You know, I used to keep a diary.

A private, physical one, where I handwrote all my thoughts and my secrets in.

Sometimes I wonder why I blog instead of write in my diary. The thing is, I can write more details in my diary, and say as many bad things about as many a**holes as I want, and fully disclose their names as well.

So why do I choose to blog where I have to censor certain details, instead of letting it all out in a diary.

Heck, why does anyone do it?

In the hopes of getting heard, I think.

Many times, even while I was writing in my private diary, I always thought, wouldn’t my great-grandchildren get a kick out of reading their great-grandmother’s diary? ;-)

I want them to see how I was, that their boring old great-grandmother had a life, had feelings, had thoughts…

We all want to be heard. We want people to know who we are, to understand us, to feel like we’re not alone.

Blogging gives us that.

We may have many readers, or just a few, we may have a lot of feedback via comments or none at all, but putting it all out there on a blog at least let us think that maybe, just maybe, someone is listening to us.

So recently I was offered a credit card from a bank.

Ok, not really “offered”, but the representative asked me to sign up for it since it was free, blah blah blah, the usual sales pitch they do to get you to sign up for credit cards…

I already had one, so I didn’t need another one, but I thought, oh well, why not. So I signed up for it,

The representative said it would take a little while for them to do the basic required background check on me to see if I was eligible for the credit card.

I understood, of course, they’d want to see if I was earning enough money, or if I had any unpaid debts, or etc.

I was very confident that their background check would be very favorable for me, because I earn reasonably well, and I’d *never* owed money to my other credit card provider.

*Ever*.

And I do mean ever. I’d had that card for at least a couple of years, and I’d always paid back every single cent every single month. Not the minimum amount, but the full amount. Every month. Never fail.

I seldom use my credit card, you see, and I put small amounts of credit on it, and I never spend money that I don’t have.

So I was kinda proud of myself, I felt as if I was like a model citizen, always paying back anything I owe. I was so sure that this second credit card company would definitely approve my application.

Imagine my surprise when they told me my application was declined!

I wondered what skeletons in my closet did they dig up while doing the background check that they would decline my application… I really was confused!

Then it hit me!

The exact reason why I thought they’d surely approve me, is the exact reason why they declined me!

They can’t make any money out of me!

Because I pay back every single cent I owe, rather than just the minimum amount, and allowing the rest of it to be subjected to the interest, they can’t make money out of giving me a credit card!

And in fact, I think they might even lose money because they wouldn’t even be charging me for the service! (Because the representative said no charge for first year, etc.)

Those banks are real crooks, I tell you. Not giving me a credit card coz they can’t make money out of me… *sheesh*

But then again, they probably figured I really didn’t need one anyway, and they’re right. LOL!

But they’re still crooks! Think of the amount of interest they charge us when we take loans from them, and then think about the amount of interest they give us when we put our hard earned money in their banks, for their use!

Crooks!

Hmmppphh…

I’ve been really busy the last couple of days getting things done that I should’ve gotten done a long time ago.

It feels good to finally get some of them out of the way, but the more I work, the more work I realize I have!

And as with everything, I need to make a choice. I know I have a lot to do, and not enough time to do them all. I’m not superwoman, that I can do things in superspeed and with super efficiency, or Hiro, that I can manipulate time.

So sometimes I wonder if I should continue blogging, because I realize that I blog mostly for my own indulgence. At the same time though, I think my blogging is important, because it’s an outlet for me.

Then I think again, that I have so many blogs, and surely I could give some of them up? But then again, no, because this blog is important for expressing my thoughts, and my book blog is important not just for expressing my thoughts on books but also because I’ve made so many new friends from it!

Every blog I have, I have for a reason, and I don’t want to give them up. They are worth maintaining for various reasons.

So I think about my studies; obviously, I can’t give up my degree program in Holistic Nutrition, because this is the ‘official’ course I’m taking. I’m also ‘un-officially’ studying religion and spirituality, crochet and knitting crafts, various computer skills, and so many other stuff I’m interested in.

I’ve given up on some of them, *for now*, but even so I still have a lot on my plate, and am not willing to cut down on some of them.

I live for learning, and I live for growth, and I’m loving learning something new everyday!

Do I even need to mention the other stuff I need to get done everyday? My music practice, freelance work, cleaning house, correspondence, etc… 

So yes, I do have a lot on my plate, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Life is fun!