Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Life's Like That

Life is like a roller coaster...

Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down, sometimes you plummet so fast and so hard that you can't catch your breath and you feel like you're dying.

Right now I'm down. For the last few months I haven't actually been up at all... I've just been hovering on the 'ok' line, and most of the time I've been on the 'not ok' line. And this fact itself brings me down.

I had a great life. And in one irreversible moment, all that changed. Now I'm stuck in this unhappy situation... It's not a *very* bad situation or anything, it's not like I'm being physically, emotionally, or whatever-abused or something. But it's not a happy situation.

I try to find happiness in other parts of my life... but there's not much left for me. Too much of my life have been touched by these elements. I feel too old to be going through this sort of shit. I just want a happy, simple, uneventful life... I'm not into drama anymore. Can't we all just get along?

I don't show it to anyone...but everyday this situation continues, I die a little more inside. I try to pretend that I don't care, that it doesn't affect me...but it does...and I care more than anything. Yet no one else cares. Although I tell them how I feel...I try to change things...but nothing changes. And I'm just asking myself...what am I still doing here?

Sometimes I feel like running away, I don't want to face this everyday... And sometimes I wonder what running away will solve. Where can I go anyway?

I know I'm not alone... But sometimes it really feels like I am.

Something's got to give...