So...it's Monday, and it's back to work!

It was a slow day at work, as it usually is after a long holiday week, everybody's still in party mode. I kinda didn't get much sleep last night, and I'm not Hokkien so I didn't even have an excuse (I stayed up reading), so while waking up this morning wasn't that difficult, staying awake at work was a *real* challenge.

But I made it! Almost... I came home a little earlier, but after I've gotten everything done. It wasn't a very productive day though.

The weekends were really exciting! LOL! But I'm not gonna go into that now, coz I want to make sure I've got all the pix first. It's unfair to always tell the story and promise the pix later and never deliver.

Sorry la... Sometimes too busy, sometimes too lazy, sometimes just forgetful...

I'll have better posts and pix once I get my time organized ya. =)

Anyway, although work has started, we've still got one more week and more importantly, one more weekend! of CNY. So work hard, play hard, and have a very happy and prosperous new year!

I went to work early yesterday to get some stuff done. Got an ang pow from the boss. =) Stayed until lunch, then went home and spent most of the day letting time get away from me. It felt kinda nice to be so relaxed, but at the same time I felt a little guilty for being so unproductive.

There wasn't anything much to do today, so all I did was play some card games with mum, read a book, lie in bed talking on the phone, and all sorts of other unproductive activities. =P

It's a little bit boring during the day, but I'm hoping tonight will be a little more happening. I know for sure tomorrow night will be fun. =D Because everyone's coming over to my place tomorrow! At about 8, ok? =)

As mentioned, cover charge is losing money to me at the blackjack table. If you don't lose money to me, I won't invite you back next year. =P

LOL! Just joking.

Well, anyway, I had some time to read while I was at my hometown, since there was nothing else to do... I'm in the middle of Stephen King's IT, and it's a huge book, over a thousand pages, but it's great so far. I'm witholding judgement of the book/writing until after I'm done, but it did get me thinking...

The difference between being a child and being an adult...

In the book, horrible haunted things happen to these seven kids, and they could face it and they could conquer it. But 27 years later, when they had all become adults, they are ten times as terrified as they used to be when they were kids.

It's weird coz I thought adults would have a better grip on themselves, they'd be older, stronger, wiser, smarter. Yet they are more terrified than they were as kids.

Which got me thinking.

As kids, we worry about monsters in the closet and under the bed, and ghosts and stuff like that, and our parents had to console us whenever we woke up from a bad dream.

As adults, we no longer have nightmares about monsters and ghosts and stuff like that, coz we're more concerned about the 'real world'.

But what happens if the 'real world' consists of *real* monsters and ghosts. What if these were very real problems? How do you think you'd have handled it as a child, and how would you handle it as an adult?

I think I'd be terrified too. As an adult.

If a monster came to get me when I was a kid, all I'd have to do is scream for mummy and daddy, and they'd come and save me. As a kid, I'd think "no one will be able to get me when I'm bigger, monsters don't eat adults, they only eat kids, like me. I'll be fine when I'm bigger, like mummy. When I'm as big as mummy, the monsters won't dare to eat me, coz I'd be an adult!"

And then I become an adult, and the monsters come after me. I'd be bewildered! I thought adults wouldn't have to worry about monsters. I thought monsters were afraid of adults. I thought when I become an adult, monsters didn't exist anymore. And now I find out, they're invincible! Gasp! Shock! Faint!

Don't you think?

You realize that it wasn't the imagination of your overactive brain when you were a child, you realize monsters are real, and being an adult won't save you from them. Nothing can save you from them. Wouldn't you have a nervous breakdown?

I would.

But fortunately for me, *real* monsters don't exist.

Or do they? =/

Just so we don't start CNY with a rant, here's a warm wish to all of you:

GONG XI FATT CAI!!

Have a very wonderful Chinese New Year!!
May you and your family have a better, healthier, happier, more prosperous, more loving, more successful year!
May we all forget and forgive all trespasses against us and may we all start this year anew with love and peace in our hearts.
=)

What's wrong with people nowadays anyway?! Why are they so negative and so insecure that they feel the need to put other people down all the time? It's like everytime you tell them something positive, they have to turn around and make it a negative thing. Bastards!

For example; last year when my brother got promoted, I went and told everyone, "Hey, guess what? My brother just got promoted!" So there I was, all psyched up and really happy for my brother, and then someone had to say pointedly, "That's great! So when are *you* gonna get promoted?"

Excuse me! We were both working the same account under his name, that's why he got promoted and I didn't, but that is so not the point! Even if I really was a no-good, useless person who would never get promoted, is this the response you would give to a friend? I mean, honestly, what the heck are they trying to say anyway? If I really was useless and you wanted me to buck up and work harder, is that any way to tell me?

More recently, when I showed the song that Lone and I wrote to some people, and I asked them, "So, how do you like it?" And their answer? "Well, the lyrics could've been better." Um...yeah, I know that. I mentioned that I didn't work as hard on the lyrics as I could have. And it's not that I can't take criticism when it's constructive, honest, and well-meaning, but when they criticise just for the sake of putting me down... Why?? Seriously?!

It's not a big deal, and it's not the worst criticism I've ever gotten. I mean, if all a person say is it could've been better, I'd consider myself lucky. But it's really not what they said, it's the way they said it. And it's the personal history I have with said person, they keep looking for faults in every simple, innocent, mundane thing I do! And you can actually hear the disappointment in their voice when they can't find anything bad to say about me! So this isn't the only case, but it's the easiest for me to illustrate here.

Still another example; Valentine's morning after... "Oh, guess what? My darling gave me (insert expensive gift here) and (another expensive gift) and (another expensive gift) and (another!) and (another still!)..." (Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little.) And then they ask, "So what did *your* bf give you for Valentine's?"

Obviously, at this point I was already a little annoyed, but I answered anyway.

"Books," I said.

"Books??!" Incredulous look. "He gave you *books* for Valentine's day? That's sooooo not romantic!"

Grrrr.....*smoke coming out of ears* It's romantic and meaningful to me! And books are a whole lot more valuable to me than a bunch of flowers that are going to die in a few days anyway, or diamonds that have absolutely no use at all except ruining clothes and injuring me(there's a story here that I may tell later)! But I wouldn't expect shallow bastards like them to understand that. So I just said, "Well, I wanted books, so I told him to get them for me."

"Ok...so where are the books?"

Why? Would you be able to read the letters written on them? Hmphh!

"They're not here yet."

"Huh? Valentine's over, and the books are still not here?"

"Yeah, we ordered them through Amazon, (you computer-illiterate moron) coz it's cheaper."

"Oh... *cheap*er."

Yes, *cheap*er. Jerk.

Did I mention that I hate the whole commercialism of Christmas? Well, that goes for Valentine's too! One Valentine's dinner out last year, and that's it for me. *My* darling and I spent Valentine's night creating a simple homecooked dinner together, and we had our Valentine's dinner at Hard Rock the Friday before. So we're cheap. Well, at least we're smarter than all those people who spend all their money on unnessary things like flowers and diamonds just keep their gf's insecurities at bay, and who probably have so much money to spend because they don't put any in their savings at all. Blek!

Do I sound bitter? =P

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with buying your gf gifts and flowers or whatever, if that's what she wants and you can afford it. But if they think that the world revolves around them getting flowers and gifts for Valentine's, and all hell breaks loose if they don't get any, then maybe you should think about getting a less materialistic and insecure gf.

And if you're a girl and you think that it's pathetic that my bf's giving me books, because I specifically asked him not to waste money on flowers which prices are jacked-up damn freaking high for Valentine's day, and use the money instead to buy something which I really want and gives me knowledge and makes me as *not you* as possible, well then, I feel sorry for you, because you obviously have a sad life that hasn't any meaning at all except for all the material goods surrounding you.

So lalala....

I'm going to enjoy reading my books when your flowers are already in the trash, and your diamond's doing nothing but looking pretty on your finger.

The story I said I was going to tell about diamonds, btw:

I've got two diamond rings, whatever karats, I don't know, I don't care, but they're small, coz I won't wear big ones. I don't like diamonds, and I don't like rings. My dad got me the first one, he practically forced it on me. I was at the jeweller with him looking for something for mom, and he saw a diamond ring he wanted me to have(as an effort to make me more *girly*). I told him, don't buy the ring, just give me how much it's worth and I'll go shopping for books instead.

Sighz... He said no. It's the diamond or nothing. =(

My world is crazy, btw, other fathers are so desperate to get their kids to read more books and spend less money on useless stuff, like diamonds!

Fine, a diamond is better than nothing, who knows, I might be able to sell it one day and buy my books after all. So he got me the diamond, and it spent the next few years wrecking a lot of my fragile clothes while I was putting them on. They always set diamonds jutting out of the rings, I don't know why, and I don't know how people with huge diamonds handle them.

But anyway, I got used to it and just went around with the ring on my finger everyday, until one day I realized that the diamond wasn't on the ring anymore! It got loose from the setting! And I didn't even realize it, I don't know how long I lost it before I noticed. Fine, whatever. I didn't care much for it anyway.

So that's money down the drain. Imagine if I had bought my books instead! I'd still have them, or at least the knowledge from them. Sighz...

The other diamond ring was a gift from an ex. I don't remember for what occasion, it might have been Valentine's. Anyway, it was sweet of him, but this ring did almost everything the last one did. Which is to say, nothing but ruin my clothes, except this one did worse. It actually, -this is true, I swear- took a whole chunk of my skin out of my finger one day when I was just going about my business. A whole chunk! And the chunk stuck to the ring and was still there after I did all my cursing and swearing at the agonizing pain!

There's still a red raw mark on my finger where the ring took a chunk out of it. So I'm giving up on diamonds, they're nothing but trouble. Trust me, books are the best thing anyone can give me. Better yet, give me the money and I'll get the books myself, coz I won't just read any book.

Sighz...maybe I'm just not meant to wear diamonds. I'll never be a girly girl. =P

Chinese New Year is almost here!! Yayy! It's gonna be fun, fun, fun!!

Well, except for the fact that there'll be lots to eat, hence, lots of temptation, meaning, I'll most probably put on a couple of pounds. ArrgghhHH!! Nooooo!!

I have to be in control! No pigging out!

....

God help me!!

In a couple of days, I'll be going back to my hometown and getting (forced) fed by my well-meaning grandmother with loads of fattening meats. Sighz...

Must. Resist. Must. Resist.

Anyways, I'll do my best to handle my tummy. You readers have only one thing to worry yourself over; make sure you're free on the 23rd after dinner, we'll be having an informal gathering at my place. Only thing is, there's a cover charge, you all have to lose money to me at the blackjack table! Muahahahah!!

Ok, I take it back, not all of you readers are invited. Blek! Don't come if I don't know you, you thick-faced reader! Only come if I've exchanged at least a couple of sentences with you that didn't include the phrase, "Bugger off!"

That being made clear, here are some disclaimers:

It's an informal gathering, there isn't going to be any catering, so make sure you eat before you come.

It's mostly my brother's friends and mine, not many...um, adults, and most of us will be making a *LOT* of noise playing cards or mahjong or whatever, so if you're not into these and only looking for conversation with other like-minded adults, well...um... you've really gotta like us rowdy youngsters, k!

If you're my friend, come!! BUT don't bring your whole posse with you if I don't know any one of them. Bfs/gfs are ok, of course, maybe a close friend to keep you company, but don't bring a whole gang!! Be courteous!

If you're planning to come, call me to let me know! If you don't know how to get to my place, call me and ask! If you want to bring me gifts, just come and bring them along! LOL! =P

So...that's about it. Friday, 23rd, after dinner probably about 8.30-9pm. Got it? Remember to call me to let me know you're coming!

Happy Valentine's Day to all my friends!
Whether you have someone to share it with or if you're spending the day in the wonderful company of yourself, have a great day!
May love be with you always!
I love you all! HuGz!! =)

I have some questions:

How many of you knew what you wanted to do with your life since you were a kid?
How many of you actually followed through with it?
How many of you still don't know what you want to do with your life?
How many of you are just doing what your parents wanted you to do with your life?

I see so many people going about their lives... From the moment they finish high school and stepped into college, they chose a course and finished it, and when they graduated, they got a job in the field which they studied for. And I think, they are so lucky to know what they want and have such a clear idea of where they wanna go.

And then I think again.

Some of these people went into college doing what their parents chose for them, and then they graduate and they become what their parents wanted them to be. Is this you?

Some others finish a specific degree course only to come out into the world doing something totally unrelated to what they studied. Is this you?

Some others still go about their college life, switching from one course to the next, not knowing what's the best path for themselves. And then come out into the world, still wondering what they want to do. Is this you?

This was me.

I never really felt bad about it, because deep inside I knew what I really wanted and who I really was. I was always moderately good in everything I did, and I always enjoyed everything I did, but I enjoyed all of it too much to give up on some of it to focus on one of it. Hence my difficulty in choosing just one thing to focus on and going through with it.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm in the minority or majority. I basically know what I want ultimately in life, but choosing the road to get there is a huge indecision for me. My goals are actually so abstract that I could chose anything and it would take me there, but the road I choose is crucial in determining if I have a enjoyable and safe journey, or a hard and exhausting one.

There are so many roads in front of me now, and everyday I make the choice to stay on the road I'm on now. It's fun and enjoyable, and it will last for a while, but there are so many forks on this road, and I wonder if I should get off the road, or just keep going. And I don't even know which exit is mine.

Don't get me wrong, I love what I'm doing now. Really, really love it. But I have to ask myself, is this where I see myself in five years time? Ten? Twenty? And if this is where I want to be in 20 years, am I willing to do what it takes to progress here? Am I willing to sacrifice all the other things in my life that I thought I wanted?

I know of many success stories of people aged 30, 40, 50 and above, who went all their lives doing something, only to realize it wasn't what they wanted, and then turning their lives upside down all of a sudden to pursue their dreams.

That's great. At least they found what they wanted after all. It's a whole lot better than so many other people who live and die never actually doing anything with their lives.

But I don't want to wait that long. I want to decide and plan now, and work accordingly to achieve all my goals. I've got the short term goals down, but I've been thinking of the long term goals, and I can't plan until I know where I want to be years from now.

I know this 'dilemma' is nothing a little thinking and analysing won't fix, so I know I gotta sit myself down and do a little thinking soon. But I just wondered, am I alone in this?

Am I the minority in not knowing what I want? Am I far behind all of my peers already? All of them who are so clear and so focused on what they want? Will I be able to catch up?

Hmm...=/

So my honey and I went to Hard Rock Cafe on Friday for an early V-day celebration. We're both into music and performance, so obviously Hard Rock was the place to go, for dinner and for the band.

Unfortunately, I'd forgotten to bring my camera, but the food was great, and very very filling. I ordered the Cobb salad, and it was *HUGE*. I barely ate half of it. Of course, if I hadn't had so much of the appetizer I might've been able to finish more of the salad, but that's ok. We were planning to have a nice delicious dessert after our meal but we were just too stuffed to eat any more.

The band wasn't starting until 11pm, so we sat and chatted awhile, and allowed our stomachs to settle. =P

We moved to the side tables to get a better view of the band, right before they were about to start. We got good seats, just right beside the stage, which meant having the ultimate listening and watching experience. =)

The band was great. Abso-freaking-lutely great! Fantabulous! Awesome! Rocking! Terrific! Wow!

How can I even describe them? There were 4 musicians, and 3 vocalists. The musicians consisted of a guitarist, a keyboardist, a bassist, and a drummer. The bassist was really impressive, you should've seen the way his fingers flew. The drummer was awesome too, ba-da-boom! The keyboardist and the guitarist were ok, they were too far on the other side for me to really look at them.

The 3 vocalists consisted of 2 male vocals, and 1 female. They were great together! It was obvious that one of the male vocals was the band leader and the musical genius. From the moment they sang the first song, which was the female singer's song btw, he sang the backup vocals for that one, and I could see immediately that he was the best vocalist.

All 3 vocalists were great, and each had their own niche, but the way they worked together...you could just see how much work and effort they put into it. Especially when they sang Fergielicious. They actually made me enjoy a song that I normally considered annoying. I am so impressed by their group dynamic, their chemistry...

Wow! *shakes head*

When I grow up, I wanna be just like them! =P

Ok, this is so going to sound like I'm boasting, but um...yeah, I am. =P

Have you ever had someone write a song for you? Or about you? Or inspired by you? Or something related to you?

If you have, congratulations! Not many people have this privilege. =)

I'm not talking about the really lousy versions of songs with names that somebody sang to you, replacing that name for yours, I'm talking about an originally written song, with original lyrics and melody, that actually sounds good!

Now as a passable songwriter, I've written quite a few songs about/inspired by/for some people(not all good things), but not everyone in my life has affected me deeply enough for me to bother writing a song about/inpired by/for them. Hence the reason I said, it's a privilege if someone has written a song for you. Unfortunately, no one has ever written a song for me.... =(

Until now... =D

And guess what? It's not one song, it's two songs! I've got two songs! Two!! Two really great songs!! Written for me! By my honey....*touched*

=~)

They're in Chinese, by the way, so if you can read Chinese, go and read the lyrics here and here.

I'm so touched, and happy! My ultimate achievement in life: have such a deep impact on someone else's life that they write a song about me. LOL!

I can die happy now. =P

Love you, honey!

I finally updated my bookblog! After three months of problems with the internet, busy end-of-year festivities, hectic new work-schedule and all that, I finally sat down and reviewed the last seven books I've read. Go visit my bookblog to read about them, I'm not going to write another post about them here! LOL!

Here's the direct link to the post!

I'm happy! =D As if it's such an accomplishment! *grin*

Ok, readers, what's the deal with freckles?

Girls, do you like them? Do you hate them?

Guys, do you like girls with them? Are you turned off by them?

I just had a facial today, and my beautician was exclaiming, 'Wah...you got so many freckles already', like it's a bad thing.

I told her, 'But I like freckles!' and she was shocked! She kept saying throughout my facial, that it was weird that I liked freckles; everyone else wanted to get rid of their freckles, and here I was, saying that I liked them.

She's definitely not the only one who's given me this reaction towards freckles. So many other people I've known who were in the beauty industry have criticized freckles, other beauticians have tried to sell me products which were supposed to get rid of freckles, still more people have advised me to stay out of the sun so I wouldn't get freckles. And all of them are surprised when I tell them I like freckles.

And seriously, I do like freckles. I don't think my freckles are obvious, and there aren't many of them anyway, but I never saw them as a blemish problem or anything. I've always thought freckles were cute and endearing, and I've always liked freckles when I see it on other people, when some of them had more obvious freckles than mine.

It's not that I like them to the point that I would purposely go under the sun and get more freckles or whatever, but I see them as something that adds personality and character to a person's face. I think they're pretty!

What's wrong with freckles, honestly?

Come on, readers, tell me... do you like them or do you hate them? And if you hate them, why?? Please tell me I'm not the only one who likes them. =/

How do you deal with 'crazy' people?

You know, the ones who think that they're always right no matter what you say to them or how you explain things to them?

The ones who, when you say one thing to them, they assume something else because their brains have already decided what they want you to say? And this applies to things that you do too, like you would do something, and their initial reaction is that whatever you did was wrong, even if it wasn't, simply because they cannot imagine that you could do something right?

They would come up with all sorts of ideas about you, which they think is right, but is nowhere near the truth. No matter what you said, no matter what you did, even if you agreed with everything they said, just coz you didn't want to make waves... they would still have the idea stuck into their heads that there was something wrong with you.

They'd say you're unreasonable, selfish, and always want things your way... but in actual fact, it's them who always want things their way. And if you tried talking to them, to defend yourself against those false accusations or to explain that maybe they misunderstood where you were coming from, they'd say that you were giving excuses or never accepting 'advice' to improve yourself.

I honestly don't understand people like that, and these people really scare me. If you agree with them, they get reinforcement that they're right, if you don't agree with them, they think that you're the kind of person who never admits your mistakes. You really can't win with these people.

So what do you do with them? Seriously!

I mean, obviously I know I'm not perfect, but I can't be wrong *all* the time, and obviously I know my own intentions whenever I'm doing something or other, I'm sure I know myself better than these people know me. But even assuming that I'm seriously deluded, even assuming that maybe I'm in denial and I think I'm always right(which I don't, btw =P), how about when they *obviously* make things up about you, at that moment, in front of you and some others, and it's a blatant lie and they're caught in it, they still won't admit they're wrong!

And they have the audacity to say that *you* are in serious denial, that *you* are deluded, that *you* never listen to other people's advice. Obviously they are the ones in denial, they are deluded and they never listen to other people telling them that.

I really don't get it. I try to avoid these people as much as I can, but sometimes they're just there and you can't avoid them... And sometimes they push themselves into your lives and busybody their way into your business...

I don't want any problems from them... I just want to get on with my life, and not bother what they do with theirs anymore. It used to be I was concerned about their attitude/perception/whatever, and I wanted to tell them where they might be deluded and how I felt about what they're doing to the people around them. But the more I try to help, the more trouble I get.

So you know... I just decided, you can live your life, say what you want about me, think what you want about me... I know the truth.

And even if I didn't know the truth, if I need advice, if I need help, you can be sure I won't come to you. I'd go to someone reasonable and sane.

I'm done wanting to help you. I'm done caring about you. I'm done with you.

If and when you decide to wake up, and apologize for all the terrible injustice of your thoughts and actions towards me, I'll listen. But until then, I'm done. Leave me alone.

You're the bestest friend a girl could have!

Someone to share lots of laughter and nonsense with, someone to eat and be merry with, someone talk to and share my troubles with, you're the best!

I don't know what I would've done without you for the last couple of years.

HuGz!

Here's to many more years of friendship!

Love ya, babes! =D

Study on friendship among women...

I love my girlfriends. =D

My puppy Baby hasn't been feeling well for the last week. She'd been acting weird and anxious, which of course made *us* anxious. She had been hiding in corners in the house, carrying her squeaky toy everywhere she went, and getting fidgety when the toy was out of her sight. She wasn't as hyper as she usually was, and didn't rush to let us pet her whenever we called, which is highly unusual because she was the most 'manja' dog, and always always wanted attention.

I suspected that she may be pregnant, so I went online to check the symptoms and it seemed that signs of pregnancy were 'nesting' behaviour and 'adopting a toy', which Baby certainly had, hiding in particular corners with her toy and not wanting to come out.

However, I did note that it could be just false pregnancy, which wasn't uncommon, and since Baby wasn't eating much, it was the more likely case.

I took her to the vet today for a check up, to see if she was pregnant and/or sick, since she was getting very thin after not eating much for the last couple of days. She was actually going to get spayed this month, but if she's pregnant obviously I couldn't do that right now.

I was a little confused as to how I felt about her being pregnant, or not. On the one hand, I loved little puppies, and I was sure Baby's babies would be beautiful and have great personalities, and I know a couple of friends who might want Baby's pups too. On the other hand, if Baby has too many pups, I didn't know if I could find homes for all of them, or if I'd even be able to let them go, and it would give me a whole lot more work to care for them which I don't have the time for right now. So I kinda wanted puppies, but I kinda didn't want them either. Confused, huh.

Well, it's a moot point anyway, coz she's not pregnant. It was just a hormonal imbalance thing, and the vet gave me some antibiotics to help clear up her uterus and to get her appetite back up. I'm a little relieved that she's not pregnant, and kinda disappointed at the same time. LOL! Can't make up my mind!

But anyway, as long as Baby gets better and gets back to her normal self in a couple of days, I'm happy. She's the most beautiful little thing in the world, who's ridiculously camera-shy, so I don't have many good pix of her, she's always turning away as I'm taking the pic.

Anyone has any idea how to cure her of that? =P