Hey everyone! Lone and I have decided to move in together!

To a new blog address! (ahem...=P)

Here's the new url: http://bettynlone.blogspot.com

It'll probably take me a little while to move my stuff there, (all my links and stuff on the sidebar....) and I've been exhaustingly busy the last couple of days, but we'll get settled in soon. =)

I've realized that I don't always update here regularly, and pix are posted up very slowly because the camera is always with Lone. So we decided that if we shared a blog, he could post up the pix, and I could write whatever I wanted. LOL! And it would be a whole lot easier to maintain one blog together than two.

So yeah, head on to our new blog: http://bettynlone.blogspot.com and update your links! See you there!

Remember the 'secret' I told you about?

We finally finished it! Wooo hooo!!




Listen to it and tell me what you think! =D And if you like it, spread it around and tell your friends to tell us what they think! Ok, even if you didn't like it, please tell us too, so we can improve.

Like I said before, it's not really a secret, it's just that we wanted to surprise everyone with what we've learned about making our own recording, and of course, *ahem*, our musical skills as well. LOL!

I know the sound isn't really that great, but honestly we did the best we could with the equipment we had. We used a cheap, non-condenser mic, a simple recording software, without even a sound card, which I think we're gonna have to get after this...

So anyway, we did the best we could with the sound and the mixing, but I think the actual music itself is really, really good! =) I'm proud of us, because I really like our arrangement. And I'm especially proud of Lone, coz he did all the music himself, the drums, the bass, the many guitar layers, and he did the mixing really well considering the equipment we have. And trust me, of all the things we had to do, the mixing was the hardest! And part of the reason why we took so much time to do this one song too, because we kept having to re-do some parts becoz of the way the sounds turned out.

I, on the other hand, did all the vocals, the main and a few layers of backup vocals. And *ahem*... if I didn't sound good, I blame it on the mic! LOL!

Ok ok! The truth is, I'm surprised at how different it is singing on a recording and singing live, and how much harder in fact. And as I've said before, I'm no Christina or Mariah, so please do forgive my not-so-good singing, but seriously, the mic does play an important part in the vocal sound quality!

But hey, this is just for now anyway, and it's not like we're recording a CD or anything, this is just to get our music 'on tape', and maybe later when we can afford all the ridiculously expensive but extremely high-quality equipment, we'll record it again. And hopefully by then, I will have improve a lot more on my singing, and then *everything* will sound really good. =D

So tell me what you think!

P.S. Btw, if you're wondering how we got the name Space Blaze, Lone and I decided that we would each think of one word and combine them. We each have personal attachments to our words, and they sorta go together well, don't you think, with their rhyming sounds. =D

I haven't blogged in a while, but there's a perfectly good reason for that. =)

Redemption is BACK!

And BETTER than EVER!

And um... we've been spending a lot of time with them. =) Which means really late nights and sleeping at dawn and waking up after noon.

Not healthy for me, I know, but we don't do it *that* often.... sort of.

Anywayyyy..... Redemption is back! And better than ever! Seriously! They have really improved since the last time we saw them perform, which was more than a year ago.

So if anyone is interested in listening to really good live music and having lots of fun, make sure you head over to Hard Rock Cafe this August. Ok?? We'll probably be there more often than not. =D

We've gotten lots of pictures, but as usual, they're with Lone, so you'll have to wait for them. We also celebrated Charmin's birthday last Saturday in Hard Rock, so you'll see those pictures too. And Ee Won and Jeremy's marriage registration was on Monday, so you'll see those pictures as well!

Did I mention that I'm so thrilled for the both of them?! They make a really great couple and are so soooo sweet. Ee Won has one of the most charming personalities I know! And Jeremy is great fun and really good to her. *Envy*

Ok, not really, coz Lone is really great to me too. =)

Actually, I feel that us girls have been really lucky, because we've got great guys who are really, really wonderful to us, care about us, love us a lot, and give us everything we want and need... We hardly ever complain about them, or if we do it's just for fun, and the best thing is, there's no DRAMA! =P No screaming matches, no third parties, no crying all night, no drama!

But there's so much excitement! Wedding plans, and fun nights out, places to go, and people to meet, wonderful and interesting conversation, games and laughter. So much fun! And no drama!

This is the life! And I am so extremely happy and grateful that Lone loves me. =D

Anyway, EW and Jeremy's wedding is this October. So thrilled, so thrilled!

I was just reading a book about PR, and there was a section about raising the bar; improving yourself and becoming better and better as you go.

People who've talked to me about this before knows what I always say. It doesn't matter if you're 'not as good' as your competitor or your peers or whoever when you start off, as long as you have the attitude of improvement.

What I mean is, you could be the last in your class, and everyone could be well ahead of you, but if they stay where they are, while you keep on moving forward, pretty soon, you'd be well ahead of them!

Life isn't stagnant, it keeps moving, everything in life is progressing, and when it comes to technology and science and those kinda things, we all know it because it can be so clearly seen. But it also applies to personal development, and the problem with most people is that they don't realize this.

How many people you know never grow personally, even as a child to an adult? You see the difference in them as they become less childish and more serious, but that doesn't mean they've grown up. In fact, it probably means they're more immature than ever.

There's a difference between being childish and immature, by the way. You can be childish and yet very mature, and being serious doesn't make you a mature person. I personally, will never stop being childish, because OMG, life is fun! As it should be. =D

Anyway, I digress again.

As I was saying: personal progress, raising the bar, being better than you were before...

Nobody's perfect, and nobody could ever be perfect, and if that's the case, then that means that we can always improve. Everyday, all the time. I've said this before also, that my own personal goal is to be better today than I was yesterday, and be better tomorrow than I am today. It doesn't matter how little I improve, or in whatever department or aspect of my life, as long as I am better than before.

And with this attitude, even if I compare myself with millionaires my age, I know eventually I'll catch up to them, unless of course, they improve too. =)

As I've said, I don't really compare much, just sometimes it's necessary to compare to know where you are, but I never let it get me down if I think I'm not doing as well as others, because I know for a fact, that I will get better.

Some people reach a certain level and they believe they're so good that it's not necessary to improve anymore, some people don't even know it's possible to improve. So they stagnate, and fall behind when others move ahead, but they still believe they're the best because they've fostered their beliefs for so long and it's hard to accept anything else.

I know a couple of people like that. People whom I used to respect, and whom I learned so much from because they *were* the best. Years ago, they were my teachers, my masters, my gurus, my sifus. But I've continued growing, and they've stopped, and as a result they've actually moved backward. So the student has become better than the teacher. But the problem with the teacher is that they are no longer teachers but they can't accept the fact because they've been the teachers for so long, it's hard not to teach anymore.

My problem with them is that I wouldn't mind them continuing to teach, if they had something new to teach, but they don't, and they don't want to improve either, while the world around them is improving.

Imagine that you're using the latest, newest, highest technology computer, and the manual you got with it is for those old computers we used to use 10 years ago. Imagine if the technician insisted that you learn to use your new computer with the old manual.

Things change, the world is moving forward, you need to change and move forward with it, or else you're going to be left behind.

So... raise the bar, keep on growing, keep learning, keep improving yourself, it's a never-ending lifelong quest.

It's not easy trying to keep up with everything, and yet I still insist on doing so.

I could make life easier for myself by giving up on certain things, but I won't, because some things I'm just not willing to give up on.

Of course, sometimes things get backed up, and right now at the moment I have so many things in the pipeline just waiting to be done, and all I can do is take one thing at a time and finish one task at a time.

I think I'm doing pretty well, in fact. As well as can be, considering everything. =)

Lone and I have decided on next year December for our wedding, but we haven't found a venue yet. We don't want hotels or Chinese restaurants. Anyone has any suggestions for us?

Lone and I went for MNY again last weekend. The best thing about it is that once you've participated once, it's free for you to go to again and again, for life, and in anywhere in the world whenever they hold MNY seminars.

As the name says, very literally, it's all about money, and you. It's a three and a half day (full days! which can be tiring but really rewarding in the end) course, where they help you learn more about money and you. Key here being that they *help* YOU learn. They don't teach you, they don't tell you, they just put you in situations and let you figure it out for yourself. And then, they review what you've learned with you.

I think it's a great way to help people learn, because the truth is people remember and understand better when they're involved in their own learning process, instead of just listening to the teacher and accepting (or rejecting) what the teacher says.

So anyway they teach you about money, how to smart with money and business, yada, yada, yada... and I learned some really, really, good lessons from there. And every time I go back for review, I get more distinctions, and also it's a great reminder to me to check if I'm going on the right track.

But I believe, and what everyone else is saying, the most impacting thing you learn in MNY, is all about YOU. As in, you, yourself, your thoughts, your beliefs, your attitude, your behavior....etc.

We all know that we all aren't perfect human beings, and the sad thing is, we know, and we ignore that fact. We don't bother spending time thinking about ourselves, improving ourselves, nourishing ourselves, helping ourselves grow.... and instead, most of us spend a LOT of our time thinking about our career, how to improve our income, growing our business. Or we think about anything as long as we don't have to face the ugly truth about ourselves.

Well, admit it, a lot of us don't know anything about ourselves. And a lot of us don't want to.

This is why I enjoy going to MNY, I meet people there who are not afraid to be honest about themselves, I meet people there who know who they are, who understand themselves, who love themselves, and in extension, they love and understand others.

Ok, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that *everyone* who goes for MNY is like that, because for every 'good' person you meet, there is someone else who is only there to prospect, or to impose, or who are too stubborn or too afraid to learn. Not that there's anything wrong with prospecting or whatever, that's half the reason people attend MNY after all. But there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it. We have all met pushy salespeople who don't see us as people but only as dollar signs, who recite all their information at us as if we know what the heck their talking about, and who don't even care that we're not interested.

However, out of every 100 people there, you do get to meet a few really, really, great people. The key is quality, not quantity. Of course, you could introduce yourself to everyone and try to talk to everyone, but you don't build relationships that way. In most social settings where you get to know people for the first time, you make many acquaintances, but only a few actually become friends.

That's how it's like in MNY. The setting there is in such a way that although you've only met that one particular person that day, you're talking as if you've been friends since childhood.

I like making friends. Because friends allow you to go deeper. Friends talk about everything, friends are not afraid of opening up and being vulnerable, friends are not afraid of you judging them or vice versa, friends like you for who you are and not who they want you to be. I love friends.

Acquaintances, on the other hand... Well, I'm incapable of small talk. I don't care about the weather, I don't know anything about the latest fashions, or celebrity gossip, I don't particularly like talking about politics (although it does concern me), and I don't know much about sports.

Of course, I'm generalizing here, because although I don't know anything about any of these topics, some really good friends of mine love talking about them. But as long as they do all the talking and allow me to just listen and don't expect me to come up with an intelligent reply when it comes to these topics, I'm fine. And they're fine too, because they know me, and they allow me to talk about things that they know nothing about either.

But you see, our friendship wasn't built on these topics, it was built on much more solid ground, fed with much love and care. I liken it to building a cozy home, a solid house on a solid foundation, with quality building materials. And when the house is built, you can add all sorts of furniture and decorations in it, even when all the furniture don't match and the deco is all last season. It becomes a warm place, with a lot of of uniqueness and character, and that's what friendship is.

Now, if you tried throwing all sorts of different furniture and deco out in the middle of nowhere, exposed in the sun, wind, and rain, with no home to put them in and no warmth to hold them. Well, that's not a friendship, that's just a lot of furniture out in the dust.

You know what I mean.

Actually, I guess I couldn't tell you what I've been busy doing the last week even if I hadn't been exhausted.

I want to, I really, really, want to. But I won't. =P

Because we've been working on that 'secret' project that I've talked about. =)

Ok, again, it's not really a secret but I'd just like it to be a surprise when we finally present it. And it's not like it's a really big thing or anything either, it's just a special project Lone and I have been working on, and it's such a small thing that you'd all probably wonder why it's taking us so long to finish it, but it's really much harder than it looks!

I'm really anxious and excited to show all of you, but we're not going to rush it just because we're over-eager to show it off. It's important for us to make it perfect, and when it is, then, and only then, will I present it here.

I gotta be patient and so must everyone else. =)

I've been reeeeaaaallly busy these last couple of days, and I would tell you about it, except I'm really too exhausted at the moment, so I'll tell you later k. =P

Sleepy, tired.....zzzzzZZZzzzz

Not many comments on my last post, I guess it was kinda long and confusing to read, but I was hoping for more feedback about it.

Anyway, nothing much happening lately, except that Lone and I are working on a *secret* project. =) Ok, it's not really secret, and I'll definitely share once we're done, but I'd like it to be a surprise. We're working on it! I promise to share as soon as we're done!

Another exciting thing happening soon, Redemption is going to be back in Hard Rock, KL, in August! That's next month! How fast time flies! I can't wait to see Bien, and Raul, and Alex again! Too bad Paula and Teody aren't with them anymore, and I'm not sure about Cris either...

Well, anyway, this means that we'll be spending most of August and September in Hard Rock, I can so see money on wings flying away from me now. LOL!

So if anyone wants to join us, and maybe volunteer to let their money do the flying for us instead, let me know. =)

One of the things I love about Lone is that we can have so many great conversations together.

Yesterday, we went to visit one of Lone's students, a Swedish man, and we started talking about the differences in Malaysian culture (and sub-cultures of the different races/religions/etc) and Swedish culture.

This man has been working here in Malaysia for the past couple of years, before his company will be sending him to yet another country to work for a while. He holds one of the top managerial positions in the company now in Malaysia, and he mentioned how flummoxed he was when he first started managing Malaysians.

In Swedish culture, it's common and even encouraged, that the employees give honest and sometimes negative feedback to their bosses. The people are more willing to share their opinions, which as Hans (the Swede) says, is a good thing, because you get honest feedback and that's one of the best ways to improve.

Part of it is because of the 'lifestyle' there; there is a very, very strong job security in place in Sweden. Employers cannot, by law, fire any employees there,(there may be some caveats which we didn't go into details about...) and the only time they can fire anyone is if they can prove that they are doing it to downsize the company. And if they are doing it to downsize the company, they can't even choose who they want to fire. The person who gets fired, is always the newest employee. It doesn't matter if you're more skilled or hardworking or whatever, if you're the newest one, you get fired.

The good thing, of course, is that it breeds a company loyalty, in that the longer you stay with a company, the more protected you are. In fact, personally, I believe this is a great policy all around, for many reasons. But at the same time, I also know it will not work for us.

It works for them, because of the details in their upbringing and their culture and all the little things that make them who they are as a culture, which makes them not take advantage or abuse a system like this.

It will not work for us, because our culture and the many little details of our own upbringing and societal conditioning, has made us into a different type of people. One that learns that it's better to be kiasu. And I believe, a system like that will not work because it will definitely be misused by us.

Anyway, it got me thinking further, you know. And later, when Lone and I went for supper, we started discussing about cultural differences and how interesting it was.

We started pin-pointing on the Malaysian culture, and the Chinese sub-culture in particular.

I said that one of the biggest problems with some of the Malaysian Chinese in our generation is that they are majorly confused. Majorly, inescapably, extremely, confused.

Why?

Because we are conditioned by our parents, by our friends, the people around us, that we have to be a certain way.

And then we are taught, in our colleges, in the books we read and the movies we watch, that we have to be a different way.

More specifically, our Chinese backgrounds and culture which is so deeply ingrained into us, have us living in total contradiction with the Western teachings that we consciously think is a 'better' way to live.

An example is that in Chinese culture, we are brought up to be humble and 'put ourselves down', it is a very, very old culture that most of us don't do anymore in its original form, but which we still do in a watered-down form.

If someone compliments you and say, "You have a very intelligent son." It is polite and expected of you to say, "No, my son is very stupid." Of course, now we don't do that anymore, but it is so deeply ingrained into our subconscious, that we still sometimes find ourselves unable to just completely accept the compliment with grace and pride. We have to say something like, "No la, your son is smarter," or "No la, my son still need to improve more."

It's also partly our fear of the 'compliment-er's' perception. If we did in fact, replied with something like, "Yes, of course my son is smart, we are so proud of him," we worry that the person may think we are showing off, that we are prideful, or whatever they want to think.

Personally, I'm one of those people who don't really have much of a humble bone in my body, not necessarily a good thing, and I would think nothing of accepting a compliment with a simple "Thank you" and a very big smile. Which, by the way, is what most of us are consciously taught that we should do, but which most of us seldom actually do. But I understand the reason that we mostly don't do it too, because the reaction we get is quite negative.

Perhaps the best example I can give, and the reason I gave up on studying Psychology in college, is this...

Ok, picture this, when you're a child and in school, maybe you have some brothers or sisters, maybe you have some other friends. Your parents are always telling you to study hard, study hard, study hard. They want you to have good results, but they are *always* comparing! Always!

How come your results are not as good as your brother's? How come your friend got 9A's and you only have 5? How come your math is so poor when your sister is a genius at math? And on and on and on....

So we learn to always compare ourselves with others. And of course, you *never* win when you do, because there will always be someone better than you in something! Not everyone will be better than you in everything, of course. It's just one particular person will be better than you in this, and another will be better than you in that, and that's perfectly normal, coz you would be better than them in certain things too.

But our parents have ingrained this comparing thing into us so badly that we always feel insecure and a lack of confidence.

So we go to college, and we(I) study Psychology, and the lecturer tells us that we must be confident, confident, confident! We must believe in ourselves! We must trust ourselves! We must whatever! The point is, they tell us to be confident.

Frankly, I've never lacked confidence. My parents never did that comparing thing with me, so I never really got the concept of comparing yourself against others.

That's not to say that I'm like, completely egotistical or whatever. I do have my own insecurities sometimes, and every once in a while, I do compare, but I always do it with a certain perspective.

I mean, I *know* perfectly well, that I'm definitely not the best in everything I do, and there are always people better than me, but that doesn't mean I'm a good-for-nothing either, coz I do what I do best, with all the things that I have!

For example, I love singing and I think I'm pretty decent, but I will never be a Mariah Carey or an Alicia Keys, but that sure doesn't mean I should stop singing.

And I think I'm pretty good-looking, I mean, I'm not horrible looking, but I'm also one of those people who don't really spend a lot of time on maintaining her looks. I'm chubby in certain places, I have really dry skin, I can't be bothered to shave my legs or tweeze my eyebrows, I don't even like shopping for clothes that might make me look better, and I'm too lazy to spend even 5 minutes putting lotion for my dry skin. So yeah, I do sometimes feel insecure when I stand next to a barbie doll, but I also know I'm good at certain things that she probably wouldn't have a clue at.

So you see, I believe in myself. I have confidence in myself. I don't really compare, much. I just do what I do, and try to improve myself the best that I can. I have never had the mindset of 'being better than the other person', but I always try to live by 'being better than what I used to be'.

So anyway, when I went to college, and the Psychology lecturer/counselor was preaching to the students with low confidence to be confident, I thought, "Great! Teaching people to be confident is a great, great, thing!"

Until I had my one-to-one sessions with the counselor and realize how hypocritical it all was.

Students are encouraged to go to the counselor every once in a while, to 'ground' themselves, or to get support or when they're feeling down, or whatever.

So I went for mine, and I guess he might have been really used to low confident students going to him, and replying with 'Be confident! Believe in yourself!" because when he started talking about confidence, and I said, "Oh, I have no problem with confidence...." intending to talk about other areas where I wanted his help instead, he snapped at me and said, "Then why are you here for?"

Inside I was shocked! But outside I smoothed it over by ignoring his snappish tone and going ahead to talk about the other issues.

I was really disappointed though. Up until then, he had seem like a really great counselor who was always patient with students' problems and I always agreed with the things he taught us, consciously. Even after that incident, when I talked about other problems other than with confidence, he would very patiently help me. I still think he was a great counselor, but I just feel like, our conscious learning, and our subconscious conditioning, are so totally at odds with each other.

Everybody loves preaching to people about how they should be confident. But what do they do when they meet someone who is actually confident? They think he's egotistic!

I know there's a line somewhere, between being confident and being egotistic, and perhaps it's to do with our individual interpretations as well.

I think confidence is purely a 'self' thing; believing in yourself, knowing your own abilities, how good you are and where you can improve, etc. I think egotism is an 'other' thing; how much better you are than the other person, what you can do vs what they can do, etc.

By this definition, I'm confident and not egotistic, coz frankly, I don't much care what other people can or can't do. I'm too busy improving myself.

Anyway, the point here is, (after zigzagging through all my musings) the problem with people nowadays is that they are confused because they are trying to fuse their Chinese upbringing, with their Western education, and they end up contradicting themselves and being hypocritical.

I don't care if you want to follow the Chinese culture, coz I think culture is a great thing, and whatever that may have worked for a people for so many centuries definitely has its place. And I don't care either, if you choose to follow your Western influences and teachings, because they have their own greatness.

But when you try to do both, which contradicts each other... consciously, you say you value confidence, subconsciously, you put down anyone who even shows a little hint of confidence in themselves... that's just plain confusing to everyone! And it makes it really hard for our next generation to learn, because they don't know if they should be confident or humble or what the hell!

Anyway, I'm done. Sorry for the really long post, and I think, a rather confusing one. LOL! It is a confusing subject, so what do you expect?! =P Feel free to tell me your opinions, I always love a good discussion.

Tuesday night, Lone and I went for the Beauty and the Beast musical at the KL Convention Center. We bought the tickets way back in April and believe me, I have waited with so much anticipation until it was finally July!

The musical both exceeded my expectations and disappointed me at the same time, though I know how contradictory that sounds. But let me explain.

It exceeded my expectations because the performances were really good, they added a lot of new songs, the performers sang and acted really well and with so much enthusiasm, and it was really entertaining and fun.

It disappointed me because I thought the direction wasn't all that good... I didn't know what they were trying to achieve with the show, were they trying to amuse us and make us laugh, or move us and make us cry, or shock us, or what? Because sometimes during the sad scenes or the supposedly serious scenes, they ended up selling us short in the emotional department. The only thing they really achieved was making us laugh.

The other thing is, so many children attended the show, which is of course expected, since it's supposedly a children's show, and would explain a lot of the serious scenes which they turned funny and their over-exaggeration of the characters' caricatures. And yet, I wouldn't call the show kid-friendly... In fact, certain scenes were downright vulgar! Most notably, the scene in which Gaston humps Belle, and the many other scenes where he humps the air. =P

So after the show was over, I walked away feeling confused... Was I supposed to be amused? Or moved? Was this a family-friendly show? Or an 18SX one? What message were they trying to send? What were they trying to achieve?

It all seemed like there wasn't really a point to the show at all... And I definitely didn't walk away feeling fulfilled like I did with the Phantom of the Opera in Singapore, or even with the local production, Drunk Before Dawn.

Beauty and the Beast was just... whatever!

I mean, I enjoyed it, I think. But there's really nothing I can take away from it. =(

Oh well...

Anyway, I got pictures! =) Although we weren't supposed to take any, but everyone else was doing it! =P And with flash too, those terrible people in the audience! At least we didn't use the flash, which would've have totally distracted the performers.

We didn't take a lot, because we had to be really sneaky, but we managed some near the end. Here they are!

In the beginning...
We had to take a picture of the library backdrop, of course! I salivate just thinking about getting a library like this.
Ballroom dancing after the Beast has turned back into the prince. =)
And taking the bows at the end of the show!

That's all, folks! Thanks for watching.

A couple of days ago, Lone and I had a conversation that tickled me to the bone, because I'm a big fan of the Archie comics. *grin*

So you see, Lone and I were talking about names, and I said I loved female names that could be shortened into masculine names, ei. Joe for Josephine, Sam for Samantha, and etc.

Then Lone mentioned his sister-in-law, as in his brother's wife, who went by the name of Ron, short for Veronica.

And since my name is Betty and I love the Archie comics, I always look for connections between myself and girls named Veronica.

I went, how nice, Betty and Veronica ends up marrying brothers (Lone and his brother). And then I said, if only your names were Archie.

And then, I stopped. And Lone looked at me, and I started laughing like a madwoman! Because I realized that their surname was Chu, as in Ah Chu (Archie)!!!!!

So Betty and Veronica both married Archie!!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!

The best part is, I've always wanted a resolution in the age-old question of who Archie marries in the end, and it is *never* ever answered! And now that *both* Betty and Veronica marries Archie, I guess God just doesn't want to give us the answer. LOLOLOL!!!!

I'm so lame.

I just spent almost 4 hours trying to fix my book blog!

It's been acting up the last couple of days... taking a long time to load and etc, so I've been troubleshooting trying to figure out what's wrong with it, fixing things here and there. Apparently, it's the template server, so I changed the template.

I wasn't happy with it though, coz it was too *white*, so I added a gray background. But it's still really *white*, and I wanted to change the sidebar's color. It seems the original sidebar design has the sections in gray boxes, but it doesn't turn up here.... I'm still wondering how to fix it.

Sigh... I wish I was smarter with html coding. I only just barely know the basics.

And I'm really, really tired now, so I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe.

Good night!

After my tirade yesterday, I tired myself out with all the stressing and worrying, so I decided no more negative thoughts!

I will block all negative thoughts and people from my life.

And become Zen-like....

And boring...

LOL!

Ok, not really. I will definitely not become Zen-like, but I will try to be as positive and exciting as I can. I mean, who says that positive people can't be interesting? =P

Imagine my new-found positivity causing me to win a lottery of 10 million dollars!! Woo hoo!! I bet I won't be boring anymore! LOL!

Especially since I don't buy lottery tickets, so winning a 10 million dollar lottery would definitely be interesting.

Anyway...I digress, as usual.

What I want to do today, is list up 10 things that I'm grateful for. So here they are:

1. I am grateful for the most wonderful-est, special-est, talented-est, loving-est, romantic-est, fiance in the whole wide world!
2. I am grateful for a family that love me and only want the best for me.
3. I am grateful that I have a brilliant brain that enables me to learn more and improve everyday of my life.
4. I am grateful for all the wealth and opportunities that come my way everyday.
5. I am grateful for the growth and progress of our business that we love and enjoy.
6. I am grateful for having the best friends a girl could have.
7. I am grateful for all the books I've read that have contributed in making me who I am today.
8. I am grateful for having the opportunity to meet such inspiring people and wonderful new friends.
9. I am grateful for the two wonderful puppies that constantly brighten up my days.
10. I am grateful for my skills and talents, and the ability to be able to realize their potentials.

Well, actually I have a lot more to be grateful for, but some of them are too detailed.

Bottom line is, I have a wonderful, wonderful life, filled to the brim with wonderful things. And even though sometimes it seems that they may overflow, I love everything I have, everyday I live. And I honestly feel so lucky, so amazed, that all my dreams are coming true.

(in zen pose)*bliss*

=)

Every time I start to relax, I'm reminded that I have too many things to do.

My father has been pressuring me about my health studies, asking me why am I doing it so slow, and yet at the same time acknowledging that I'm doing it part-time...

He really confuses me sometimes...

I told him I have a *lot* of things to do, not just study. I'm working with Lone to build up our business, and I'm working constantly on several side businesses as well, not to mention working on making my dreams come true (which involve a lot of foundation work that doesn't show immediate results).

Not to mention a lot of personal stuff that I need to get done as well... My library still needs to be organized, I get sent on household errands a lot (just because I work at home! Arrghh!), and Lone and I are just only starting to organize for our big day next year.

Oh, yes, we're getting married, by the way. =)

Anyway, more on that later, nothing much to say about it now, since we're only just planning about the planning.

So yeah, apparently I'm too slow in my *part-time* studies, and I need to prioritize. Um...I *do* prioritize.

I love studying health and I'm really into my course, but building up our business is much more important now, since we need to earn more money for our wedding and our future, which of course, means that building up my other side businesses is also more important.

That doesn't mean that I'm not studying!

It will kill me if I have to do this, but I may have to put aside my dreams! (because I have nobody to answer to except myself when it comes to my own personal dreams, but they *should* be at the highest priority, shouldn't they?) so that I can spend more time with our businesses and with my studies.

I'm not slow! I'm just not fast. =P

And I'm unwilling to give anything up! I want it all!

Yes, I want to have my cake and eat it too, and I want to be able to do all the things I want to do, because they are all important to me!

I just need everyone to stop with the pressure! I'm doing the best I can!

I love studying, and if I wasn't doing my course now, I will eventually take it up again in the future. But we've already paid, and I'm committed to it, and I'm enjoying it! I just need to be able to go my own pace!

Because truth be told, out of everything I'm doing now, studying is the least important. And if I really *have* to give up something, I would prefer that studying be it.

But it is still important, and I am still committed, and I want to do it! But I want to do it MY WAY! Even my college isn't pressuring me about my pace! It's a self-paced course and I have 5 years to finish it, and they recognize that we're doing it part-time.

I try to allow myself to relax, because I'm so busy and feel so guilty if I'm not doing something productive 24 hours a day that sometimes I'm afraid I may go crazy.

And I hate it that my work goes unrecognized by everyone except Lone, just because I work *mostly* at home.

WORKING AT HOME MEANS I *WORK* AT HOME, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I SIT IN FRONT OF THE TV WITH NOTHING TO DO EXCEPT WAIT FOR YOU TO GIVE ME SOME CHORE!

*HIGH-PITCHED FRUSTRATED SCREAM!*

I need a holiday...=(

Here are the pix you've all been waiting for!! (If you haven't already seen them in facebook, that is...)

This is my favorite pre-wedding pic of theirs, don't you think they look great?

I love her smile here.

The beautiful Bufori!

The family toast! Mel's parents, the happy couple, my parents, and me.

My beautiful parents

Grace and me

My wonderful, wonderful friends and me

My dearest and me

Click on the pictures if you want to enlarge them. I'm sorry I don't have more, but Lone was busy with Heng Tai duties that night and only managed to take a few pix here and there, the official pix from the hired photographer aren't out yet, so I'll post again when they are. =)

I've been meaning to change my layout for a while now, but I've been too lazy to.

Well, I finally did it! In the theme of LOVE, because my brother's newly married and LOVE is in the air!

I thought it would be good to post up pictures of my brother's wedding on my blog with this new theme, so now that it's done, the pix are coming up next!

Stay tuned! =)

I haven't recovered yet!

I'm still too tired out to post about my brother's wedding, though I'm well enough to say that it was wonderful and really, really, touching. =)

I don't really have the any of the pix anyway, coz Lone still has my camera. =P Ok, he's actually posted up the pix in facebook, but I'm too lazy to link to them now, and anyway, it's more fun posting them up here. But I'm too tired now. =P

Soooooo......... be patient.

On another note, I loved the hairdo that the hairstylist did for me for my brother's wedding so much that I went to perm my hair Sunday after the wedding!

I'm impulsive like that. Though not really.

I spend months and months playing with the idea of cutting/dyeing/perming/whatever-ing my hair, and then one day when I decide that I should, I do it immediately.

Gives my boring life the illusion of being exciting.

Ok, that's it for now.

Too lazy to say much more. =P

So my brother's wedding is this Saturday, how fast time flies... =)

Everything is mostly done, there's just a couple of last minute stuff I have to get done in the next couple of days. And then, on Friday night/Saturday, it's just going with the flow (probably a really heavy current) all the way.

We're all going to be exhausted, but I'm pretty sure we're all going to be really glad to have gotten it all over with, and then life can get back to normal. LOL!

Well...until it starts all over again.

Anyway... my own personal pledge to myself, after Saturday's over, I'm going to take one full day off, no studies, no working, no business, nothing! Except just laying in bed and reading fairy-tales. No non-fiction! =P

Ok, ok... I know! I haven't blogged much lately, and what I have blogged about are either so boring that you read them as bedtime stories, or so meaningless that you wonder why I even bother.

Sigh... =(

SORRY!!

Truth is, it's not that I don't have anything to say... I have a LOT to say, but most of them can't be said here. Because it is a public blog and I have no idea who's reading it (yes, I have a lot of bitchy things to say about *you* if you're reading my blog! You know who you are!) (Ok, that was a joke, I have better things to do that to complain about people I don't care about in my blog =P), and because the things I have to say will probably be confusing (and more than a little off-putting) to the people who don't know the backstory about me/my life/my beliefs/my experiences.

So that's why I don't say them here, and have been saying them instead in another private blog I have. (Did I ever mention before that I have....at least eight(!) different blogs?)

Muahhahahha! You guys have only been reading what I've wanted you to read!

Oh, nevermind, ignore that last sentence... obviously, I have not taken my medicine today. =P

Anyway, being serious now, the last couple of days have been *intensely* introspective for me. Not as intense as it could still go, because I've taken some breaks, but it's as intense as I've ever been. I've been doing some releasing from past problems, letting myself feel the residual anger/sadness/bad feelings, letting go of them, analyzing the way I felt, who I was and why I acted the ways I did, and what I learned from the past, how I can improve myself now...etc.

I'm definitely not done yet. I am a *very* analytical person, and trust me, I get hooked on one single scenario, and I analyze it to death in a hundred different ways! I'm still stuck on one topic in all the last couple of days I've been doing it. It's fun! (And scary!) But I also gotta be careful that I don't neglect the other issues that I haven't covered yet and not stick to one too long.

It's too soon to tell if it is actually helping me, but I'm eager to continue ahead and see.

On the same note, but a slightly different angle, I've also been doing some 'future' stuff too (as opposed to releasing past problems, this is more of a 'how do I know I'm on the right path' thing).
I'm amazed by how much insight I gain from these sessions!

One thing I have to admit, I am more of a 'thinker' than a 'doer'. I plan, and talk, and discuss, and analyze, and strategize about how I can achieve a certain thing, when I should've just gone ahead and get it done instead. It is one of my biggest weakness, and the one that keeps me from moving ahead.

At the same time, I have also read a lot of books on wisdom, from wise gurus and such, about how we are a people who are so focus on 'doing', 'doing', 'doing', that we never just let ourselves 'BE', and that sometimes we should stop doing so much for a change and just BE. So like every other student of wisdom, I misinterpreted the above to mean what I wanted it to mean. I became passive and introspective and quiet and (inhales deep knowing breaths) just 'BE'd'.

Well, it didn't work too well for me, and I completely didn't realize that this was what I was doing. Not until yesterday when I had a meditative session with my higher self, and she told me how naive and wrong and unwise I was (ok, not in those words exactly...LOL!).

So anyway, what she said that really made me realized how wrong I was, and I'm just paraphrasing here, was that "Before you can 'be', you first have to 'do'!"

And she was right!

I was so focused on be-ing a more enlightened 'BE-ing', that I have forgotten I need to DO! I was so intent on getting to the 100th floor, that I forgot that I first have to go through floors 1 through 99! I had no idea that I had incorporated this false teaching of 'Being' into my daily life and that it was impeding my progress.

Elaborating further, as an example; if I wanted to 'be' a singer, first I must 'do' the singing, then *maybe* I can 'be' a singer, because you don't automatically become a singer just because you 'do' the singing, as many karaoke singers know well =P, but you definitely for sure can't BE a singer, if you're not willing to DO the singing.

So if I want to be successful, I've got to DO the things that will make me BE successful, not just 'think positive and you will be successful'. If I want to be wealthy, I've got to DO the things that help me achieve wealth. And etc.

Perhaps to most of you 'doers' this must seem painfully obvious and you probably think I must be really quite unsmart to not know this in the first place.

Please, in my defence, remember that I am a 'thinker' more than a 'doer' first and foremost because I am a lazy, procrastinating, pig, and any excuse I can think of to not DO what I need to DO, especially if it's in the name of higher 'wisdom', I will use shamelessly.

I am quite content to spend my whole life as a thinker and never bother to do anything ever! If it wasn't for the fact that this attitude is unhealthy and incredibly limiting, and extremely hazardous to my progress in life!

Improvement is important to me. Progress is important to me. Achieving my dreams is important to me. BEING the highest form of BEING I can be is so terribly important to me. And to achieve all these, first I have to get off my butt, and DO the things I need to DO, so that I can BE what I want to BE.

So laugh at me if you want, just because I may have been a little bit slow in getting this. But just remember one thing, you may have starting DOING long before I did, but ask yourself, are the things you are DOing going to make you the person that you really want to BE? Or are you just merely mindlessly doing them, and BEcoming someone you never intended to BE and forgetting the person you originally wanted to BE?

There! I've said a lot! This blog post should last you weeks! (It really should! Coz you should really be thinking about that last question! =P)

The money manager test


I took this Quiz- The money manager test

My Result Was:
You are a good money manager. You will save your money and grow it over the years.


Take this quiz- The money manager test

More Quizzes on lots of topics.

How excited are you about life?


I took this Quiz- How excited are you about life?

My Result Was:
You have the penchant to live and enjoy life. You try to extract the best out of everything and have fun. Carry on, and you shall surely have a great career and life.


Take this quiz- How excited are you about life?

More Quizzes on lots of topics.

Is reading novels your passion or an obsession?


I took this Quiz- Is reading novels your passion or an obsession?

My Result Was:
You are totally crazy about reading novels. It is more than a passion for you. Reading novels is an obsession for you.


Take this quiz- Is reading novels your passion or an obsession?

More Quizzes on lots of topics.

How well do you handle criticism?


I took this Quiz- How well do you handle criticism?

My Result Was:
You handle criticism with maturity. You don't lose your temper easily and try to take criticism in your stride. But take care, that you don't take wrong blames on your head.


Take this quiz- How well do you handle criticism?

More Quizzes on lots of topics.

Test your people skills


I took this Quiz- Test your people skills

My Result Was:
You possess good inter-personal or people skills. Your outgoing personality helps you in the same. Good luck.


Take this quiz- Test your people skills

More Quizzes on lots of topics.

Which music suits your personality?


I took this Quiz- Which music suits your personality?

My Result Was:
The music genre which suits your personality is pop.


Take this quiz- Which music suits your personality?

More Quizzes on lots of topics.

Are you living a beautiful life?


I took this Quiz- Are you living a beautiful life?

My Result Was:
Wow, you are living a beautiful life.


Take this quiz- Are you living a beautiful life?

More Quizzes on lots of topics.

Know your challenging style


I took this Quiz- Know your challenging style

My Result Was:
You are a level-headed person. You put a good amount of thought before getting into any situation. You try your best to sort out a matter with peace and mutual agreement. People in distress may count on your for help and advice. You strike a great balance between aggression and right action.


Take this quiz- Know your challenging style

More Quizzes on lots of topics.

Yikes! I haven't blogged in almost a month!! It's so hard to do all the things I want to do and be good at managing my time for them all. But I'm unwilling to give them up, I may be slow, but at least I'm doing them!

Anyway, I'll leave the serious talk for next time. This post is all about useless, meaningless, time-wasting quizzes! Just coz I deserve them. =P

It's been awhile since I last blogged about my thoughts and feelings...

It's been awhile since I had the time to really think about how I feel...

I've been so busy lately, with so many things to plan, work, and do, that I haven't really allocated any time for self-reflection or meditation, or just a simple and relaxing me-time.

Mentally, I've been busy like nobody's business. My brain has been working non-stop for the last couple of months. Trying to think up ideas, plans, and modes of execution, for projects at work, for my college projects, for my writing projects, for the band, and for the business. It's exhausting, but it's a good kind of exhausting because I feel so accomplished. I also know though, that I need to let my brain rest and not think of solving problems all the time.

Physically, other than the exercise I get when I sing and dance during our band sessions, I have not had the time (or the energy) to exercise at all lately, and I've put on some weight(!). Especially since now I'm mostly sitting and working at the office, I can't even use the exercise bike and read my textbooks like I used to. Not happy with the results here.

Emotionally, I've been really happy, but just a tiny bit hassled because of all the work I have to do. The bf and I spend a lot of time together, but a lot of it is spent discussing work. Still I would say that we're both very, very, healthy emotionally. I'm happy almost every minute of the days, with minimal complaints. The great thing about our relationship is that although we're both busy doing the work that we need to do, we still find little pockets of time in between, special moments where we still giggle and laugh like a new couple, and tell each other how much we love and appreciate one another (and still mean it!). No complaints here, but of course, you can never have too much love and happiness. =) (Let's continue to increase these everyday, dear!)

Spiritually, unfortunately...I've been neglecting. Other than the 'you are my heart and soul' part of spirituality, I haven't done anything at all for a long time, to feed my spiritual needs. I haven't really prayed, or meditated, or done any of the rituals I used to do, or developed any part of myself spiritually at all. Those who know me intimately know that spirituality is one of the most important aspects of who I really am, and to have neglected this part of myself is very frustrating and dissapointing to me. I have no excuse to give, nor am I trying to guilt myself. It is simply a fact. I have been neglecting this part of myself, and I am seriously disappointed in myself. That's it. Will I do something about it? Do I have the time? These questions are irrelevant, because you will always find the time to do the things you really want to. It merely depends on what you choose your priorities to be.

If I decide that I have more important priorities at the moment, I will continue to neglect spirituality, and I will be disappointed, but I will accept it. That goes for everything else. I have had to give up certain things I wanted to do, because there are other things that are more important at the moment. It's a choice, and I'm completely in control, so there's no reason to beat myself up over it. If I decide, however, that I do not want to ignore this aspect of my life, I will spend more time on it, and I will accept the other consequences I have to face. And I will accept that choice as well.

Anyway, I feel like I'm becoming too serious for my own good. I think for my next few posts, I'm going to have to take those cutesy and fun online personality quizes and post them up here just to lighten things up a bit.

Maybe I'll even write a funny short story or something...

Linda Wisdom, the author of 50 Ways to Hex Your Lover, guest blogged on my bookblog on Monday. It was a very inspiring post, especially for writers, but I believe that the advice can be applied to anyone in any aspect of their lives.

Click here to read her post.

As for me, I have to admit that I have certain comfort zones that I may be too afraid to get out of, but at the same time I know that if I don't come out of my comfort zone, I won't achieve anything of value.

I have big dreams, I have big ideas, and none of them will come true if I stay in my comfort zone. I am not content to just dream about them, I will not be satisfied with a life half-lived. So it's time for me to be brave, and live the life I was born to live.

Glory, Fame, and Fortune! Here I come!

Linda Wisdom, the author of the new paranormal romance, 50 Ways to Hex Your Lover, will be guest blogging in my bookblog about her deliciously entertaining book this Monday, the 21st of April, so make sure you visit my bookblog to see what she has to say.

50 Ways to Hex Your Lover features sassy witch Jazz Tremaine, her on-again, off-again sexy vampire lover, Nikolai Gregorivich, and of course, her always-hungry bunny slippers, Fluff and Puff, who are seriously adorable but dangerously quick to chomp on anything within the grasp of their sharp teeth.

The chemistry between Jazz and Nikolai sizzles throughout the book as they are forced to work together to stop a diabolical psycho who uses his powerful dark magick to steal vampires' and other magickal creatures' life forces.

Linda will blog more about the book on Monday, but I just want to say that it was one of the best and most entertaining paranormal romances I have ever read. All the characters are interesting and truly memorable, especially the annoying ghost Irma, Jazz's greedy employer Dweezil, and the truly foul Tyge Foulshadow. Nikolai is one vampire whose fangs I'd like to get on me, except that Jazz would kill me if I touched him, and I honestly wouldn't want her on my bad side.

Linda Wisdom's 50 Ways to Hex Your Lover is a real treat for witch and vampire lovers and it is full of fun and excitement on every single page. Read more about it this Monday when Linda guest blogs here.

These last couple of weeks have been really tiring!

I'm the most disorganized person I know, and it always seems like everytime I finally get organized, something comes along which makes me have to reorganize again.... I'm not good at this!!! I need a personal assistant! LOL!

Anyway, these couple of weeks after the Money N You seminar was really busy, because our band, SideWalk Bandits are now practising twice a week, so I'm going every Wednesday and Sunday, and it's til late. I just got back from a jam session, in fact, and I'm all tired out.

I'm also giving a talk at my dad's office tomorrow(Thursday), about anti-aging, how to live long and stay young and healthy, and I've been spending the last week preparing for it. Do come if you're interested, it's at 8.30 pm at Kuchai Entreprenuer's Park, call me for details, or call 03-79873151.

Yesterday there was a Money N You completion and reunion night as well, and I accompanied Lone there. Busy, busy, as a bee. Monday was another busy day.... we went on a day trip, and then Lone got sick....

Lotsa things happening... I'll be glad when I get the chance to breathe!

I haven't even had the chance to study this week. It seems that now my studies need to take a backseat as I'm concentrating more on my 'jobs'.

It's actually ok because it's meant to be a self-study course for working adults, and we get 5 years to complete it, but I really wanted to finish it fast, I wanted to finish it in one year. Which meant that I was actually going to study full-time, and work part-time. But now that I'm working full-time (actually, many jobs part-time), I guess I may have to settle for finishing the course in two years? Or maybe even three?

No...3 years is too long, at the most, I'd take 2 and a half years...

Priorities, priorities....

The fact is, there are a lot of changes happening, and which will continue to happen. And if we continue working towards our goals, it seems likely that my priorities will keep changing, and I may not even have the time to study anymore.

I'm taking everyday one at a time and see where it leads me. I'm not worried though, because I'll be happy with whatever happens. I've got lotsa choices. =)

Last weekend I was at a 3 and a half day seminar with Lone. I went to it before and it was *EXHAUSTING*, and now as a graduate, I get to go again for free. So I went to review it and keep Lone company.

It would've been ok if I just went like for a couple of hours each day, but I stayed throughout the whole thing, and it was really tiring. I didn't get enough sleep, so now I have a huge pimple on my nose!!! Ugghhh!

Anyway.... more updates later, right now I just wanted to ask if anyone is looking for a job? Or has a friend who's looking for a job?

My dad's company is looking for:

1> Account Executive, with LCCI and above, minimum of 2 years
experience, and is able to handle full-set accounts.

2> Marketing Executive, with a diploma or higher qualification, who is
able to travel when required.

3> General Clerk, with SPM qualifications and above, and has PC
knowledge.

You can call 03-79873151 if you're interested or if you have a friend who is interested.

Please do pass the word around. Thanks so much! =)

Prison Break is bringing Sara back!

I knew it all along!! Hah!!! *smug*

Ok...that's all I wanted to say. Gloating over. =D

I haven't finish watching the 3rd season of Prison Break though... Time to start again!

I eat meat quite often, but usually in small portions and always with more vegetable dishes. As long as I keep the portions small, I don't have a problem. It's only once in a while, when it just so happens that I eat out almost everyday that particular week, or when it isn't easy to get vegetable dishes, or whatever, that I 'overdose' on my quota of meat.

When I do 'overdose' I can always expect to get sick not long after that. Coughing, sore throat, excess phelgm... It's my body's way of getting rid of the excess acidity that eating meat causes.

It's really not fun getting sick at all, especially since I can't sing with sore throat and coughs, so I try my best never to exceed my limits when it comes to eating meat, or when I do, I make sure I go through a detox program before I get too sick.

However, it never occurred to me that it might not be just about eating too much meat, but that it might also be about *what kind* of meat I eat.

Most of the time when we eat meat, and I'm pretty sure I can speak for almost everyone, it's usually chicken, because chicken is the cheapest and the most accessible (and it's halal to everyone). Pretty much 70% of the time I eat meat, it's usually chicken. The other 20% is fish, and 10% is a various assortment of pork, beef, lamb, etc (I don't like seafood though, seriously).

So everytime I 'overdose' on my quota of meat, it's mostly chicken that I ate. And then I get sick. *Everytime.*

But very recently, on one particular week, I had a few 'celebration' dinners with bf and various friends. So on that week, I had lamb one night, beef another, fish and pork another.... It was a *lot* of meat, and it just so happened I didn't eat any chicken. There weren't much vegetables on the menu either, by the way.

I completely expected to get sick, and was preparing to go through the detox programs, but I never did. I waited, and waited, and waited, and I didn't get sick. No sore throat, no coughing, no excess phelgm.

I wondered why.

Hmm....maybe my immune system has become stronger, I thought to myself. Or did I drink more water than usual this week? What did I do right?

I got my answer a few days later. My dad told me about one of his friends who stopped eating chicken, just chicken, and then started feeling healthier and not getting sick all the time. She was still eating other kinds of meat, but just eliminating chicken from her diet made her feel so much better already. My father wanted to try not eating chicken at all for a while, and see if we find any similar results.

Then it hit me that I didn't eat chicken at all that week when I ate a lot of meat. I told him there might be something to this theory, and we should definitely try it out.

So we tried it out, and our friends and clients did too, everyone of us boycotting chicken.

It isn't easy to do because sometimes the only thing on the menu has chicken in it, but when we have a choice, we never choose the chicken. So it seems so far that everyone has noticed some improvement on their general health, but it's still too soon to tell the long-term effects of cutting off chicken from our diets.

I believe that it isn't the chicken meat itself that causes problems, since white meat is supposed to be much healthier than red meat like lamb or beef. The problem with chicken is that they are *cultivated* by the millions to feed all of us.

It is the most widely eaten meat, and let's face it, most people eat more meat than vegetables, so there is a very *high* demand for chicken meat. Hence, the millions of chickens needed to feed us everyday, and the need for them to grow fast, or whatever. I honestly don't know what they do to the chickens, or how they do it, but I do know that whatever they are doing isn't good for us.

It's known that whatever chemicals are in our food gets into our system too when we eat them, and it goes for everything that goes into our mouths. Vegetables sprayed with pesticides are harmful if we don't wash them well before cooking and eating them, animals killed in slaughterhouses give us doses of agression because we're eating their chemical adrenaline when we eat their meat too, cows infected with mad cow disease and pigs infected with JE infect us too if we eat them...

So it should be common sense that chickens injected with steriods/hormones/whatever, would affect our general health as well, and we all know that the chickens that we eat are no where near completely natural. Not even some of the so-called 'kampung chicken' are really completely natural.

Anyway, the bottom line is, if you suffer from coughs, flus, sore throats, weak lungs or whatever, stay away from chicken for a few weeks, and see if that doesn't make you feel better. It's definitely easier and cheaper to try, than going to the doctor every few weeks, and you'd feel much better too at the end of it.

All work and no play makes Betty a dull girl indeed.

It seems like everything I ever do is work, work, and more work.

It doesn't feel that way initially, because everything I do is different: I write, I study, I work at my dad's office, I work with bf's biz, I sing (for performances)...

So yeah, there's a real variety and they're all really fun to do. I should feel lucky, because essentially it means I have FIVE 'jobs' which I really enjoy! While others have one which they may not even like.

But it also means I have not much time left for just kicking back and relaxing sometimes. I always feel like I must be doing something. I must always have a book in my hand, or practicing my songs, or talking with bf about the biz, or whatever, and I instantly feel guilty when I'm not doing anything 'productive'.

And when sometimes I just decide to shush the guilt complex and let the work wait, someone will eventually come along and say something like, "So, how's your study going on?" or "Did you practise the songs we're performing next week?" or "Did you get back to the client about (fill in the blank)?" And back I go to work again.

It's not just guilt about work either. I love my friends and I love hanging out, but sometimes I really do just want to spend some time alone and work on some of my *hobbies*. I want to read a book for fun! Not just for reviews or studies or learning something new about business. I want to relearn palmistry, so I can have fun reading people's palms (and also so I can teach Raul *wink*). I want to have time to crochet so I can give people better, personalized gifts. I want more free time for myself.

But instead, I spend my precious free time with my friends going out having dinner or watching a movie or whatever. Hey guys, don't get me wrong, I love spending time with you guys, and having fun with you guys is what keeps me sane sometimes from all the work that I have.

I like nothing more than to have a nice casual dinner together, chatting about everything we chat about and just letting it all hang out, but I keep thinking about the things I'm not getting done, the things I need to do, the things I *want* to do, and it keeps me from fully enjoying being out with my friends.

Perhaps what I'm suffering from is a severe case of bad time management. On the other hand, perhaps I'm just simply taking on too many things and need to cut down.

But that's the whole problem. I'm not willing to cut down on anything! And the ones that I do want to cut... I can't because I'm needed there. My dad needs me at the office, and my bf needs me for the business. So you see, I help my parents and my bf with their businesses, and there's no one left to help me with what *I* want to do. There's not even much time for *myself* to work on what I want to do.

It's such a dilemma, because even if my parents or bf tell me, "go ahead and do your stuff, we can find someone else to help us", I still wouldn't let go. I want to help my parents because I feel I can bring something new to their business, and besides, it's the only thing that gives me a regular salary (all my other 'jobs' pay on a project by project basis), and I want to help my bf because the business is new, and he's going to need my help before the biz takes off and stabilizes, and runs on automatic.

So if I do cut something out, it will be something that belongs to me.

It is much easier to cut what I want to do out, because I can do them anytime and they'll always be there for me when I decide to take them up again (except for my studies, which I have to do now on an ongoing basis), but I don't want to keep putting them off and ending up 80 years old and still deluding myself that I will achieve my dreams.... one day.

Right now, I don't know what I should do. I've always felt that life isn't worth living if you don't live for your dreams... But it seems that I may have to sacrifice some dreams if I want to achieve the others. And I don't know how to choose.

I don't know if I have the strength to choose.

I guess I'm not making much sense if you don't know exactly what's going on through my mind and the choices that I'm facing...

Bottom line is, I'm at a crossroads, and until I choose which path I need to take, I'm stuck standing here, looking down both paths... not knowing what each have in store for me, and being afraid that I'll miss out on something. I don't want to live to regret my choices.

Today was a tiring day. But oh so satisfying. =)

I got a lot of things done. Of course, there's always more to do, but today's progress was really good. I felt like I made the most of my time today, instead of always slacking off or procrastinating and ending up working late into the night.

Tonight I feel like I can relax after working hard the whole day today. There are still certain things that I haven't gotten done, but sometimes I think that's just my neurotic side talking. You know, that little annoying voice in my head that always think I don't do enough, or that I didn't do as well as I could have.

Sometimes she's right, though, and she's really, really, hard to ignore, but I try. =P

But seriously, although I'd like to be able to relax when I've deserved it, it's this little voice that keeps me going everyday. She makes me want to be the best I can be, because I *know* I can always do better. She makes me want to be a smarter, more knowledgable, more effective, more efficient, healthier, brighter, more beautiful, and a generally better person.

So it's a good thing because I'd probably be a useless slob without her. It's just that sometimes I wish that she wouldn't drive me so hard. (She's actually not as bad as some other people, I know, but I wish she was even *more* 'not as bad'! I *like* being a lazy ass sometimes!)

For tonight though, I am going to ignore her. I'm going to read a trashy, mindless, romance novel, and I'm going to enjoy it! =P

Until she starts nagging at me again in the morning...

Ok then...

Yes, I know I know! A whole MONTH since I last updated!!

Sorry.... Really... Damn... I can't come up with any good excuse... =P But you'll still have to forgive me anyway... =D Love ya!

Ok, so updates! Nothing much happened during CNY... honestly, it was the most boring one I ever had. They seemed like just any other day to me. I'm starting to become a boring person, ain't I? =(

Gotta spice things up a lil bit, maybe find a really hot chick to cheat on my bf with, or go bungee jumping in Rome, steal Brad Pitt from Angelina Jolie....

What?! You think I can't do it?! LOL!

Anywayyyy....

The last week was kinda interesting though, and very very happy for me, in fact, =D because Redemption came back!!

Ok, it was only Bien, Raul, and Alex, and it was only for one day... but it was so great to see them again! They were just stopping over for a day because they had to meet their manager(?) here, and then they had to go back to Indonesia again to perform there.

As always, we had loads of fun, talking, drinking, eating...especially the eating part, I think, for them. Lone made a collage of the pix, which I don't have on my computer, but which he uploaded on youtube, so yayy! You get to see them. =)

Ok, that was on Sunday, and it was great fun except for the last part when a couple of police pulled us over and thought they could bully us into giving them some bribes, but they didn't get anything from us, so too bad.

I was pretty pissed off at the time though, because I know my rights and they were clearly just trying to bully us. But don't get me started on it because I have a lot of things to say about them, and none of it is good. =P

Let's hope things really change for the better after the election, no matter who wins.

Back to Redemption... I missed them sooooo much! Chris, Paula, and Teody are no longer with the band, personal reasons, and Redemption wouldn't be the same without them, but I'm sure they'd still sound good of course! Just with different sounds and dynamics, and most importantly, chemistry. They had one of the best chemistries ever!

I haven't heard them perform with their new line up, but I am sure they'll sound great and I can't wait to listen to them when they come back here in August!

Got that, guys?! They're gonna be back in Hard Rock in August!!! Check your calendars, make sure you're free during the weekends and I'll probably see you there.

Oh, speaking of great chemistries, another *really* great band that I *really* love is Asia Reforms from Indonesia! We went to Planet Hollywood last Thursday night, and they're playing there now up until the end of April. They are seriously, seriously....talented. Extremely... OMG! Words can't describe. You just *really* have to go and watch them yourselves.

And seriously, the bassist? OH.... MY.... GOD....

GO watch them!! GO!!!! And ask them to play Hump De Bump by RHCP, and maybe you'll be able to see exactly just how good the bassist, Zackey, is.

Everyone else is really talented too, don't get me wrong. I think the lead vocalist and the female vocalist are two of the most talented performers I've ever met.

 

Oh, did I mention that earlier this same night we went to Planet Hollywood and Dina from the first Malaysian Idol was performing there live too? The program was broadcast to 8TV if I'm not mistaken, but I got to hear her live and for the first time since she won second place in Malaysian Idol about three? years ago.

And you know what? She's improved sooooo much! She really blew me away with her rendition of Christina Aguilera's Ain't No Other Man! You should hear her high notes! And yayyy, I got to take a picture with her too!

So that's about it for updates for now... I'll blog more when I have more to say and when I don't feel so lazy.

Happy Voting tomorrow, everyone!

I would have written a whole intelligent and sophisticated post about the election but I don't feel up to being too intelligent or sophisticated right now, so just make the right choice, people!

This is our country, and we do want a better country, we want improvements, so please vote for the right party. Listen to everything, but believe nothing until you've done your research.

Alright then... until next time! =) I have MUCH to catch up on!

Happy Chinese New Year 2008 to all my friends!

Wishing you all the joy, happiness, wealth, health, love, and prosperity!

May this year of the rat bring you the best in everything!

GONG XI FA CAI!

Just a quick note to say hi.

I've been really busy with Chinese New Year coming next week, and fact is, I'm behind on a lot of assignments! *sweats*

I have a review deadline I haven't met yet, I was supposed to finished a section of my studies before the week was out, I have to re-organize my stuff and clean up before CNY starts, I need to finish a crochet project before Tuesday, and I'm taking part in an event next week!

So many deadlines! OMG!

The good thing is that I finally finished furnishing my room and the library! Yayyyy!! The big stuff, furniture and all, are done! It's just I have reorganize and tidy up the rooms, now that the furnishing is all done. What's left is the little decorative stuff, which I will do much later, probably only after CNY is over.

Another thing I'm really, *really* proud of...

A lot of the furnishings I bought are from IKEA, and you know they are all DIY stuff, right? Well...usually, I leave the bf to settle them for me. I love DIY-ing, so I do help out, but he does the tough work.

So I bought some other stuff on Friday night, and he was busy up until yesterday and today too, and I knew if I waited for him, I would not have my stuff fixed up until tomorrow.

So, I did it all myself!

I fixed up *everything*! With hammers, screws, and all!

Well, some weren't hard to do, but there was a particular table drawer thing that was a real challenge, and I fixed it up, completely by myself! I am so proud!

Suddenly I feel like buying more stuff from IKEA just so I can fix them up. Hmm... or maybe I can hire myself out to fix up IKEA stuff for people. LOL! Like they'll want my services.

Ok, ok...enough with that. I know I'm done furnishing, and I'm not going to buy useless stuff just to fix them up, so that's that. =)

I'm still really, really, proud.... even though I'm also kinda worried about the tasks I need to complete before the week is out.

Alright then, back to work. Bye!