Thursday, October 26, 2006

Ask and you shall receive

I bought some belated birthday presents for myself today. =D I'm soooo happy! I got myself SIX new books!!

  1. Following the Wrong God Home - Catherine Lim
  2. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
  3. Blink - Malcolm Gladwell
  4. The World is Flat - Thomas L. Friedman
  5. Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner
  6. The Closers - Ben Gay III

I'm still in the middle of A Feast for Crows, but I made the mistake of going to Borders today, 'just for browsing'. Sighz...since when could I go into a bookstore and come out empty handed?

Note to self: Never ever *ever* go into a bookstore unless I have money to splurge! LOL!

On a whole other topic, I have found the secret to being happy! You wanna know what it is? =D



About a month ago, my managers showed us a video entitled 'The Secret'. It's a really good show which I think everyone should watch, but the bottom line is: You always *always* get what you ask for.

The law of attraction says that, whatever you think of, will manifest. Whatever you wish for, will come true. Whatever you want, you'll have.

It's true! And don't you skeptics say it's not so simple as that! We believers always get what we want, because we believe in it, therefore we get what we want. Skeptics don't believe, therefore they manifest their disbelief and what they want is for the 'secret' not to come true for them, and hence, they too, get what they want!

But anyway, that's a debate for another time. If you want to know more about 'The Secret', click here.

In the meantime, let's get back on topic!

As I was saying, the secret to happiness, is to DEMAND for what you want! To be more specific; if you want to be happy in relationships, you have to be more demanding!

Now this topic isn't just coming out of nowhere, I'm sure many of you have been to at least one wedding this October. It's a crazy month for weddings, and I won't believe you if you say you don't know anyone who's gotten married this month. And of course, with all the wedding bells ringing our ears deaf, we obviously can't help thinking about our own forlorn love life, can we? =P

'I wonder if I'll ever find the one.'

'Oh, they look so happy. Will I be as happy with (insert name of significant other here)?'

'If only (significant other) loves me as much as he obviously loves her...'

And so on...

I have been criticized a lot, by men and women alike, for being so ultra demanding of my significant other. They say I demand too much, there's no such men out there, I should be more understanding, I'm too selfish, I expect too much from men...etc.

Just to give you a better understanding of my so-called 'unreasonable demands', let me give you 'a few' examples. Perhaps one or two isn't 'unreasonable', they're probably what every girl wants. But it's highly unreasonable to expect my man to have *everything* I want, isn't it? =P I would love my man to:

  1. Put me first. I want to be his number one priority. Career is important, I don't deny that, but if I need him urgently, he will come to me without hesitating.
  2. Be reliable. If he promises me something, whatever it is, he will deliver it. He will never leave me waiting or wondering where he is or what he's doing. If he can't deliver, no matter the reason, he will let me know so that I won't worry needlessly.
  3. Be reasonable. I know it's impossible for couples not to have disagreements once in a while, but he will never hit me below the belt, and he will always discuss our problems logically and reasonably.
  4. Never hurt me. Once in a while, I may get hurt although he didn't mean to hurt me, but he will always comfort me as soon as he sees my tears or my frown. And he will make me feel better within minutes.
  5. Never leave me lost and alone. So many couples spend days not speaking to one another after an argument. My man will never do that, he sets things right with me as soon as anything happens, and I will never have to sit beside the phone, in tears, hoping that he will call, and wondering whether he's thinking of me.
  6. Let me have my freedom. He won't sit down and sulk if I choose to go out with the girls and leave him alone once in a while. He'll have so much to do on his own, and he's perfectly capable to be without me for a few hours. We'll have such a secure relationship that he'll never worry about me being away from him, and I'll never worry about him being away from me.
  7. Be sensible. He can have his fun, but he'll never drink too much, or let his friends influence him into doing things that he shouldn't be doing. He'll never go out too late if he has to work the next morning, he's driven, and focused, and he knows exactly what is right and what is wrong.
  8. Be mature. He's a *man* and not a *boy* who still wants to play with his toys and won't do his homework. There's a time and place for everything. I have nothing against men who still play PS2, but in small doses please. My man won't spend the whole frigging day doing nothing but staring at the idiot box. Instead, he'll...
  9. READ. He knows life is an endless journey of improvement, getting better and learning more. He reads because he knows that's one of the best habits to cultivate, he knows he'll learn priceless lessons, he knows he'll be exposed to more thoughts and ideas. And he knows I love reading too. =D
  10. Take an interest in my interests. I've always been the kind of person who enjoys many things, and I try to learn about my man's interests too, so that I can share that part of his life. Because my man loves me so much and wants me to share my life with him, he takes up some of my interests too.
  11. Be my driver. I don't like to drive, and I don't believe in gender equality. It's dangerous for girls out there, and my man worries about me. He doesn't want anything bad to happen to me, so he drives me whenever he can.
  12. Treat me as the love of his life, not as a maid. He respects me. He doesn't expect me to pick up after him, he doesn't expect me to do all the housework, he shares responsibilities with me. He *appreciates* everything I do for him and doesn't see my efforts as me doing what a good gf should do.
  13. Knows what I want, and gives it to me. He knows exactly what makes me happy, and he goes all out to do it for me. He knows when to hold me, he knows when to comfort me, he knows when I need him. He observes my reactions to food, books, whatever... and then he goes the extra mile to make sure I get them.
  14. Surprise me. He gives me surprises when I least expect them. In fact, he gives me at least *three* surprises on my birthday. With the things I love, as mentioned above. =D
  15. Wait for me. He waits months for me to decide if he's the one I want to be with. Why not? I waited years for him to appear. And the thought of looking elsewhere never even occurs to him, because he doesn't want just any girl. He wants me.
  16. Make me feel special. I'm the one for him. The only one. Even if I didn't want him, he still waits patiently for me to realize that no one will love me as much as he does. He doesn't give up on me because he knows that he will never love anyone as much as he loves me.
  17. Be confident. He knows that I will never find anyone better than him. He knows he's the one because he loves me and he will do anything to make me happy. He knows that I could search all over the world for a better guy and never find one better than him. He knows we are made for each other. He knows he is what I've been looking for.

And so much more. I'm serious. I have a lot more 'demands'!

And you know what, I do doubt myself sometimes. I wonder if maybe they're right, maybe I am too demanding, maybe I should lower my standards, maybe I'm waiting for a man that doesn't exist.

I've seen so many girls out there who compromise so much for their bfs. The men cheat, and they cry and cry and cry, but in the end, they forgive their men. And guess what, they cheat again.

The men treat them bad, and they take it. They allow their men to treat them like maids, to take advantage of them, to put them down, to treat them as a spare tire. Hello?! Grow some spines, girls! Men treat you bad because you allow them to! They become jerks because you are a spineless wimp! They don't respect you because you don't respect yourself!

I would *never* let a man degrade me like that! NEVER!

But still, I have to admit, my standards are still a whole damn lot higher than the average girl nowadays. Partly because no matter what people say, no matter how much people talk about gender equality, it will never happen. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't support gender equality, it's just that I face the truth which everyone tries to deny. We will never be equal.

Hence, I expect my man to be my driver. I expect him to pay for me when we go out. I expect him to contribute a higher percentage to our household income. I expect him to work harder in the corporate world... etc. I'm not saying I want to be a sit-at-home, 'goyang-kaki', mahjong-playing wife. I'm working equally as hard, but I'd be the one taking care of the kids most of the time, wouldn't I? I'd be cleaning the house, wouldn't I? I'd be cooking his meals, wouldn't I?

Like I said, no such thing as gender equality. I'm not complaining. I'm old-fashioned, and this is what I want. I want to be a *mother* to my kids, and a wife to my husband. None of those modern corporate woman boss ambitions for me.

Everyone else are welcome to their own wants and desires. These are mine. And they're not unreasonable. After so many tears and unhappiness with guys who weren't man enough for me... I finally realized that, the man I want, exists.

Yes! He exists! And he has everything that I listed above and more! =D

So...the moral of this long story is, *Ask, and you shall receive!* The universe will give you what you want.

My man is no Brad Pitt or Bill Gates, but he gives me so much love and happiness like you wouldn't believe! He makes me feel special, he knows what I want, he puts me first, he goes the extra mile for me, he takes interest in my interests, he respects me, he's always there for me, he surprises me..... HE LOVES ME AND HE MAKES ME HAPPY!

Yup, like he said, I could search the whole wide world, but I couldn't find a better man than him. This post is dedicated to him, for making me the luckiest girl on earth. =D