Enough already!

Every time I start to relax, I'm reminded that I have too many things to do.

My father has been pressuring me about my health studies, asking me why am I doing it so slow, and yet at the same time acknowledging that I'm doing it part-time...

He really confuses me sometimes...

I told him I have a *lot* of things to do, not just study. I'm working with Lone to build up our business, and I'm working constantly on several side businesses as well, not to mention working on making my dreams come true (which involve a lot of foundation work that doesn't show immediate results).

Not to mention a lot of personal stuff that I need to get done as well... My library still needs to be organized, I get sent on household errands a lot (just because I work at home! Arrghh!), and Lone and I are just only starting to organize for our big day next year.

Oh, yes, we're getting married, by the way. =)

Anyway, more on that later, nothing much to say about it now, since we're only just planning about the planning.

So yeah, apparently I'm too slow in my *part-time* studies, and I need to prioritize. Um...I *do* prioritize.

I love studying health and I'm really into my course, but building up our business is much more important now, since we need to earn more money for our wedding and our future, which of course, means that building up my other side businesses is also more important.

That doesn't mean that I'm not studying!

It will kill me if I have to do this, but I may have to put aside my dreams! (because I have nobody to answer to except myself when it comes to my own personal dreams, but they *should* be at the highest priority, shouldn't they?) so that I can spend more time with our businesses and with my studies.

I'm not slow! I'm just not fast. =P

And I'm unwilling to give anything up! I want it all!

Yes, I want to have my cake and eat it too, and I want to be able to do all the things I want to do, because they are all important to me!

I just need everyone to stop with the pressure! I'm doing the best I can!

I love studying, and if I wasn't doing my course now, I will eventually take it up again in the future. But we've already paid, and I'm committed to it, and I'm enjoying it! I just need to be able to go my own pace!

Because truth be told, out of everything I'm doing now, studying is the least important. And if I really *have* to give up something, I would prefer that studying be it.

But it is still important, and I am still committed, and I want to do it! But I want to do it MY WAY! Even my college isn't pressuring me about my pace! It's a self-paced course and I have 5 years to finish it, and they recognize that we're doing it part-time.

I try to allow myself to relax, because I'm so busy and feel so guilty if I'm not doing something productive 24 hours a day that sometimes I'm afraid I may go crazy.

And I hate it that my work goes unrecognized by everyone except Lone, just because I work *mostly* at home.

WORKING AT HOME MEANS I *WORK* AT HOME, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I SIT IN FRONT OF THE TV WITH NOTHING TO DO EXCEPT WAIT FOR YOU TO GIVE ME SOME CHORE!

*HIGH-PITCHED FRUSTRATED SCREAM!*

I need a holiday...=(