Sunday, December 16, 2007

A little down

I have had a very stressful week this week. I won't go into details, but generally, it's because of two reasons:

  1. I'm having some trouble understanding some new knowledge and information.
  2. I've been having some communication problems with certain people who seem to insist on misunderstanding me.

Usually, in the first case, I'd ask for clarifications so that I may understand better, but it seems that the more questions I ask, the more confused I get because I keep getting different answers from different sources. I'm feeling quite frustrated and very, very, confused. =(

In the second case, I normally just ignore people who deliberately misunderstand me on purpose just so they'd have a reason to fight, but in this case I can't, because I don't want to offend the *other* people who are friends of these people.

So yeah, I've been having a really hard week, and I haven't been sleeping well because of worrying about these problems and how to solve them.

I've always been a solitary, independent thinker. I'm not so independent when it comes to physical stuff, for example, traveling alone or getting official biz done, but when it comes to ideas/opinions/learning/planning...etc, *thinking* stuff, I like being solitary.

This is why I enjoy online studying so much, I'm completely in control, can choose how, when, and what I study, how long to focus on particular topics, etc.

This is also why I prefer to learn Chinese on my own rather than have a teacher teach me. And also why I stopped having piano lessons and bought books and went online to find guides that can help me learn on my own instead.

Bottom line is: I don't like people telling me what to do.

That may not be the best thing to be, but nevertheless, it is quite true. That's not to say that I don't listen to advice or guidance especially when I recognize the good in them, but giving me advice is one thing, ordering me around is another.

I'm just really upset now, I need to take a break and relax a little.