The Malaysian Bookcrossers were featured in the Star newspaper today in the Lifestyle section. Click here to read the entire article. You'll have to scroll down a little to see the part about M'sian BCers.

It's a terrible picture of me. =( And they kinda misrepresented me, because while I sort of did receive boxes of books from one bookcrosser overseas (Thank you so much, Eskielover), the article made it seem like it was just that one BCer who had so many books to send to me, when it was actually a whole bunch of really generous BCers who sent the books to Eskielover to send to me!

I'm really glad BC was featured in the Star, and I hope we get a lot of new members in BC after today's feature, but I hope that they don't join just because they want to get 'boxes of books' from BCers overseas. *frowns* I guess I'm a little ambivilent about the whole article. I'm glad that BC got some publicity, but I'm not sure the idea of BC came across well.

Bookcrossing was featured in the 'Swap it' section of the article, but that's not really the point of BC. The article did mention the concept was to leave books 'in the wild' but that it doesn't really work in Malaysia, which is disappointing, because if Bookcrossing doesn't work in Malaysia, then why join BC?

Why not just have a regular bookclub where member swap books with one another?

Personally, I seldom leave books in the wild, unless I go on vacation overseas or something, but the special thing about BC for me, is not just the swapping books(bookrings,bookrays,etc.), it is the community. A whole community of international booklovers where you learn so much about different people in different cultures who share a love for books! I love the *people* in BC, not the leaving books in the wild.

LOL! Which of course, isn't really the point of BC either. But for me, the people are actually the best part of BC. And an article focusing on Malaysian readers in a Malaysian community and Malaysian situations isn't really going to focus on the delightful diversity of the BC community, is it? =(

What do you guys think of the article?

I went to David Tao's concert last night. Can you believe it?! =D

Unfortunately, cameras weren't allowed, so no pix for you guys. Sorry.

It was all very last minute, I didn't even know that I was going to go until 4 hours before the show started. Coz Lone's friend had extra tickets, and I have no idea why, but they seemed to come in twos. First, Kelvin got two free tix, which were of course for himself, and he asked Lone to join him. Then, suddenly there were another two free tickets, which I could then claim for myself and whoever else. Then there was another two free tickets, which I then gave to Charmin and John.

Oh...did I forget to mention that they were free? *grin*

That's right, David Tao fans, I got to go for free! Muahahahahah!! And I didn't even like him or know who he was...

Oh, but I'm a fan now!

He's not like all those other boring, typical, Chinese singers. You know the ones I mean, good looks, sweet/sexy voice, ability to sing in tune, and that's about it.

The kind of singers I admire have *real talent*. They don't need good looks because their singing market them well enough. They have a good voice, power, control, emotion and musical sense. And David Tao has all these critieria, to various degrees of course.

That's why I'm his new fan. =D I like Coco Lee for the same reasons. They're not the typical, boring, good looking, sweet voiced, Chinese singers. And you know what they both have in common?

They were both brought up in some Western country, brought up on Western music. Which is waaaayyyy better than Chinese music. Seriously.

Flame me if you want, it doesn't stop what I said from being true.

Hong Kong singers are the worst! The only good songs that came out recently are copies of English songs, and they manage to spoil those perfectly good songs just by singing them. Their original songs are just copies in disguise, they all sound the same one way or another.

Taiwanese songs aren't so bad. At least they do have more than a tiny shred of talent, which is more than I can say for the Hongkies. There are actually quite a lot of good Chinese songs from Taiwan, but still not much variety or change to their music.

I'm not bias towards English music and against Asian, honestly. I love Korean and Jap music, and I'm a big fan of Thai music too! And some English songs can be really bad. *cough*London Bridge*cough* I used to love Chinese songs when I was little. The older songs by Sally Yeh, Beyond, Andy Hui, Leon Lai...etc, but I've since given up on listening to Chinese songs because they just keep getting worse and worse.

Granted, there are a few good ones, but I can't be bothered sifting through a hundred boring Chinese songs just to find the one good song.

So I end up missing them. =(

My sifu Lone has promised to expose me to more good Chinese songs though, =) I can hardly wait.

I love David Tao!!! =D

It's almost November! NaNoWriMo is starting soon...

*scared*

I'm so anticipating it right now. Excited, but nervous too. What if I don't make it? I made a bet with Lone. If I don't finish 50,000 words by the end of November, I'll have to give him RM500!

It's a big figure I know, but it's necessary, because there is no way, no way at all, that I won't make it. The RM500 will hurt if I really don't make it, but it won't hurt as much as my heart. I need to make it!

I will make it, I will make it, I will make it, I will make it....*chant*

'Ask and you shall receive.'
'The secret to getting what you want is living like you already have it.'

Ok, then. I've finished my 50,000 words! It's done! It's all there! =D

It's done!

Because I feel like it...

45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone
whats your name spelt backwards?:	htebazile
What did you do last night?:	read, watched a movie, sleep
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:	book cover images
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?:	no...
Last time you swam in a pool?:	ages ago...i can't even remember...i think in 2001?
What are you wearing?:	an old night dress
How many cars have you owned?:	two...
Type of music you dislike most?:	rap...but some are ok
Are you registered to vote?:	nope
Do you have cable?:	yeap
What kind of computer do you use?:	a dell laptop
Ever made a prank phone call?:	hhahahah...many. when i was much younger
You like anyone right now?:	i like a lot of people. =D
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?:	nope... but who knows?
Furthest place you ever traveled?:	hawaii
What's your favorite comic strip?:	rose is rose
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?:	umm....i think so
Shower, morning or night?:	night mostly
Best movie you've seen in the past month?:	the prestige!
Favorite pizza toppings?:	pineapple and pepperoni!
Chips or popcorn?:	both!
What cell phone provider do you have?:	maxis
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:	how?
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:	sort of, it was for miss sunway college or something like that...i forgot
Orange Juice or apple?:	orange pls
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?:	my mum
favorite chocolate bar?:	snickers
Who is your longest friend and how long?:	hahahhaha....longest? well...eng kok is pretty tall...i mean long. ahahhahaah
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?:	like...never?
Have you ever won a trophy?:	yeap, quite a few actually *proud*
Favorite arcade game?:	time crisis
Ever ordered from an infomercial?:	almost, but didn't
Sprite or 7-UP?:	sprite usually, but i like 7-up too
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?:	yeah, we all wear uniforms to school...
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?:	where?
Ever thrown up in public?:	not in public, but in a public toilet
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:	i prefer both...blek!
Do you believe in love at first sight?:	no...you have to walk past me again. double blek!
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?:	neither
Did you have long hair as a young kid?:	yeap...
What message is on your voicemail machine?:	none
Where would you like to go right now?:	narnia
Whats the name of your pet?:	baby
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?:	i dun have one, hence, nothing
What do you think about most?:	life in general, philosophy, spirituality...etc
Take this survey Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

I bought some belated birthday presents for myself today. =D I'm soooo happy! I got myself SIX new books!!

1. Following the Wrong God Home - Catherine Lim
2. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
3. Blink - Malcolm Gladwell
4. The World is Flat - Thomas L. Friedman
5. Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner
6. The Closers - Ben Gay III

I'm still in the middle of A Feast for Crows, but I made the mistake of going to Borders today, 'just for browsing'. Sighz...since when could I go into a bookstore and come out empty handed?

Note to self: Never ever *ever* go into a bookstore unless I have money to splurge! LOL!

On a whole other topic, I have found the secret to being happy! You wanna know what it is? =D

BE MORE DEMANDING!

Seriously!

About a month ago, my managers showed us a video entitled 'The Secret'. It's a really good show which I think everyone should watch, but the bottom line is: You always *always* get what you ask for.

The law of attraction says that, whatever you think of, will manifest. Whatever you wish for, will come true. Whatever you want, you'll have.

It's true! And don't you skeptics say it's not so simple as that! We believers always get what we want, because we believe in it, therefore we get what we want. Skeptics don't believe, therefore they manifest their disbelief and what they want is for the 'secret' not to come true for them, and hence, they too, get what they want!

But anyway, that's a debate for another time. If you want to know more about 'The Secret', click here.

In the meantime, let's get back on topic!

As I was saying, the secret to happiness, is to DEMAND for what you want! To be more specific; if you want to be happy in relationships, you have to be more demanding!

Now this topic isn't just coming out of nowhere, I'm sure many of you have been to at least one wedding this October. It's a crazy month for weddings, and I won't believe you if you say you don't know anyone who's gotten married this month. And of course, with all the wedding bells ringing our ears deaf, we obviously can't help thinking about our own forlorn love life, can we? =P

'I wonder if I'll ever find the one.'

'Oh, they look so happy. Will I be as happy with (insert name of significant other here)?'

'If only (significant other) loves me as much as he obviously loves her...'

And so on...

I have been criticized a lot, by men and women alike, for being so ultra demanding of my significant other. They say I demand too much, there's no such men out there, I should be more understanding, I'm too selfish, I expect too much from men...etc.

Just to give you a better understanding of my so-called 'unreasonable demands', let me give you 'a few' examples. Perhaps one or two isn't 'unreasonable', they're probably what every girl wants. But it's highly unreasonable to expect my man to have *everything* I want, isn't it? =P I would love my man to:

1. Put me first. I want to be his number one priority. Career is important, I don't deny that, but if I need him urgently, he will come to me without hesitating.
2. Be reliable. If he promises me something, whatever it is, he will deliver it. He will never leave me waiting or wondering where he is or what he's doing. If he can't deliver, no matter the reason, he will let me know so that I won't worry needlessly.
3. Be reasonable. I know it's impossible for couples not to have disagreements once in a while, but he will never hit me below the belt, and he will always discuss our problems logically and reasonably.
4. Never hurt me. Once in a while, I may get hurt although he didn't mean to hurt me, but he will always comfort me as soon as he sees my tears or my frown. And he will make me feel better within minutes.
5. Never leave me lost and alone. So many couples spend days not speaking to one another after an argument. My man will never do that, he sets things right with me as soon as anything happens, and I will never have to sit beside the phone, in tears, hoping that he will call, and wondering whether he's thinking of me.
6. Let me have my freedom. He won't sit down and sulk if I choose to go out with the girls and leave him alone once in a while. He'll have so much to do on his own, and he's perfectly capable to be without me for a few hours. We'll have such a secure relationship that he'll never worry about me being away from him, and I'll never worry about him being away from me.
7. Be sensible. He can have his fun, but he'll never drink too much, or let his friends influence him into doing things that he shouldn't be doing. He'll never go out too late if he has to work the next morning, he's driven, and focused, and he knows exactly what is right and what is wrong.
8. Be mature. He's a *man* and not a *boy* who still wants to play with his toys and won't do his homework. There's a time and place for everything. I have nothing against men who still play PS2, but in small doses please. My man won't spend the whole frigging day doing nothing but staring at the idiot box. Instead, he'll...
9. READ. He knows life is an endless journey of improvement, getting better and learning more. He reads because he knows that's one of the best habits to cultivate, he knows he'll learn priceless lessons, he knows he'll be exposed to more thoughts and ideas. And he knows I love reading too. =D
10. Take an interest in my interests. I've always been the kind of person who enjoys many things, and I try to learn about my man's interests too, so that I can share that part of his life. Because my man loves me so much and wants me to share my life with him, he takes up some of my interests too.
11. Be my driver. I don't like to drive, and I don't believe in gender equality. It's dangerous for girls out there, and my man worries about me. He doesn't want anything bad to happen to me, so he drives me whenever he can.
12. Treat me as the love of his life, not as a maid. He respects me. He doesn't expect me to pick up after him, he doesn't expect me to do all the housework, he shares responsibilities with me. He *appreciates* everything I do for him and doesn't see my efforts as me doing what a good gf should do.
13. Knows what I want, and gives it to me. He knows exactly what makes me happy, and he goes all out to do it for me. He knows when to hold me, he knows when to comfort me, he knows when I need him. He observes my reactions to food, books, whatever... and then he goes the extra mile to make sure I get them.
14. Surprise me. He gives me surprises when I least expect them. In fact, he gives me at least *three* surprises on my birthday. With the things I love, as mentioned above. =D
15. Wait for me. He waits months for me to decide if he's the one I want to be with. Why not? I waited years for him to appear. And the thought of looking elsewhere never even occurs to him, because he doesn't want just any girl. He wants me.
16. Make me feel special. I'm the one for him. The only one. Even if I didn't want him, he still waits patiently for me to realize that no one will love me as much as he does. He doesn't give up on me because he knows that he will never love anyone as much as he loves me.
17. Be confident. He knows that I will never find anyone better than him. He knows he's the one because he loves me and he will do anything to make me happy. He knows that I could search all over the world for a better guy and never find one better than him. He knows we are made for each other. He knows he is what I've been looking for.

And so much more. I'm serious. I have a lot more 'demands'!

And you know what, I do doubt myself sometimes. I wonder if maybe they're right, maybe I am too demanding, maybe I should lower my standards, maybe I'm waiting for a man that doesn't exist.

I've seen so many girls out there who compromise so much for their bfs. The men cheat, and they cry and cry and cry, but in the end, they forgive their men. And guess what, they cheat again.

The men treat them bad, and they take it. They allow their men to treat them like maids, to take advantage of them, to put them down, to treat them as a spare tire. Hello?! Grow some spines, girls! Men treat you bad because you allow them to! They become jerks because you are a spineless wimp! They don't respect you because you don't respect yourself!

I would *never* let a man degrade me like that! NEVER!

But still, I have to admit, my standards are still a whole damn lot higher than the average girl nowadays. Partly because no matter what people say, no matter how much people talk about gender equality, it will never happen. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't support gender equality, it's just that I face the truth which everyone tries to deny. We will never be equal.

Hence, I expect my man to be my driver. I expect him to pay for me when we go out. I expect him to contribute a higher percentage to our household income. I expect him to work harder in the corporate world... etc. I'm not saying I want to be a sit-at-home, 'goyang-kaki', mahjong-playing wife. I'm working equally as hard, but I'd be the one taking care of the kids most of the time, wouldn't I? I'd be cleaning the house, wouldn't I? I'd be cooking his meals, wouldn't I?

Like I said, no such thing as gender equality. I'm not complaining. I'm old-fashioned, and this is what I want. I want to be a *mother* to my kids, and a wife to my husband. None of those modern corporate woman boss ambitions for me.

Everyone else are welcome to their own wants and desires. These are mine. And they're not unreasonable. After so many tears and unhappiness with guys who weren't man enough for me... I finally realized that, the man I want, exists.

Yes! He exists! And he has everything that I listed above and more! =D

So...the moral of this long story is, *Ask, and you shall receive!* The universe will give you what you want.

My man is no Brad Pitt or Bill Gates, but he gives me so much love and happiness like you wouldn't believe! He makes me feel special, he knows what I want, he puts me first, he goes the extra mile for me, he takes interest in my interests, he respects me, he's always there for me, he surprises me..... HE LOVES ME AND HE MAKES ME HAPPY!

Yup, like he said, I could search the whole wide world, but I couldn't find a better man than him. This post is dedicated to him, for making me the luckiest girl on earth. =D

Went to 1U with Lone, Margaret, and Eng Kok for a dinner and a movie today.

Dinner was realllyyy filling, Paddington's Pancakes, kinda expected right? But delicious! Haven't had that in quite a bit.

The movie afterwards was *really* good!

The Prestige starring Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Scarlett Johanssen, Michael Caine, and even David Bowie!

I knew that guy looked familiar!

It was a *damn* good show! Obsession, magic, rivalry, suspense...!!

Actually, the only thing I knew about it before I stepped into the cinema, was that Scarlett Johanssen was acting in it. I didn't know anything else about it. But she was enough! Anything with her in it, I'm definitely watching! LOL! Weird huh? I should be saying it about the male actors.

Ahh, well...I always said bisexuality was a continuum, not a black and white thing. Give me a choice of sleeping with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, I'd take Brad Pitt. *drools* Give me a choice of Hugh Jackman and Scarlett Johanssen, I'd take Scarlett. *drools more* I am soooooo bi! LOL!

No seriously, the show, the show! It was great! It's about two magicians, who used to be friends, but because of an act gone wrong, became enemies instead. And then rivals. Each obsessed about the other, obsessed over who was the better magician. And each went through great lengths to top the other. No one ever wins in the end, when you play a dangerous game like that.

I wanna get the DVD!! Wanna watch it again!

But right now....I wanna sleep...*yawn*

Night, everybody!

*snores*

I'm happy, happy, happy!

There's nothing like a good dose of holidays in which I can spend the time doing whatever I want.

And I wanna read, read, read!! =D

I'm so happy!

I have my books, I have my writing, I have my music! What more do I need?!

*bliss*

I've been really tired lately and I'm really glad it's holidays this week. But in a way, it actually means more work for me. LOL! Coz this is the best time to get my writing done, and also my chores around the house. I'm still reading A Feast for Crows, and loving it, but I haven't got much time for many other things lately.

I'm so tired right now, and I just wanna go to sleep, but I have to force myself to keep on writing. Else I'll only keep postponing, which won't do at all. So I'll keep this post short and sweet, and get back to my writing now. Blek. =P

Before I go,

HAPPY DEEPAVALI & SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL!!

=D

Hey, loyal fans of mine, sorry for not blogging for so long! *giggles* I remember when 'not blogging for so long' meant that I haven't blogged in months. Now it's only been what, four days? And already my *ahem* fans are complaining!

LOL! Just joking! So far it's only been one person complaining. Hmm...I wonder if I don't blog for a couple more weeks, will my other fans start complaining too? ;P

Anyway, on a serious note, I've been reading a lot the last couple of days, both my birthday presents from Lone and some of my old writing books. And enjoying it a whole lot too! =D

Monday was a lazy day, coz I didn't sleep the whole night before that.
Tuesday and Wednesday I spent reading The Eyre Affair.
Wednesday night I would've posted up a review of the book, except that I had to prepare the contracts for my client the next day.
Yesterday was busy, busy, busy. Went to see my client in the morning and got stuck in the craziest jam. Traffic has been really unpredictable the last couple of days, coz of the upcoming festivals and holidays. So I finished at around noon, and had to go back to the office to notarize and submit the contracts. Had a meeting with my manager, and only finished at about 4 plus. Traffic on the way back was terrible too.

But I went to Mid Valley first, because I had a 'craving' for books. *big big smile* And let me tell you how happy I was that I went. I finally, finally, finally!! Found the book I had been waiting for, for three whole years!!

A Feast for Crows by George R R Martin!

I waited sooooo long, and finally the paperback is out! The first two years I waited for him to finish writing the book, it was finished last year, but was only out in hardcover and too expensive for me to get. Besides, a hardcover wouldn't match the other books I already had in the series. So I continued being patient for another year. I knew the paperback was coming out this year, I just thought it might be much later, maybe in November or December, but I found it yesterday and I am SO HAPPY!

I would've rushed back home and stuck my butt to the chair and started reading the book straightaway, except that I had to go for another round of futsal with my colleagues.

Yup, I played futsal again. =P

It wasn't as much fun this time around, because only 7 of us showed up, the rest were still stuck in the crazy-assed jam in KL, so they ended up not being able to make it. There were supposedly 15 of us coming, and only 7 showed up, and I was the only girl. It was sad. =( And damned exhausting!

I'm sure you know, less people means more running, and less guys to back me(the girl) up. So I was soon wheezing like a 70 year old climbing up a few flights of stairs, and no match at all for the other guys. Nope, not fun at all. =(

Well, nevermind, I got through the night thinking, I'd soon be home, and I'd be able to start reading A Feast for Crows! Yayy!!

I took a shower as soon as a got home, washed up, prepared myself for bed, and settled down and got comfy in my bed, all ready to read the book. And you'd never guess...

Five pages into the book, my eyes got too heavy to keep open any longer. And I fell asleep.

*grin*

Yup! Last night was the best sleep I had in ages! LOL!

As for the book, I'm now 82 pages in, and continuing again after I post this. =D Don't worry if I don't post for another few days, k. It's a 900+ paged book, and it'll take a while to digest, so I'm getting back to it now. Ta! =D

I finished reading The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde yesterday, and I was gonna blog about it but couldn't coz I had to prepare some contracts for my client today. So I thought I'd blog about it today, but... I went to MPH earlier today, and...

I FOUND GEORGE R R MARTIN'S A FEAST FOR CROWS IN PAPERBACK!

Finally! Yayyyy!! OMG! I am sooooo happy! I waited three whole years for the book ok! I finished book 3 long time ago, and I was waiting for him to finish this book, book 4 of the series, A Song of Ice and Fire. So he finished it about a year ago, finally! But still I didn't get the book, because it was only out in hardcover and it's too damn expensive for me.

I can be a patient person, so I decided to wait. Since I have other books to keep me distracted in the meantime, right? =D So I waited, and one year has gone by, and it's finally out in paperback!!

And of course I bought it! I practically grabbed it off the shelf! LOL!

So originally, I was going to say The Eyre Affair was the best book I've read this year, (Really, it's damn good! And I loved it!) but seeing as how I'm going to be reading A Feast for Crows I think The Eyre Affair will only be coming in second. =D

And also, I'll post my review of The Eyre Affair much much later! Probably when I've finished A Feast for Crows. =D I am sooo going to enjoy it! I deserve it! After being patient for so long!

It's 6.32am, and I'm still up. I shouldn't have drank so much tea last night, kept me wide awake the whole night. I probably won't be able to make it through the day at the office, so I'm just gonna call in sick and focus on my writings today.

I went through all my old stories and writing ideas just now, since I couldn't sleep. And I realize, I'm not the same writer I used to be. My thinking has changed a lot, the way I write, my imagination doesn't run wild the way it used to, I tend to think a lot more realistically about my ideas now(which isn't good, coz I miss out on creativity), I think I think too much. LOL!

But it was really great going through my papers, looking at what I've written previously and all the ideas I had... It inspires me again! I wanna go back to when I was a creative writer! =D I am seriously thinking of signing up for this year's NaNoWriMo but I'm a little afraid to. =P

But then again, if not now, then when?! It's actually really good timing for me. Alright, I'll do it! Wish me luck! And let me know if any of you decide to undertake this crazy project with me too, we can push each other!

Off to sign up now!

I got two new books for my birthday from Lone! Yayyy!! =D


The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde and Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel! Two books I've been wanting for a very long time! Thank you so much, Lone dearest! You're the best! Muah! =D

Here are the pix of my surprise birthday bash! =D

Me in my original outfit holding the gals' present

Dressed up in the gals' present! I love it! Thanks gals! =D

My girlfriends and me

My girlfriends and the guys with me

The Waltonians and me

The food! Which wasn't bad, but the portions were really small. =(

Cutting the cake! Which was delicious!

Happy Birthday to me!

A group picture of all of us! It was the bestest birthday ever! Thank you, guys! HuGz! =D

Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me-ey!
Haaaaaappeeeee Biiiiiiiirthdayyyyyy tooo meeeeeeeeee!

I made it! I'm 24 today! Hoorayyyyyyyyyy!

My very mischievous friends devised a very mischievous plot to surprise me today, which would've worked, but people kept giving it away little by little without even knowing! LOL!

Pictures will be up later, but let me tell you how terribly humorous it was:

Firstly, I had completely no idea what the plan was for today, I had no idea who was coming, where we're going, what we're doing. Absolutely nada idea! I knew it was a surprise, so I kept a really open mind to every single possibility. I had no expectations at all.

Come to think of it, they should've given me something specific to expect, then I sure would've been surprised. LOL!

Secondly, dearest Sng messaged me online and told me sorry for not being able to see me on my birthday. I said, well, maybe I'd see him after dinner with my gfs. And he said, wasn't the guys coming along too. LOL! And he said he was supposed to go to but couldn't make it, that's why he said sorry. =P

Thirdly, Margaret herself gave something away. Coz all I did was ask her an innocent question, "Where are you guys now?" And she went, "Guys? What guys?" LOL! So obvious, right?

But in fact, I still would've been surprised! Because I thought the guys were going, but I didn't know my colleagues were too! Or I wouldn't have known, if we didn't bump into Remus on the way in. LOL!

The moment I saw him, I had my suspicions, but I wasn't sure coz he was alone, I thought maybe he was meeting some friends. But he got lost I think, and didn't know where the restaurant was, so he was following us. And like, duh! Why would he follow us if he wasn't part of the plan. LOL!

So although it wasn't a big shocking surprise, it was still a gradual one. And I totally enjoyed it! =D In fact, I think I enjoyed it more because it was gradual! =D

You know me, I like reading mysteries and watching CSI and etc... It was great fun trying to figure out what they had in store for me.

So here's my post-birthday party speech: (sort of)

Thank you loads, to Margaret and my brother! The key conspirators of this devious plot! I love you both!

Thank you to Melina, for the wonderful top! I know I'm gonna be wearing it a lot!

Thank you to all my girlfriends, Margaret, Charmin, Elaine, and Ee Won, for the beautiful dress! I love it, love it, love it!

Thank you to my schoolmate, Eng Kok, for being the only guy friend from school who came! =D

Thank you to all my colleagues, Anna, Bob, Ceaser, Chris, Raymond, Lai Mun, Lone, Remus, and Grace, for coming to the party. I enjoyed all your company!

Thank you to all the significant others, Melina, John, and Jeremy, for being there!

Thank you to my brother, Bob, Ceaser, Lone, Melina, Margaret, and Eng Kok, for continuing the fun with me at my place! It was great!

Thank you, all of you! For giving me a wonderful night to remember!

XOXO,
-=Betty=-

I got a new skin for my blog!! =D

What do y'all think? Nice? Brighter? Sweeter? Cooler? 'Chill'-er?

I like it! It's supposed to signify a new era, a new year, a fresh start... And also, you know, kinda like, have fun, take it easy, chill-out, relax. I know I've been easily frustrated and upset lately. So on my 24th birthday, I'm going to turn over a new leaf. Be happy. Start anew. Blah. Blah. Blah. You get the picture. =D

Well, happy birthday to me in advance! I'll write again later after I get back from whatever surprise thingy Margaret and the gals have planned out for me. Hope I'll still be in one piece! Margaret said she'd be my driver tonight. Uh oh... =P She's just joking, I hope! =D

You know it's funny. For the first time in my life, I'm not conscious of my birthday the way I used to be. I mean, I know it's coming, I know the day and date, but sometimes I forget. Even with a counter on my blog, I forget that it's just days away, or right now, just hours away.

I don't look forward to it the way I used to. Is it the birthday blues? I used to be so hopeful. I'm young, I have so much potential, I have my whole life ahead of me, yada yada yada. But now another year has passed me by and I'm wondering, what have I achieved that I can be proud of?

It's not like I totally don't have any achievements, I do of course, minor stuff, little things here and there. I did well on my assignments at school/college, I do well at work, I've won a couple of singing competitions, I've written some great short stories although I haven't publish anything.

But there's nothing I can be *really* proud of. Nothing that I can look back at on my dying day and say, "I achieved that. I did that." With pride and without regrets.

Another year older, another year I feel I'm wasting my life away not living my dreams. I've always thought I had my life planned out so well. I'm gonna do this practical thing now, then I'll do my dream later, then I'll do my other dream after that...

But now I realize, that's no such thing as later. It's now or never. I can't keep saying I'll do it tomorrow, because tomorrow never comes.

I'm at a loss. Because I'm too much of a realist now to give up everything for my dreams. I thought I've become stronger now, more practical, more realistic, less naive, less dreamy... but sometimes I wish I could have my childhood back. I wish I could be the same innocent, dreamy, hopeful, happy, Betty I used to be.

I feel cynical beyond my years.

You know what people say, about growing old being mandatory, but growing up being optional? I think I'm growing up too soon, too much, without even being able to grow old yet. And in fact, growing up makes me grow old. I can't count how many silver hair I have on my head now.

I want to live my dreams, but I'm so pressured to prove myself at work. Ironically, I know I can do a whole lot better at work than I already am, but because I feel this wistfulness in my heart, and more importantly, because I'm not happy at work coz I don't get along with my manager, I get down more often than not, when things go wrong at work.

I mean, we can't always have good days, right? But I get a lot of pressure and criticism from my manager when things don't go well, instead of encouragement and guidance. In fact, I don't get much of anything from him at all.

Some days it gets so bad that I just want to quit there and then. But I won't. Because I'm too practical. I could do a lot better at work if I was happy there, but I still do well enough depressed. Better than if I were to quit and find some other job.

So the question here is, do I give up my happiness for a well-paying job? Or get a not so well-paying job and be happy?

It's a dumb question, I would leave and be happy in a minute!

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. I love my job, I love my work, I love my colleagues. It's only my manager I have a problem with. If I were to leave, to a not so well-paying job, what makes me think I'd be happier there anyway? I mean, what are my qualifications? There's not many options open to me. I might not like my new job at all, I might not have great colleagues, I might have a worse manager! And with lousier pay.

Better the devil you know, right? And be grateful for the good stuff in your life, rather than focusing on the bad.

I know...I *have* been depressed lately. I'm trying my hardest not to be. I try to be as positive as I can, but it's not easy facing things on my own. I know I'm strong. I know I can handle anything, but seriously, why should I want to lift heavy weights for no reason? No matter how strong I am, I'd still prefer not to have to be.

Is it really birthday blues? Or is it more than that? I haven't been myself for a couple of months now.

I want to achieve something. On my own. And I want it to be something important to me. Not necessarily to everyone else, but to me.

Perhaps I'll give myself a really special birthday present. Make one of my wishes come true.

There! You see! There's still hope!

I played my first futsal game today!!!! Wooooottt!!

And I surprised myself! I thought I was gonna suck big-time, but I wasn't all that bad. =P I wasn't like, damn good either, I just didn't suck. LOL! I scored a couple of goals!!

And I scored a couple of own goals too! =P LOL! And I stopped one or two balls as the goalkeeper too! *grin* So proud of myself! First timer weiiiii! And never *ever* played football or anything to do with contact between my foot and a ball before weii!!!

But it was soooooooooooooooooo tiring! Play few minutes feel like dying already. Not like badminton. Badminton I can go on for hours. Futsal waahhh....

I sorta have mixed feelings now. On one hand, it's fun. On the other hand, it's scary. I got hurt! Bruises! 'Grass' burns! Those guys kick the ball damn hard k!

I prefer very much to avoid pain, and you can call me a sissy, but I rather think of myself as *smart*. Blek! But I'm not that smart though, I didn't really avoid the ball. I *did* try to stop them the best I could, as a goalkeeper, but the balls hit me and proceeded to go into the goal. =(

I'm surprised I actually played at all. LOL! I try to avoid potentially painful games, but my brother suddenly decided not to go, and suggested I take his place. Bleh!

But it was fun!! =D I'm glad I played! I'm proud of myself! I'm just really wondering if it's going to be a one time thing, or the start of a new hobby for me. Sighz... What do you guys think?

I took an off day from work today coz I was feeling a little sick, what with the haze and not getting enough rest during the weekend too. =(

But it was great lying back and reading the whole day today. I haven't had many chances to relax and enjoy a whole day of quiet reading for so long now, and oh, it was wonderful!

I finished reading Agatha Christie's The Clocks, which by the way, adds to my blissfulness today. I haven't read Agatha Christie's works since I was 13! Oh my gosh, that's like more than 10 years ago! I'm so glad I found her again.

You can go to my bookblog to see my review about it. =D I'm now on a mystery phase. I have to go back to work tomorrow though, and there's so much to do this week, so I'll just have to read in bits and pieces again.

Oh well, you win some, you lose some. LOL!

Having a lot to do at work means a big fat paycheck for me, so I don't mind reading a little at a time. What to do... We all have to work to earn the money to support our passions. ;D

The Clocks by Agatha Christie (246 pages)

Date Started: 8th Oct 2006

Date Finished: 9th Oct 2006

Rating:

This is an oldie but goodie. I remember spending days in the library when I was in Secondary 1 reading all the Agatha Christie's books I could get my hands on. That was my first introduction to Agatha Christie, and surprisingly, when I switched schools after Secondary 1, I haven't read another Christie mystery until now.

I remember loving all of her mystery novels and devouring handfuls of them at a time, but unfortunately, I must have been spoiled by more modern mystery novels, because there seemed to be a lot which lost me in this book.

The book and the plot was still masterfully woven, and it was amazing how everything tied up and made sense at the end. It's the classic mystery novel in which the atmosphere and writing style really appeals to me. You really never know who did it until the end, and then you think, wow...how did I miss it?

Mysteries nowadays are more engaging, with more characterization, and many of them give you false leads and red herrings, making you suspect one and then another person, which is of course, enjoyable reading in their own right too. But it was such a treat reading a classic mystery written by one of the best mystery writers of all time again.

I so wanna get my hands on more of her books now. =D

P.S. By the way, I'm still in the middle of reading Waterbabies, which I will put aside for now because I suddenly realized that with all my variety of books, I hadn't read a single mystery novel. So I picked this book up, and suddenly I'm on my mystery phase. LOL! More to come soon!

Saturday I had to wake up really early to go to work, and I overslept. Serves me right for staying up so late the night before. And the funniest thing was, Lone and Bob both overslept too! I don't know if C-Zer overslept, but he was late too, so I'd assume he did. LOL! All the culprits were late to work!

Anyway, nothing really interesting happened at work, so I'll just skip to the good part. Soo Wan's wedding!

It was the most beautiful wedding I had ever been to! The most touching, happiest, wonderful, truly happy-ever-after fairytale wedding! And Soo Wan was so beautiful... I can't find the words to describe the wedding, all I can say is that there wasn't a dry eye in the entire room after Soo Wan's and her newly wedded husband's speeches. *sniff* :~)

I'm so envious but so happy for her! I wish her and Ricky all the best in their marriage! I can't stop tearing up every time I think of how touching their wedding was. This is really true love, and I sooooo believe in the magickal powers of true love now.

The beautiful bride and groom with Charmin and me.


The beautiful bride, Soo Wan and me




Charmin, Elaine, and me



The SKLian girls

It was great catching up with all my old schoolmates too. Everyone was there! It was an absolutely beautiful and memorable night! I know I'm going to keep this night in my heart for a very very long time. All the best to Soo Wan and Ricky! With all my love!

The last few days has been really eventful and tiring, but so completely beautiful and memorable. I finally have a chance to sit down and have a breather today, so here's an update on what I've been doing since Friday.

Margaret was having a craving for something really spicy, so I took her to Gem's restaurant in Jalan Gasing, and mmm.....was it yummy! *slurp* I'm so glad bookcrosser Taty chose that place for our buka puasa meetup last monday. The food is delicious, and I'm gonna be going back there so often now.

We had papadam with mint sauce to start with, and then we ordered the mushroom pepper fry and hydrabad chicken, and a curry lamb, nasi briyani, butter and garlic naan, and jeera pulao.

I love the mushroom pepper fry, and the hydrabad chicken was the ultimate spicy dish! I love it, love it, love it!

I had a small gathering at my place after that for the Mid-Autumn festival. It was originally supposed to be just me and my two 'low kongs', Lone and C-Zer. But I ended up kidnapping Margaret over, and my brother decided to join us too. Bob came over but much later after we finished with the lanterns and candles. I feel so childish. LOL! It's been ages since I last played with lanterns on Mid-Autumn festival. But oh, it was so fun to sorta relive my childhood.

Working together to light up the place

Candles don't stay lit coz of the wind

Trying to keep the candles lit and relighting the ones which didn't

Success!! A beautiful sight!

It was great fun! And we hung out until about 2am, which wasn't a really good idea because we all had to work the next day. But oh come on, how often do you get a chance to be ridiculously childish with your friends. =D I hope I still stay young when I'm old and gray.

I'm in the mood for some WARM FUZZIES!!!!!! :D

Here are some *in a cutesy annoying high-pitched voice* weally weally weally WEALLY cuuttttttteeeeeee pix!

I got these cuddly wuddly kitty pix from an email from Lone. Say it with me:

Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!

Look at the expression on this one. *snuggles*

And here are some weally weally cute puppy pix from CuteOverload.com.

This one here below has the coolest name, The Cuteness. =D She even has her own website, so click on her name to visit.

Do I really need to say anything about this pup's face? Awww.....

Too cute!!

*Snuggle wuggles*

And finally, this is too cute for me not to point you over. Click here, you'll absolutely love it, I promise. :D

I just got home from work and I'm all tired out. We had a new launch yesterday, and everything went crazy coz everyone was calling everyone, and within two hours we sold the whole phase out! But because we knew that there'd be another phase, (we were just waiting for the price) we told our clients to put in reservations anyway, and we'd wait to see if there were more available units.

So...got up this morning, supposedly to go to the office coz there was a meeting, we had 10 new exit offers! But I couldn't make it coz I had to see my client before he went outstation, so I went to see my client in Cheras, presented the project, went home for lunch, then I had to meet another client to present the same project in Sunway, *deep breath* then I had to go back to the office in KL to submit the cheques for the reservations, met another client to return her document package, and then I got stuck in the jam all the way home. Sighz....

Travelling is tiring. Especially here in the wonderful land of traffic jams. ;P

Not to mention, I slept late because I was preparing all the materials for presenting to my clients today. That's one of the features of this job; every time we have a new launch in a new area, we have to acquaint ourselves with all the information in record time, or everything will be all sold out before you even get your hands on it.

The good thing about it is that most of our existing clients already know our concept, and they've seen our track records, and they trust our company and our product, so the moment we tell them there's a new launch in a great place, they say "Buy!" first, and show them the details later. LOL!

The bad thing is that clients who are new to our company and our concept usually miss out on the best projects, because they take too long to think about it. But of course, the moment they become our clients, they make quick decisions for any new launches after that. =D

It was a really *really* tiring day, but I feel accomplished. =D And tomorrow is another busy day, we're all preparing for a company event this weekend, and it's going to be a really good one. 10 projects with offers, all at once! Woo....I'm impressed! LOL!

Anyway, now that I'm back home, finally, I've stuck my butt on to my chair I'm am not leaving it. Unless it's to get stuck to my bed instead. LOL!

Yesterday was a bad day. =( But I'm getting over it, and just to get things into perspective, I've decided to make a list today, of 50 things that make me happy. =D

50 things that make me happy:

1. Waking up to the sound of rain in the morning
2. And knowing that it's a weekend and I can sleep in
3. Coming home everday to my puppy Baby's enthusiastic greeting
4. Hearing an old favourite song play on the radio while driving home
5. Receiving letters and postcards in the mail.
6. Having the whole day free to immerse myself in a book.
7. Finding a carton of ice cream in the freezer when I feel like having a snack in the middle of the night.
8. Getting an unexpected call from an old dear friend
9. Spending hours in the bookshop
10. Singing my heart out without caring about whether I'm in tune or not.
11. Having fun nights out with my girlfriends
12. Lounging at home in my pj's and having a movie and chocolate fest
13. Performing my favourite songs to a really great crowd
14. Playing Taboo and being silly with my friends
15. Fixing jigsaw puzzles
16. Finishing the crocheted project I've been working on
17. Making things with my hand - cards, bookmarks, bad art...LOL!
18. Having interesting book discussions with fellow bookworms and bookcrossers
19. Learning interesting trivia from books I read and being able to actually apply them to real life.
20. Going on road trips.
21. Late night chats on the phone with my girlfriends.
22. Having a fun and crazy time with the Malaysian Bookcrossers
23. Waking up to good hair days
24. Going out to a nice restaurant with a good friend and having great conversation and my favourite food.
25. Finding a pretty dress, in my size, cheap
26. Getting unexpected gifts
27. Getting hugs. Lots of them!
28. Giving hugs. Lots of them!
29. Making someone smile
30. Watching heartwarming movies that make me tear up.
31. Feeling loved and wanted
32. Indulging in rich food once in a while
33. Having a great game of badminton with friends
34. Getting an unexpected compliment on a bad day
35. Getting a sweet message from someone who cares on a bad day
36. Playing foosball with the guys
37. Spending a nice quiet night fishing with a friend
38. Getting things that I really want at a steal
39. Taking the time to pamper myself with massages, facials, spas...etc
40. Writing in my blog and having people care about what I have to say
41. Writing everyday in anticipation of a book that I hope will eventually be published
42. Feeling accomplished when I achieve my goals at work way before their deadlines
43. Reading through all my diaries and seeing how far I've come
44. Looking around my room and feeling lucky to be surrounded by loads of books
45. Finishing a song I composed and loving it
46. Meditating and feeling a deep sense of peace
47. Loving myself
48. Being in tune with the world
49. Connecting to someone on a spiritual level
50. Being surrounded by books, music, art, love, warmth, understanding, and loving all of it!

Ahhh....I feel so much better now. =D

And while I'm at it, I got tagged by Denise to name seven songs that I've been listening to and enjoying lately. Soooo.....

1. High Road Easy - Sass Jordan
2. Midnight at the Oasis - Brand New Heavies
3. A Love That Will Last - Renee Olstead
4. Sway My Way - Liz Phair
5. Air We Breathe - Alisha's Attic
6. Afterglow - INXS
7. Breathe - Michelle Branch

And... I'm going to tag a new blogger, Zarina and a dear old friend, Minachie. :D

Sighz....

Your Depression Level: 60%

You seem to have mild depression. A lot of people fall into your range, and it's quite possible you don't need treatment. If you've been feeling this way for a while, you may want to seek help.

Are You Depressed?

What I wanna know is...

Does anyone give a fuck about me other than what I can do for them?

I went out for dinner with the Malaysian Bookcrossers tonight after so long of missing so many meetups. The last time I met them must have been at least, I think five months ago, at The Curve. Except for Tim. I last met Tim on Merdeka Day, also at the Curve. =D There must be something about the Curve... Hmm, what is it?

Oh yes, that's right! Borders! =D Just saying the name makes me happy! LOL!

Ah yes, back to what I was saying. I met the Bookcrossers tonight for buka puasa dinner in an Indian restaurant, Gem, at Jalan Gasing. It wasn't bad, the food was great, and the service was quite attentive too.

I don't know why I don't meet them more often, I have so much fun when I do! But they meet most Sunday afternoons and I usually can't make it on Sundays afternoons. =(

Anyway, the reason why I have so much fun with them is mostly coz of these three 'monkeys'. LOL! See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil.

From left to right: Taty, Denise, & Ariel

They were the stars of the night, that's for sure. The rest of us just laid back and let them entertain us. ;D And the funniest thing was, although their motto was supposedly see, hear, and speak no evil, they definitely *did* a lot of evil! LOL!

It all started because Denise picked up this book:

And she flipped it open, just to take a look at it, and started laughing like mad coz of some of the passages. She tried to read it aloud to us, but she couldn't coz she was laughing so damn hard. So Taty took things into her own hands. LOL!

She read:

" 'Touch me,' he breathed. 'Touch me now.'

She looked away from herself and saw that Bobby had unbuttoned the tuxedo pants and brought his penis into view. He moved her hand to it.

'My dick,' he breathed romantically. 'My dick, my dick, my dick.' "

At this point all of us were laughing uncontrollably! The only one who still kept a straight face was Taty, and she continued reading:

" Bethany held the object of his intensity curiously. She moved it left and right like a stick shift.

'No, no, up and down,' he drawled.

'I understand it now. Now I get it,' she said, removing her hand. "

OMG! I couldn't believe it! ROFLMAO!! "Are you serious?" I asked Taty, I really couldn't believe that the book said that. I thought maybe Taty had embellished it to make it funnier for us, but honest to god I swear, I took the book from her to see for myself, and I swear, that was exactly what was written on the page!!

What the --??!! He *breathed romantically*, 'my dick, my dick, my dick'??!! What so romantic about that? LOL! And 'she held the object of his intensity curiously'???! Since when do 'virgins' hold the *object of his intensity* curiously? BWAAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!!!

Ok, admittedly we read the passage out of context, but honestly, I don't care how good the book is, no one should ever write about sexual acts like that! EVER!

OMG! People actually write like that?! Well, *cheeky grin* I took the book home with me, coz I've been reading too many intense books lately, and I figured I could definitely use more laughs. ;P Let's see if the sex scenes could get any more ridiculous. You can count on me posting up more passages here if they do. Bwahhahahah!!!

The ironic thing is that I think this book is supposed to be about a tragedy. I have no idea what it's about, I just wanna read it coz it's just too funny!

*smirk* I'm gonna have so much fun reading it.

Oh, by the way, the reason we met up for dinner was because there was this journalist from The Star who wanted to interview us about Bookcrossing. I'm not sure when the article is going to come out, but it'll probably be some time next week. I'll post when I know. =D Hope I don't look terrible in the pix. =P