digging myself out of my hole. I guess I'm starting to not take things too personally anymore, so guess what, I *am* improving. Which is really good. BUT, I don't want anymore dry periods, no matter if it's only for a few days even. I don't want this cycle to continue, I don't want to lose my momentum. I want to keep on going, keep on driving myself, getting ideas everyday, working well everyday, getting up in the morning with a game plan everyday and knowing what I need to do.

I need to plan. Not just on a day to day basis, but on a week to week, and month to month, and even year to year. I need to know what's my next move, and if plan A doesn't work, what's plan B.

See, sparks are flying in my head now. Lightbulbs are lighting up on top of my head. Blek. Hope it continues.

I'm sleepy and tired but still kinda hyper. No idea why, but am almost about to shut down. Brain is working non-stop. Thinking many things. Body not so cooperative. Getting less cooperative.

Blog in short sentences. Can't handle more. Sleepy. G'nite. Yawn. Zzz.............

Because yesterday's blog was quite intense and on such a scary topic, let's lighten up today with a really sweet image. :D I found this great site, Blogadorn.com where they host images for you to put on your blogs for free. They have thousands of really great images, the only problem is that it might take very long to load. Since they're hosting all the images, everyone is taking up their bandwidth, so the loading process is affected too. Let's hope they solve the problem. :D In the meantime, enjoy the artwork. I really love the colors and the whole....tranquility of it. I wish I could produce something as beautiful as this.

Visit the artist's Website!

I just finished the scariest book ever, The Wave by Todd Strasser. Don't misunderstand, it's not a horror story or anything like that. It's scary because it's a true story, and it's scary because it could happen anywhere, anytime.

Click the image to see amazon reviews.

~~//~~

Perhaps the blurb would tell you more:

The Wave is based on an incident that took place in a high-school history class in Palo Alto, California, in 1969.

Ben Ross and his history class are about to learn a lesson they will never forget.

As they study World War II, Ben Ross' students can't seem to understand how the German people could have followed Hitler and the Nazis. So Mr. Ross creates an experimental movement called The Wave. What begins in a single classroom quickly gathers momentum. Before the end of the week, The Wave's motto, "Strength Through Discipline, Strength Through Community, Strength Through Action," governs the entire school. Only two students, Laurie Saunders and David Collins, recognize The Wave for what it is and set out to stop it before it's too late. But is history destined to repeat itself?

There's also a foreword by Harriet Harvey Coffin that I really want to include because it's a really scary lesson that I don't want to ever experience, but that I will always keep in mind:

The Wave is based on a true incident that occurred in a high school history class in Palo Alto, California, in 1969. For three years afterward, according to the teacher, Ron Jones, no one talked about it. "It was," he said, "one of the most frightening events I have ever experienced in the classroom."

The Wave disrupted an entire school. The novel dramatizes the incident, showing how the powerful forces of group pressure that have pervaded many historic movements and cults can persuade people to join such movements and give up their individual rights in the process - sometimes causing great harm to others. The full impact on the students of what they lived through and learned is realistically portrayed in the book that follows.

~~//~~

It was an extremely interesting read, other than being scary, of coz. About the psychology of the human species, how a single person can influence a huge group, how a minority can be more powerful than the majority, most importantly, how we can turn ourselves into robots. It's ironic that with all the technology now in this world, we have all the sci-fi flicks of robots becoming human-like and taking over us, when in fact, the only dangerous thing in this world, is ourselves. We humans are the only beings on this planet capable of destroying it. Nothing else.

Another interesting point, in the book, they mentioned how wonderful it was to be part of The Wave, to be part of a group and equal with everybody else, as opposed to being separated into cliques, which a lot of us are definitely familiar with. I mean, which of us weren't called either geeks, or nerds, or jocks, or goths...etc. (Obviously here in M'sia our terms are different, but the cliques are the same.) And there is always a hierarchy, the popular crowd, then the not so popular...etc. Which one of us has never been bullied? I'm willing to bet none, unless you're part of the popular crowd, and even then, I'm pretty sure you've been bullied at least *once* in your life. It doesn't feel good, does it? But I bet you've bullied someone before too, didn't you? Because your friends were doing it? Or maybe you wanted to look cool in front of them?

So would you jump on a chance to be equal to everyone? And being part of a group, so that no one will bully you, everyone likes you and no one will go against you because you're all in the same team. You'd love to be part of The Wave, I'm sure.

But you know what? For all that none of us like being part of an hierarchy, esp. if we're somewhere at the bottom of it, I believe in it. Trust me, there's no such thing as 'equality'. True equality does not exist. There will always be an alpha male in any group. The dynamics will change with each different group, but there is always a hierarchy. And I'm all for it because I totally believe in individuality, and the survival of the fittest. Ask any animal on the planet, it's all about the survival of the fittest. In our case, being fit doesn't just mean being physically fit, but being mentally and emotionally fit as well.

We can't be robots, it doesn't work. We're not meant to be robots, we're not meant to be programmed. We are human beings, supposedly one step above all other animals in the evolution process, being extra gifted than any other animal with brains that can revolutionize the world. We should use our gifts. Think for ourselves, analyse the things we study and experience, decide for ourselves, exercise good judgement.

Not follow blindly any doctrine that a leader has specified us to follow. (This is where I get just a *little* controversial.) Like *some* Christian churches. I'm not anti-Christianity, mind you. I love stories from the bible, and I do pray to Jesus sometimes too, although I'm not a Christian. I'm just anti-dogmatism. And I do know some really great Christians. It's the few of dogmatic Christians that give the rest of the Christians a bad name. And guess what, it is happening, there have been cults formed in the name of Christianity.

And seriously, any cult is not much different from the cult that Hitler started, albeit on smaller scales of coz, and definitely not as horrifying. But the potential is there, and there's nothing stopping them from getting out of control. Dogmatism is the worst thing that anyone can do. How can anyone follow blindly without questioning themselves, their actions and their consequences?

I believe I have a strong personality, and I will never follow anyone blindly, but although none of us think that we will do anything like this, we cannot honestly know if we will until it happens. I hope it never does happen. It's too scary. It's definitely given me so much food for thought that I've written the longest blog in my history of blogging. And the longest book review in my history of reviewing books. And trust me, I could go on, but I won't. It will never end, coz there's just too much to think about. Read it for yourselves.

I saw this picture on CuteOverload and I loved it so much I just had to post it here. Have you seen anything so cute? Let me hear a unanimous "Awwwww...." :D


They have loads of other really cute pictures of puppies, kitties, hamsters...almost everything cute. Go check them out, they didn't win a Webby award for nothing. :D

And to top it all off, there wasn't even that many people at the exhibition!

I think I'm PMS-ing very very badly right now, and I'm not even having my period. Nope, it's due to lack of sleep. I'm very easily irritated today coz the last three days I haven't sleep much, *and* the biggest reason of all: MY FEET HURT!

Arghhhh! I've been wearing my mum's heels for the past few weeks coz mine wore out, and I didn't feel like shopping, as usual. So I kept putting off shopping for new shoes til thursday. My mum's heels are higher than mine, and they hurt, but other than the occasionally walking, I'm sitting most of the time so it doesn't bother me so much.

But the last few days at the KL Convention Center really hurt my feet bad. I had to stand or walk around for 3 hours straight, and before that I had to walk from the office to KLCC, and after that back again. By the time it was time to go home, my feet were sore and swollen and covered in bandages. Seriously!

I have bunions but they're not really serious, I'm just not supposed to wear closed-toed shoes, but Friday I wore my mum's high heels and my feet and calves hurt so bad, so I thought I'd try wearing closed-toed flats. I've worn them before for a short period and it wasn't that bad, but Saturday I had to cover both my feet in bandages, and I could feel the pain in the *bones* of my feet.

You can imagine, by the time Sunday came around, I was almost about to cry. I wore my mum's heels, they hurt. Then I wore flats, and they still hurt. I had no idea if I had any other appropriate shoe to wear. So I wore my casual heels, and wore long pants to cover them a little. My feet were already sore, so they still hurt, but at least it's not as bad as if I wore my mum's heels or the flats again.

I am *traumatized* from this experience, and I swear from now on, no matter how much I hate shopping, I will make buying the right shoes my first priority! Even if my client wants to see me and give me a million dollars!

.....Ok, if it's a million dollars, I'll buy the shoes after I get the money. :P LOL! But otherwise, my feet comes first!

I'm getting a foot massage as soon as next weekend's seminar is over.

I don't have much time to blog, I'm on my way to work. But I've just received very upsetting news about my god-grandmother. I got an email this morning from my god-grandfather saying that she passed away early this August. I was named after her, and the last time I ever saw her I was only 4 or 5 years old.

I was supposed to go visit them in the USA in July, but put it off because of work. If I had known it would be her last summer I would have gone, regardless of work or not. But this only goes to show, we can't take our loved ones for granted. And we really never know when our time is going to come.

I feel so devastated and so guilty for not making more of an effort to go see them before she passed on. Imagine, the last time I saw her I was only a baby! And now I will never see her again. I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling now. Guilt, regret, anger at myself, sadness...I don't know....

I hope she knows that I'm thinking of her, and I hope she knows how sorry I am that I never got to see her again before she passed on. I hope my grandpa isn't taking it too hard, and I hope he holds on until I see him again. I'm going to really try to see him as soon as I can.

I love you, grandma.

I just realized that it's August now, and I've only read 17 books this year! OMG! And I didn't even read a single book in June and July! What is wrong with me?

I think I'm having a reader's block. I mean, I use to devour books like mad! I read 130 books in 2004, and had to make a resolution to read only 50 books last year, but I read 52. :P Heheh!

But it's August now, and I've only read 17 books?! And nothing at all in June and July? Oh my gosh...it's not for lack of trying. I'm actually in the middle of a few books now:
1. The Dark Tower Book 1 - Stephen King
2. Bronte's Story - Bronte Cullis and Steve Bibb
3. Unnatural Acts - Lucy Taylor

I'm halfway through all of them, but not a single one of them calls to me to finish them quick. It's not that they're boring either...they're all kind of interesting, but I don't get that feeling anymore, of being on the edge of my seat, wondering what's going to happen next, and staying up til six in the morning to finish the book. Is it me? Or have I just been choosing the wrong books for this phase in my life?

I really feel like digging through my pile of books this minute and finding a book that I can devour tonight itself, but....*sigh* I have to work tomorrow. In fact, I have a looooooong weekend ahead of me.

The KLCC exhibition is this weekend, and I'm on duty. So there goes the weekend! And I'm working next weekend too. So there goes that weekend too! *double sigh*

Ok, it's actually not that bad, I love my job, but it has its ups and downs. I'm just trying to keep riding the highs, and taking the lows as they come(Yes, it's the Michelle Branch & Santana song). And it's really tiring having to work week after week after week, including weekends, and sometimes late into the night. The rewards are great, but still, it's tiring!

But then again, it's my own choice. I work hard because I want to. I could slack off and nobody would say a word, except that if I do slack off, I don't get the rewards. And I want them! Badly, badly, badly.

I really do miss my slack off days though, when I was in college, and had all my time at my disposal. I use to sneakily read my books in the lecture halls and pretend I was reading the textbooks... The only time I ever did my assignments or study for my exams was at the last minute. And I did pretty well too, mind you. :P And I had more time to maintain my website too. I had a new design for it every 3 months! The only complaint I had then was that I didn't have enough to do. Now I don't have enough time to do the things I really want to do. :(

I'm working hard, and saving up, and investing so that I can become a multi-millionaire. Then I *will* be able to do whatever I want to do. :D

Alright then...*sigh* I'll go to work tomorrow with this thought in my mind. :)

I've been reading through my blogs...and I realize, what a change! In my 'voice', I mean. I used to write with a cynical tone, with more than a little sarcasm, but now I'm cheerful, almost bubbly! Ugh...

Ok, actually I like being cheerful a lot more than being depressed and cynical, but bubbly? Ugh! But then again, that's what most people describe me as...bubbly. But it's not much fun writing a blog when you're all cheerful and bubbly, coz happy people are boring. It's only when you have a lot to complain about, or gossip about, or poke fun at, that makes your blogs interesting.

Well, I could always say something about world peace... Ya right! LOL! I crack myself up. Or I could write about controversial topics. Whoa! This is something I'm *really* good at. Like abortions, life after death, evolution and the church...etc. But those would *really* be loooonnngg posts, and I'm not sure if I can be bothered. I've lost my voice for a while, literally and figuratively. Literally coz I'm sick. Figuratively, coz I can't figure out what I want to say.

I'm more of a 'reflector', than a 're-capper'. I like to reflect on things, you know, like how I felt and my opinion on what happened...etc, rather than giving re-caps on things that happen. For example, at 9am this morning, I brushed my teeth, then I put on my make up, packed my bags, and went to work. I just don't do that. The most I would do is: I went to work, and this happened, and this is how I feel about it.

This is bad for my image, talking about my voice and stuff. I'm cool. Blek!

Aww....who cares! I'll write what I want, and you can read it, or you won't. Simple. Anyway, nobody's reading my blog right now, so it's purely for my satisfaction.

I need to go! Work, responsibilities, and boss are calling! Ta!

I got sick again! Dammit!

I got well last week, right before PD, but I guess I was really pushing it at PD, and now I'm sick again. I didn't really worked as hard the last few days as I could've. I should've taken better care of myself... being out in the sun for so long, not drinking enough water, eating so much junk food, staying awake for more than 24 hours, sleeping in the cold, dry air-conditioned room...etc. It was definitely my bad. But it was sooooooooo fun! :D

It's not worth being sick though, all I needed to do was drink more water and not eat so much junk. :P I really wasted a lot of productive days at work, and I hate not being able to sing when I'm sick. And obviously, it's really no fun being sick...I can't breathe easily, I'm constantly hacking up phlegm, not sleeping comfortably... Sighz...serves me right.

But it was sooooooooo fun! We played games well into the night, Taboo, Charades, Mafia...etc. And I flew a kite for the first time! OMG, I never knew flying a kite could be so fun. LOL! (Keep all rude comments about flying kites to yourselves, people. ;P It's all innocent childish kite flying fun here.) My kite was the highest, thanks to one of my colleagues, Deric. (LOL! It's really hard to describe the fun I had flying kites without thinking of all the 'alternative' connotations of kite-flying.)

But moving on......

PD was fun, and we went home later in the evening, all of us exhausted. And I woke up with a bad sore throat the next day. :( It got better, but the flu started, then the headache... *groan* Let's not talk about it anymore. I feel much better now although I still feel like I have a stuffed head. My voice is coming out really nasal, and the pressure in my ears is uncomfortable, but other than that, I'll probably be fine in another couple of days.

So I'm sleepy now... Will update more later. Good night folks! Muuuaaahhhhh!

Sighz...so much for being motivated today. I went to work, went out for lunch, and broke out into a cold sweat. I wasn't feeling too good after that, but I guess it's part of the recovery. I ventured out too soon when I should've been at home resting. But I just really want to start work fast!

So anyway, Lone sent me home, and I though I could rest peacefully, but then my monthly cycle started. Sighz...and I had tummy cramps and was too uncomfortable to sleep well. But I'm really happy it started today, coz I thought it was coming this Sunday, when we're all going to PD. It's definitely better today. I'm glad. :P

So I spent today resting at home again, wondering if I can catch up on all the work I'm supposed to get done. But I know it'll be fine, I just really feel antsy sitting at home doing nothing all day except watch tv and playing sudoku. All the activities that you can do comfortably with your feet curled up on the sofa. :D Not that I was all that comfortable with the stomach cramps. Grrr....*PMS*

I need to get back to work! But I'm staying home tomorrow. I can't afford to get sick again just coz I'm stubborn. Sighz...

I forgot to mention yesterday that I was sick, that's why I had so much time on my hands to explore the web and find my blogs again. :P I'm feeling good today though, and I'll be going to the office in a while, but I just wanted to make it a habit to blog whenever I have the slightest amount of time. You know, instead of playing sudoku all the time...LOL!

Anyway, there's a couple of things I need to catch up on when I get to the office, coz I missed the last couple of days. But it's never too hard or too demanding of my time, this job of mine. :D I love my job.

Btw, my division is going on a trip to PD this Sunday and staying a night. I love trips with my division, everyone is so fun and always happy, it really doesn't matter where we go, it's the company that counts. And the last trip we had was to Genting Highlands, right after I came back from China, and that was a blast too! Can't wait!

No wonder I got well in record time! I don't want to miss the trip! LOL!

Yup! It's official! I'm a terrible blogger. Well, actually no...I'm really good at blogging somewhere else, but those entries are private! :P But it's probably because of the other blog, I've said everything I want to say, so there's really nothing much left for here.

But not really either, coz it's completely different things I'm talking about on that blog, not everyday things, more like comtemplative stuff that most people wouldn't share or understand here. Blek...:P

Ok, but enough of that.

What I really want to share, is that I'm very proud of myself, although a little frustrated at always being sick. I'm proud becoz I've been working hard and doing well, achieving many things, and earning loads and loads of money. Can you see the money signs in my eyes? $$$ LOL! I'm just joking. I wish I really was earning more! :P

Being sick is tough, it's not anything serious, just that I eat a lot of spicy food, so I always get some sore throat or other, and it's not easy to communicate with clients and colleagues when my voice is so scratchy. Sighz...do I really have to give up spicy food? :~( Not to mention, it's hard on my singing too.

I don't remember if I mentioned this before, but I'm now in a band that I really, really love! They're the best, always looking out for me, and really, really great musicians too! Willie and Lone are my colleagues, and that's how I got to know them, and the band. Willie's the best drummer, you should see him move! Fast as anything, and very precise! Lone's our bandleader and lead guitarist, and his musical sense is amazing! He's teaching me guitar now. Yes, I'm learning guitar, and doing very well too, thank you very much. :P

Kelvin is our rhythm guitarist, and I adore him. He takes care of me, although he tries to act like he doesn't care. :P Guan is the bassist, and Andrew is our other vocalist, Guan is really cute and funny, he's like a big teddy bear, Andrew is the funniest, and most happening! I love this band! We have so much fun jamming, and hanging out!

But oh wait, I'm supposed to act cool....

Oh yeah, the band's ok.....*drags a smoke from my cigarrette*, it's no big deal. We're all cool... Cool.....dude.... Blek! LOL! Doesn't work too well for me, does it? *Toss cigarrette away*

Bottom line is, I'm having fun, I'm doing well, I'm loving life, and I think that's cool! :D

I swear I'll try harder to blog more. But I did mention that it's only if I don't have much else to do, and I've been really busy this last couple of months. With deadlines and goals and all.

Oh, btw, Elaine's back for good! I'm so happy, but I haven't metup with her yet. Her's birthday's this Saturday so it's gonna be great seeing her and everyone again, since Shyuan is also back, but only for a while. :( At least I'll get to see her. I missed them all sooooo much!

I have somethings to do....back to work, sighz....so tata until next time! :D