I have just gotten very disturbing news.

As you all know, our Home Ministry has decided to ban certain books depending on whatever they deem should or should not be censored. First of all, I believe in freedom of choice, and I don't believe in censorship whatsoever. For goodness sake, we are not children who don't know the difference between right or wrong, we are adults with *brains*! And moreover, we are people who *read*, obviously. So whatever we choose to read, we can decide for ourselves the extent to which the book effect us!

The act of censorship itself, especially in books, suggest that we Malaysians are stupid children who don't know better, who need others to think for us, who need the Home Ministry to spoon-feed us. And the worst thing is, the people who are supposedly appointing themselves our 'personal thinkers' don't really think all that well.

You know why I say that?

Ok, assuming that I'm alright with the act of banning books itself, assuming that I believe that there are certain books that should be banned... They should be banned based on their content and not the titles!!! For goodness sake!! What the hell is wrong with giving your book an interesting and eye-catching title? It's just a title! Should we now fine everybody who has the misfortune to be named Dick or whatever other dubious name? Just because the guy's name is Dick doesn't mean that he's a dick!

Ok, let's assume further that it's ok to ban books based on their titles, let me ask you, what titles do you think should be banned? The Vagina Monologues? Maybe. A book with something vulgar on the title, well, I could probably understand that. But banning a book because it has the word Kiss on the title? This is beyond ridiculous!

But this was exactly what they did! They confiscated a book because of the word Kiss in the title!

Sighz... Everytime I think that Malaysia is making progress, some people just have to prove me wrong and show me that we're going backwards. Please, I love Malaysia, and I love it here, but everytime I see something like this, I just feel... disappointed. Honestly. *shakes head sadly*

I am against censorship and bookbanning, and I believe in freedom of choice! Free the books! Don't let them ban those books! Let us choose what we should and shouldn't read! Let us build our knowledge and our minds without interference! Support the Freedom of Books! FreeTheBooks.blogspot.com!

I'm currently obsessed with this song by Hinder, Lips of an Angel. It's the first song I've heard from them, and at first I thought it was by Creed or Nickleback or something, coz the voices all sound similar. You know those types which seems to be a trend nowadays, the low, sexy, deep voice types. It's getting really boring.

But the difference between Hinder and all those other bands...I don't know, maybe it's just this song, but you can *feel* the emotions. You know most of the time you like a song because it speaks to you, there's something in the song that you can relate to? Well, there's nothing in the lyrics that relates to me. I've never had an experience like that. But the song moves me to the deep deep deep core of my soul.

The pain, the love, the hurt, the anguish!! I can feel it all in his voice! If you took away all the lyrics and just listened to his voice, oh, I could cry.

This is true music!

Maybe the song is just something simple, it doesn't show off your amazing vocal skills, it doesn't show off your amazing finger work on the guitar, it doesn't show your amazing composition skills. But it moves people.

And that's really all you need to be a musician.

I know I haven't been blogging much lately. Sorry! You know la... holiday season and all... =P

Right now I feel too lazy to post up pictures, so I'll just ramble and see if anyone wants to read my long-winded post ok?

Ok, firstly...I got a rash after fishing last week! Arghh! It's my mother's fault, she got me to wear this sunblock thing on my face, and I (forgetting that my skin's sensitive to particular sunblocks) put it on, thinking that I must protect my skin from the oh so damaging sun. I ended up getting a rash on my face! On my face!! Ugh!

Luckily, it wasn't very visible, my skin felt really raspy, like sandpaper... Yuck! but no one would've known I was having a rash unless they touched my face and felt the sandpaper. =P I don't know why it wasn't visible, but I'm glad for that at least. I couldn't wear makeup though, so I went around looking like a zombie, and the most uncomfortable part was my lips. Yeah, terkena my lips too, very uncomfortable and dry and raspy and irritating feeling. =(

It's almost all gone now. =) Yayy! But please, remind me never to just put any old sunblock lotion on again! The last time I did it was in 2000, six years ago! No wonder I forgot!

It was while I was in The One Academy, and as you know, One Academy students get privileges when it comes to Sunway Lagoon (I don't know if that's still true, but it was at the time). So my classmates and I went to Sunway Lagoon, and I put on sunblock! And honestly I don't remember anything about that day, except that I got rashes all over my body the next day.

And my parents being what they are...into holistic healing and all... *sigh*...

I wasn't allowed to go to the doctor for jabs to suppress the allergy. I had to let it naturally run its course, so that my body could build immunity to it. (Yeah, right, how come I'm still allergic now. But then again, six years ago it was the body which got rashes, not the face. Maybe the face hasn't got the immunity built in until now. LOL! I don't know how it works.) So...I had to live with the rashes for *two* whole weeks!!

So I missed two whole weeks of classes! At my parents' insistance, mind you! And when I went back to class, my lecturer(Valentina, to those of you who know her, you'd know I went through hell!) sounded me for being absent for two weeks, although I gave her a letter from my parents. She wanted an MC, not a letter. But hey, come on, this is something I strongly oppose! Must I go see the doctor for every little malady that befalls me? Sometimes all we need is a little bit of rest, and our body will heal itself. Going to the doctor for medicines and antibiotics sometimes aggravates your problems more! And of course, it keeps you going back to the doctor again and again and again, because your problems are never really solved, they are just suppressed. So they keep cropping back up again and again and again!

I am very proud to say, that except for my yearly regular checkups (which everyone should go for), I haven't been to a doctor in.... Oh gosh! I have no idea how long, it's been *really* long! I find it a total waste of money to go to a doctor everytime you have a mild cough, or a cold, or a fever. Come on, don't be a baby, these things will go away on their own. Unless of course, they get really really bad. Then by all means, go see a doctor!! LOL!

Hey, I'm not saying that I'm one of those completely healthy health freaks. LOL! I am absolutely not a health freak, but I wish I was! And I'm not completely healthy, I have unhealthy predisposition. But if you think going to the doctor for every little boo-boo you have helps, think again. You have no idea how ignorant most doctors are about health. They might be experts on diseases, but they know nothing about health.

Which is the whole point.

My personal motto: Prevention is better than cure. You don't need medicines if you're healthy. And if you keep yourself healthy, you have nothing to worry about.

Don't forget that it's not in the best interest of the doctor to help you prevent illnesses, coz if nobody got sick ever, every doctor would lose their livelihood. LOL!

Personally, I'd rather pay a nutritionist to help me keep healthy, than a doctor to help me cure a problem that I could've easily prevented. Luckily, I already have the best nutritionist *and* doctor looking out for my best interest. I've got the best of both worlds. =) And I'm always interested in learning more about healthy living.

I recently came across this guy's blog: BetterThanYourBoyfriend and I am *intrigued* by his posts. He's such a strong advocate for eating well and healthy living, and all because he read a couple of books which changed his whole complete outlook! I'm getting those books, I want to know what's in them that could've effected him so much that he decided to be a vegan just like that. Who knows? I might convert too! =) He's a very intelligent guy, and his posts are highly entertaining. If you visit his site, you must read his 'advices', they're really good!

I woke up really early on Sunday to go fishing! I was up by 6am, and we reached the place by 8am. It was a beautiful place, completely natural and untouched by commercialism. That's the way I like it.

It's a private pond which belonged to a friend of my dad's, so it was just us there and no one else. It's the true fisherman's experience, unlike all those man-made ponds with a million other fishermen sitting around you and getting their lines all tangled up with yours. And which you could sit and wait for 5 hours without a single bite.

Yeap, this place was great! And I caught my first fish all on my own! And it was the biggest I had ever landed! Ok, this deserves an explanation... you see, I'd been fishing with my dad ever since I was a little Betty, and all this while, he was always the one who caught the fish and let me just play with it, and land the fish. This time, I got the fish completely on my own from the beginning til the end! And it was the biggest I had ever gotten too! Ok....let me show you the pix!

Btw, just a warning to whoever's reading this post, I have bragging rights! So if you've never caught a fish, or you're a terrible fisherman, don't be bitter that I think I'm such a big shot ok! =P And if you're a better fisherman than me, then just tolerate little girl acting big la! LOL!

All in all I caught 5 fishes! And I got the first catch of the day too! Out of 7 of us! And I got the biggest fish too! Muahhahahah! I was the fisherman of the day! *smug* =D

Here I am, reeling in the first fish I caught, I took at least 5 minutes to get this one in, it kept pulling the reel out after I reeled it in. But it was sooooo fun!

Finally landed him though! He's the biggest catch of the day, at a whooping 5kg! Woohoo! *smug* He was so heavy that I couldn't hold him up to take the picture. LOL!

This is my second catch! It was only 2.2kg though. They kept biting, one after another, and they kept getting smaller. =P

My third one was only 1.7kg. But it still wasn't the smallest.

My fourth got bigger, at 2.1kg, but I was getting kinda tired by then, because they were biting non-stop! I was catching them, taking pix of them, unhooking them, letting them go, baiting my hooks again, casting my rods, getting bites, and reeling them in again and again in succession!

My fifth catch was the smallest of them all, a mere 1.5kg! LOL! And I was so tired out by the endless fish that kept getting attracted to my line, and the heat of the sun was getting to me too, so I decided to 'retire' after my fifth fish! *grin*

But the fish didn't stop biting! They kept coming in, the other fishermen got their share too! Lone got one, it was bigger than my last four at 2.4kg!

Mum got a few, but this was her biggest one, it was 3.1kg and the second biggest catch of the day! After mine, of course...*smug* =P

Dad got one too! He would've gotten more, but he was too busy helping out the rest of us with our fishing. Mum and me because we wouldn't unhook the fish ourselves, Lone because it was his first time fishing. So in actuality, *all* the fish caught that day was my dad's! LOL! But of course, my 5kg fish was all mine. Seriously... =D


It was great fun! And I can't wait to go back again and spend the whole day catching more than my share! Lone and I had a lunch appointment that day, so we had to rush off by 11.30am, else we could've stayed longer and caught a whole lot more fishes! Well, we'll go back soon, I think Lone's addicted! *grin*

To the funnest colleague!!

To the most talented bandleader and guitarist!!

To the most patient guitar teacher!!

To the best friend!!

Thank you for making my life more colorful! I love you lots! Muaks! Hugs! Smooches! Kisses! etc! LOL! =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Yes I know the countdown doesn't match my layout but what can I do? Malaysia had never had a white christmas anyway, but there's always sun and sand here! =P

So anyway, 17 days til Christmas, another beautiful, fun, loving, happy, family holiday over-commercialized and turned into a tacky day for no other reason than to get people to spend their hard-earned money on useless ornamental things and presents that no one cares about just for the sake of letting them feel gratified that they received a present.

Hmm...sounds cynical, doesn't it?

Look, I love Christmas just as much as any other person, in fact, I love it more for it's true meaning and purpose, not for the meaningless, cheap gift-giving. We can't all afford to get good presents to everyone, so we end up buying cheap, useless stuff just so everyone we know will have some small trinket from us. That's not the point!!

It's not about how expensive the present is, nor it is about everyone receiving a small little useless something from you that you probably bought in bulk, because it was a christmassy thing. Whatever.

It used to be about love, about effort. How about just giving presents to your close loved ones? Hand-made stuff? Knit a sweater, crochet a bag, make a personalized bookmark. It doesn't have to be expensive. Or if you're a klutz when it comes to handmade stuff, how about buying something you know the person wants or needs? A book for a bookworm, yarn for a knitter, tools for a gardener, etc. I'm sure you know your loved ones better. Now we're giving presents to every Tom, Dick, and Harry, and we are in effect, spending a lot more money on presents that these people will open, ooh and ahh over in your presence, thank you for, and chuck in a corner once they reach home, because it's basically useless. What is the point?!

You know, if everyone who was going to spend RM10-20 on useless presents for me gave me the money instead, I could go and buy something useful. In fact, if they saved the money for themselves, and allowed me to save my money for myself, we could just get ourselves good presents, and just pretend that everyone else contributed to our wonderful, useful items. Blek...

I used to really love Christmas...now if it wasn't for all the Christmas trees infesting all the places I go to, the Christmas songs, and lights, and the fact that all the prices are marked up, I'd hardly remember that Christmas was here. Who took the fun out of Christmas?

I am soooooo bored and sleepy right now!

Here I am, in the office, trying to be busy and productive, but with nothing to do. Not at this moment anyway. So I'm waiting for some good samaritan leng chai colleague of mine to fetch me home so I could at least spend this unproductive time productively by sleeping so I'd get some beauty sleep out of it. But instead, I'm spending it rambling on and on about god knows what because my brain isn't even working properly right now and I'm just typing whatever comes to mind, which honestly isn't much.

Unfortunately, there's no good samaritan leng chai colleague to be found. What?! *shocked* No leng chai colleagues?! Time for me to find a job somewhere else where there are more leng chais. LOL! Just joking. I really am rambling with no idea what on earth my point is.

Or rather, my point is that I'm bored and sleepy and my brain has already flown back to the comforts of my bed back home and my body is still here. Duuhhh.... I think if I spent anymore time staring at the screen doing nothing, I'm going to end up with drool running down my chin. Ugh...yuck!

If this continues any longer I'm going to start doing some blog surveys! Yayyy! =) Or maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to do it anyway. *grin*

1 day since NaNoWriMo is over...

Well, at least I got 20K out of the 50K. It's less than half the amount, but I'm glad I tried and it's a great lesson for finding out my limitations too.

November is over, it's December now, and things are back to being busy at work. I wonder how that works. LOL! October was the end of our financial year, so November was mostly a month where all the Waltonians went for holidays and company trips, hence the slow work days and the very busy social days. Now that the holidaying is done, we're all back to working full swing again.

It's not easy getting the ball rolling once it has stopped, but I'm building up the momentum. It's especially hard when December is another holidaying month for everyone else. Everyone is rushing to finish up their end year projects, especially since everyone wants to be free by the time Christmas and New Year's come around.

But it's a new beginning, and I'm hopeful for the future. Everything seems to be looking brighter, there have been changes in the office, procedures and stuff, and in-house activities and all. Changes in my life, I've been taking up a lot of time last month for reading, and I've learnt many new things I'm eager to try out. I'm taking up two informal courses, and I'm looking for any tai chi classes I can join. Why tai chi? I know most people think it's an old man's activity, but I've always been intrigued by holistic healing, and the movement of energy within your body. I decided to take up tai chi and not the more popular yoga, because tai chi would allow me the peace of mind to meditate/concentrate on the energy flow of my body, which in turns help the healing of the body, and at the same time, it gives me a sense of safety because it's a type of martial art, one of the most powerful in fact. Of course, I wouldn't know how to use it until I've reached a certain level, but take up yoga for ten years and then see if you can defend yourself with it after that. =P

Oh well, I've been talking about taking up tai chi for a while and I still haven't done it, so who knows, I might be all talk. Or I might take a few lessons and then drop it because it's too boring? LOL! I'd love to at least try it though.

On another note, I got 2nd place for Walton Idol. Aww... =( The first place winner was a new colleague who sand Westlife's Flying Without Wings. He sang it *really* well though, so I'm happy losing to him. I sang Kelly Clarkson's Because of You, and the third place winner was one of our PA's who sang Alicia Key's If I Ain't Got You. She was really good too. Lots of competitions this year! And the finals is coming soon too... Any suggestions on what I should sing? I need to win back my title! LOL!

On yet another note, Wing Fei's wedding was wonderful, I finally met his wife for the first time since they got together. The place was beautiful and almost everyone was there, like what all of us were saying, it was like a high school reunion. =) I'll post up more pix later, but unfortunately my battery ran out halfway through the night. I still have so many pix to post up. The pix from our Bkt Tinggi trip, and then our Walton Idol, and then PD, and then Lone's friend's wedding, and then Fei's wedding.

Lalala... I feel like a 'professional socialite'! =D

Anyways, tomorrow is another big day. Walton is holding a hotel seminar at Crowne, and I have to be there from 9am til 6pm. Sighz... I really need to get more comfortable shoes to stand in. Blek.

So good night! =)

This is very short notice, I know. But just a note to let everyone know that I'm off to PD for the night! See you all again tomorrow! =) Tataaa!!

Ok, I've been very very bad with blogging since the beginning of November because of NaNoWriMo, so it's only now that I've got a chance to update about everything. With *pictures*! Like I promised...=P I've got heaps and loads of them for you!

The downside of this is... *sigh* as you probably can tell already, I gave up on NaNoWriMo. *sob* Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up on the story! Coz I'm really into it now, but the 50K words... =( I'm making a bargain with Lone though, forget the 50K words by end of November, extend my deadline... we'll work something out. Although it does feel like a cop out, but now I understand why one of the rules of NaNoWriMo is, no writing a story that you've been thinking about forever, because you'll baby it so much and think about it so much that you won't be able to let yourself go and just write nonsense.

Anyway, I'll continue with it, although I failed NaNoWriMo...*sob* it doesn't mean that I have to fail the story. *stick chest out* I will persevere! Again! LOL!

Ok....back to the pictures!

Went to Penang and Ipoh with Kelvin on a day trip on the 2nd this month, coz he wanted some company... Here's what I got out of it, and what you guys must get if you go to either place:

Tambun Biscuits is a must anytime you go to Penang, but this isn't the regular one that most people go to, but it tastes so much better! I stopped eating them because I didn't like the taste(the famous ones) but I loved this one! I forgotten to take down the address though...oops!

And from Ipoh, OMG, this you must try! Delicious salted chicken. The chicken's quite small though, compared to many here in KL, and the meat is tougher than the ones we have here, but that's why I like it. Kampung Chicken! Delicious and natural! Nutritious! Not artificially fattened up. =P And it's delicious! Really, really, delicious! Yummmm....


On the 4th, our division had a 'slumber party' at Ascott Hotel in KL. Our division manager booked us a 3-room suite, it was really fun! We had 'team-building' games. Well, it was just games and fun, and food! But it does build the team! Blek!

The interior of the rooms was like wow! I didn't take pix of them all, but these are from the master room:

Some of us were playing Cluedo....

Others were eating the yummy food... =D

The Illusions went jamming on the 11th; unfortunately our drummer Willie couldn't make it, but Eddy replaced him that day, and he was really good! Rose, our other vocalist, couldn't make it either, but Suzanne, who introduced Eddy to us, sang a few for us. =)

Andrew our vocalist:

Lone, our lead guitarist and band leader, who wanted to sing too:

Ah Guan, our bassist, so focused on his playing that his pick magnetically stuck to his forehead:

Suzanne, who sang for us when Andrew and I couldn't:

Eddy, the drummer, who helped us out coz Willie couldn't be there. Fantastic drummer, and also a vocalist for the band, Triple6Posers:

Kelvin and I weren't in any single pix...=( But he's the one second from the left, he's our rhythm guitarist, and I'm the one second from the right. =)

Hope you like the pix so far! I have lots more, but I think I'll do it another time, coz this post is going to be hell to load with too many pix! LOL! Anyway, I think I've taken like, OMG, 3 hours already! on this post! Just coz of the pix! Whoa...

See! I told ya this was a busy month socially! And I blame this for my NaNoWriMo failure! Blek!

K...until the next post then! Coming up are the pix from our Bukit Tinggi Division trip! See ya!

Just came across this in an email, searched it on google, and found the original article. Click here for the webpage.

Make of it what you will, but it concerns me. I'm glad something is being said, and of course I see the truth of Backman's article, but I wish that Malaysia will start to 'grow up' as Backman says, because however 'childish' Malaysia is, it's still my home, and I want the best for us.

Read the article below:

While Malaysia fiddles, its opportunities are running dry
Michael Backman
November 15, 2006

MALAYSIA'S been at it again, arguing about what proportion of the economy each of its two main races — the Malays and the Chinese — owns. It's an argument that's been running for 40 years. That wealth and race are not synonymous is important for national cohesion, but really it's time Malaysia grew up.

It's a tough world out there and there can be little sympathy for a country that prefers to argue about how to divide wealth rather than get on with the job of creating it.

The long-held aim is for 30 per cent of corporate equity to be in Malay hands, but the figure that the Government uses to justify handing over huge swathes of public companies to Malays but not to other races is absurd. It bases its figure on equity valued, not at market value, but at par value.

Many shares have a par value of say $1 but a market value of $12. And so the Government figure (18.9 per cent is the most recent figure) is a gross underestimate. Last month a paper by a researcher at a local think-tank came up with a figure of 45 per cent based on actual stock prices. All hell broke loose. The paper was withdrawn and the researcher resigned in protest. Part of the problem is that he is Chinese.

"Malaysia boleh!" is Malaysia's national catch cry. It translates to "Malaysia can!" and Malaysia certainly can. Few countries are as good at wasting money. It is richly endowed with natural resources and the national obsession seems to be to extract these, sell them off and then collectively spray the proceeds up against the wall.

This all happens in the context of Malaysia's grossly inflated sense of its place in the world.

Most Malaysians are convinced that the eyes of the world are on their country and that their leaders are world figures. This is thanks to Malaysia's tame media and the bravado of former prime minister Mahathir Mohamad. The truth is, few people on the streets of London or New York could point to Malaysia on a map much less name its prime minister or capital city.

As if to make this point, a recent episode of The Simpsons features a newsreader trying to announce that a tidal wave had hit some place called Kuala Lumpur. He couldn't pronounce the city's name and so made up one, as if no-one cared anyway. But the joke was on the script writers — Kuala Lumpur is inland.

Petronas, the national oil company is well run, particularly when compared to the disaster that passes for a national oil company in neighbouring Indonesia. But in some respects, this is Malaysia's problem. The very success of Petronas means that it is used to underwrite all manner of excess.

The KLCC development in central Kuala Lumpur is an example. It includes the Twin Towers, the tallest buildings in the world when they were built, which was their point.

It certainly wasn't that there was an office shortage in Kuala Lumpur — there wasn't.

Malaysians are very proud of these towers. Goodness knows why. They had little to do with them. The money for them came out of the ground and the engineering was contracted out to South Korean companies.

They don't even run the shopping centre that's beneath them. That's handled by Australia's Westfield.

Next year, a Malaysian astronaut will go into space aboard a Russian rocket — the first Malay in space. And the cost? $RM95 million ($A34.3 million), to be footed by Malaysian taxpayers. The Science and Technology Minister has said that a moon landing in 2020 is the next target, aboard a US flight. There's no indication of what the Americans will charge for this, assuming there's even a chance that they will consider it. But what is Malaysia getting by using the space programs of others as a taxi service? There are no obvious technical benefits, but no doubt Malaysians will be told once again, that they are "boleh". The trouble is, they're not. It's not their space program.

Back in July, the Government announced that it would spend $RM490 million on a sports complex near the London Olympics site so that Malaysian athletes can train there and "get used to cold weather".

But the summer Olympics are held in the summer.

So what is the complex's real purpose? The dozens of goodwill missions by ministers and bureaucrats to London to check on the centre's construction and then on the athletes while they train might provide a clue.

Bank bale outs, a formula one racing track, an entire new capital city — Petronas has paid for them all. It's been an orgy of nonsense that Malaysia can ill afford.

Why? Because Malaysia's oil will run out in about 19 years. As it is, Malaysia will become a net oil importer in 2011 — that's just five years away.

So it's in this context that the latest debate about race and wealth is so sad.

It is time to move on, time to prepare the economy for life after oil. But, like Nero fiddling while Rome burned, the Malaysian Government is more interested in stunts like sending a Malaysian into space when Malaysia's inadequate schools could have done with the cash, and arguing about wealth distribution using transparently ridiculous statistics.

That's not Malaysia "boleh", that's Malaysia "bodoh" (stupid).

Dearest You,

I want you to know just how much I appreciate you and all that you do for me. I want to tell you what you mean to me and how you brighten up my life.

You make me believe in dreams and fairy tales again, when the world had made me bitter and cynical.

You make me smile and laugh til my sides hurt, when my eyes were red from crying and my lips was always turned down into a frown.

You make me happy and carefree and alive, when I was so depressed and wanted to die.

You give me hope and faith, when I stopped believing and wanted to give up.

Not only that, dearest...

You remember things that are important to me, you take the time and the effort to remember the special things that I love, and you make sure I get them.

You remember little tiny details, that I don't even remember telling you about, and then you surprise me with them.

You appreciate every little thing that I do for you, and it makes me feel wonderful, because you noticed, and you appreciate me.

You appreciate even the tiny things that I didn't realize I did for you, but when you mention them, it makes me feel good because they matter to you, and I want to make you happy too.

You notice little things about me, if there's something different about my hair, or if I wore something you haven't seen before, or even if I wear a different shade of eyeshadow! And it makes me feel good, because you pay attention to me.

You listen patiently to my rantings and ravings and ideas and dreams, and you seem to understand me so well, you seem to know exactly just what to say to make me feel better, or to encourage me, or just not to say anything at all.

You share your rantings and ideas and dreams, and I feel happy because you trust me too, and you want to share your life with me.

You call me whenever you can, even if it's only for five minutes in your really busy day, because you really miss me, and you just want to hear my voice. I feel special because I'm special to you.

You come to see me whenever you can, even if it's only for a short while, even when your day is filled with appointments, and you're not coming anywhere near my place. You come anyway, just because you miss me and you want to see me. It makes me feel wanted and loved, because you want and love me.

You take an interest in all my interests, and you are passionate about them because you like to know more about the things which make me happy, simply because you want me to be happy always.

I can't count all the blessings I've found in you. I want you to know that all your love and efforts don't go unnoticed or unappreciated. I know how lucky I am to have you, and I know that there is no one else on earth who is as special as you are, no one else could replace you in my heart, no one could do what you do. You are the best.

At the risk of sounding cliche, you make me want to be a better person. You are an angel, but you are *my* angel, and I want to be your angel too.

You are the most giving, most generous, most loving person I have ever met, and I want to give you what you have given, and continue to give me.

You always strive to make me happy, it seems to be your mission. And I want to make it my mission to make you happy too.

You work so hard, to give me what I want, and I just want you to have everything you want too.

You delight in making me cry tears of joy, and try to make me cry happy tears any chance you get, you've done it so many times I forget to count. I want to make you cry happy tears too.

You give me the best of everything, taking second best, because you want me to have the best that you can give me. I want to be as unselfish as you, I want to take the second best so that you can have the best.

You sacrifice your time for me, giving up the things you want to do, so that you can do the things I want to do with me. I want to do the things you want to do with you too.

You give me everything, and ask for nothing in return. I take everything you give, very gratefully and very humbly, and I want to give you everything in return.

Dear, I am truly humbled by your goodness, your generosity, your pure unconditional love. And I am overwhelmed by the power of your love for me. I thank god everyday that I found you, I don't want to ask what I did to deserve you because dear, even if I didn't deserve you, I'm not letting anyone take you away from me. But I will work everyday, to be a better person, so that I can be worthy of you.

I love you.

One whole week without the internet!!!!

But I survived! And it's back on again! Yayyy!!!

Anyway, it was a good thing, coz I wrote quite a bit without the distractions of the internet. Unfortunately, now that it's back on... LOL! Can't win, can I?

Must discipline self!

I did write well the last couple of days after I came back from Bukit Tinggi. But I'm still far behind my word-count, and I'll have to average about 2500 words a day to hit my target of 50K words. I'm at about 15K right now, with only 12 more days to go for 35K. Think I can manage it?

This is a truly busy month, even though things at work are slow, but socially, it's really busy. Let's see... This Wednesday night The Illusions are going to Laundry to support the guy who plays drums for us. He's performing there, but as the vocalist. Who else wanna go? He's single, last I heard, girls. And I won't say he's cute, coz cute implies ugly but adorable, and he's anything but. He's really macho looking though, well-built, long hair, tattooed, very good on drums, *and* he sings! Go check him out! Laundry @ the Curve! This Wednesday night!

Unfortunately, I'm already happily attached, or else I'd go for him too. *drools* LOL! So you single girls are lucky this time coz I won't compete with you! ;P

And, this coming Saturday is Walton Idol, which I still haven't practise for. I want to win the first prize!! Money and a new handphone! I want it! I want it! I want it!

And Sunday night, there's a wedding I have to go to. And then Monday a pre-wedding dinner at Fei kokor's, and Tuesday his wedding dinner.

And then only two more days to go after that before November ends.

How, how, how am I going to write my 35K words?! I better stop blogging and start writing more!

Bukit Tinggi was great, btw! But all of you will just have to wait til after November for all the pictures in one go. =D

Tata!

I couldn't get to sleep tonight, I think I'm still a little bit hyper coz of tonight's jamming session. Which was great, btw! =D I'll post up pics later.

But anyway...I'm afraid it's partly coz I just got my monthly annoyance. Sighz. And I'm going to Bukit Tinggi tomorrow for the next three days with my colleagues for our division trip. What timing, huh.

So anyway, what I wanted to say originally was... I'm going to Bkt Tinggi for three days. On our division trip. With lots of activities. With my colleagues.

Which means, if you didn't already get it... no time for me to write!!!!!

And I'm already so far behind my word-count!! Dammit!

I don't care! I'm gonna do it! I won't be left behind! I will *not* lose RM500 to Lone! And I especially will NOT let Margaret cheat me out of the RM1000 bet which I did NOT make with her! So there! =P

I'll write crap if I have to. LOL! Which actually is the point of NaNoWriMo. Quantity counts for everything, quality nothing. So fine, I'll write crap! And lots of it! 50,000 words of it! And when NaNoWriMo is over, I'll edit it! And people will say that I was the first person in history who actually did turn crap into gold! (Readers of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series will get this. =D)

Seems like almost all my posts this month is related to NaNoWriMo huh? I'll be glad when it's over and I'll have a life back again. LOL! But not really either, coz I'm really enjoying it! =P

Anyway, I'm gonna try to go back to sleep now... Nitez!

Found this on Synical's blog, looks fun! =D

The rules:
Bold the statements that are true to you.
Italise the statements that you WISH are true.
Leave the Fibs alone.
Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe that honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse.
I have changed mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe , free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have a lot of friends.
I'm currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone. (Now that I'm home, I do)
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at a McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I somehow enjoyed this thingy !!!
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.

Tagging: YeeLeng, Zarina, Ariel, Denise, Minachie

I need a break! From NaNoWriMo I mean...

I've been writing everyday for the past ten days, and I'm still below my word count! Arrgggghhh!

Looking at it in a positive way, I'm slow and steady... Looking at it in a negative way... will I even finish my 50,000 words by the end of this month? In other words, will I lose my bet and lose RM500?! *wails* NooooOOOOO!!

No! I will not lose! I will persevere! Aja!! Ganbatte!! I can do it!

Ok...enough about NaNoWriMo for now! Like I said, I need a break! I'll write a million words tomorrow. Sighz...

Let's talk about other stuff...mundane stuff...boring stuff...

Hmm....it's been raining a lot lately, hasn't it?

.

.

.

LOL! How lame have I gotten that I need to talk about the weather? Blek!

Ok, seriously....I'm really psyched! Coz after *months* of not jamming, we're finally jamming again tomorrow!! Oh yayyyy!!!

Only thing is...I haven't practised at all... =(

I'd been coughing since the raya holidays, too much heaty food I guess... So I haven't actually had the chance to sing, unless you count the times I sing and break off halfway through the song to hack up like an old sickly grandmother. =(

But I'm still excited about jamming tomorrow!! =D

I can probably do the easy songs, which would be a start, at least I'd have started practising again. Because, in case I haven't mentioned, Walton Idol is on the 25th of this month. And I have to be in good shape to win it!

I won it last year, and got a trophy... but this year there are a lot more goodies, and a lot more competition! So I have to practise harder!

First prize is a Motorola V3i(which although not the latest model, I could still sell for good money), RM100 cash, and a RM50 voucher(for I-don't-know-what-yet)! And that's just for the first round! There are more goodies available on the final round!!!

Keep in mind this is just a small competition within our company, it's not like the prizes are gonna be like what Akademi Fantasia offers, but it's definitely not bad for an inter-company singing competition! =D

I'll have to practise harder!

I can't wait! =D

Apparently I have the time to take some personality quizes. =P

Betty took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Desires release from an unsatisfactory situation a..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

I'm really sorry for neglecting to blog for the last week. But as you can see, I've been busy with NaNoWriMo, and still behind on the word count.

I expected to post about my activities the last couple of days, but unfortunately, since those same activities were what made me slack in my writing, instead of being able to write about them, I had to use whatever free time I had left to catch up on my writing. Sighz...

This is harder than I thought it would be. But I'm still enjoying it, and it's such a thrill when you're doing this with the world! I hope I'll catch up soon, and when I do, maybe I'll take some time to post up some pictures here. In the meantime, please be patient and wish me luck! =D

I'm behind on my word-count in NaNoWriMo, but I'm not worried. I know I'll catch up soon. I'm totally enjoying the story and it's coming out really nicely.

I went to Penang yesterday with Kelvin. He had to go there to meet a client of his, and I just tagged along for fun. It's been ages since I took a road trip, and I needed to get out, although it was mostly spent in the car. But I had loads of fun chatting with Kelvin in the car.

More about the trip later, just dropping in a short note because I'm working on my novel now. I got sick from yesterday's trip so I'm relaxing at home. I'm not complaining. I'm happy to be able to work on my novel. =)

It's official, NaNoWriMo has begun!

Well, for me anyway, since it's not actually November yet in some parts of the world. But it has officially started for me, and I'm ready! =D

I'm so excited and nervous! Must win! Must win! MUST win!

But more about this later.

I went to Swensen's today with the gang, after a long hiatus from our usual Earthquake day. It was great seeing the guys again, I've missed them. Everyone is getting hitched and spending all their time with their significant others that they've no time for me anymore. =(

Btw, did I mention that Fei kokor is getting married? Sighz....everyone's getting hitched for life, and I'm so left out! I always thought I'd be one of the first to get married and now everyone's getting married before me.

It's really scary that I'm feeling the pressure to get married now, just after my 24th birthday. I thought most girls nowadays would only think about marriage at age 27 and above, but apparently I was wrong.

I mean, it's different for me because I have specific reasons for wanting to get married young, mostly to do with my own health and the health of my children. (My dad's a nutritionist, I've been brought up with a whole different set of outlook on health and healthy living, which is a looooong story, so don't be surprised at my decision til you understand health. =P) But there's also another part of me which would only want to get married after I've travelled the world and achieved world peace, settling down maybe in my 30s.

So why is everyone around me in such a hurry to get married? I thought it was just me. Is it just this particular group of friends? Because so far, they're all from the same group. All my other groups of friends are still happily single but unavailable. LOL!

Oh well...all the better for me I guess. When I do get married, (Which will be soon!!! Hopefully... Blek!) and have kids, all my friends be having kids too, then our children can play together happily.

I am such a desperado...

Sighz...*shakes head at self*

The Malaysian Bookcrossers were featured in the Star newspaper today in the Lifestyle section. Click here to read the entire article. You'll have to scroll down a little to see the part about M'sian BCers.

It's a terrible picture of me. =( And they kinda misrepresented me, because while I sort of did receive boxes of books from one bookcrosser overseas (Thank you so much, Eskielover), the article made it seem like it was just that one BCer who had so many books to send to me, when it was actually a whole bunch of really generous BCers who sent the books to Eskielover to send to me!

I'm really glad BC was featured in the Star, and I hope we get a lot of new members in BC after today's feature, but I hope that they don't join just because they want to get 'boxes of books' from BCers overseas. *frowns* I guess I'm a little ambivilent about the whole article. I'm glad that BC got some publicity, but I'm not sure the idea of BC came across well.

Bookcrossing was featured in the 'Swap it' section of the article, but that's not really the point of BC. The article did mention the concept was to leave books 'in the wild' but that it doesn't really work in Malaysia, which is disappointing, because if Bookcrossing doesn't work in Malaysia, then why join BC?

Why not just have a regular bookclub where member swap books with one another?

Personally, I seldom leave books in the wild, unless I go on vacation overseas or something, but the special thing about BC for me, is not just the swapping books(bookrings,bookrays,etc.), it is the community. A whole community of international booklovers where you learn so much about different people in different cultures who share a love for books! I love the *people* in BC, not the leaving books in the wild.

LOL! Which of course, isn't really the point of BC either. But for me, the people are actually the best part of BC. And an article focusing on Malaysian readers in a Malaysian community and Malaysian situations isn't really going to focus on the delightful diversity of the BC community, is it? =(

What do you guys think of the article?

I went to David Tao's concert last night. Can you believe it?! =D

Unfortunately, cameras weren't allowed, so no pix for you guys. Sorry.

It was all very last minute, I didn't even know that I was going to go until 4 hours before the show started. Coz Lone's friend had extra tickets, and I have no idea why, but they seemed to come in twos. First, Kelvin got two free tix, which were of course for himself, and he asked Lone to join him. Then, suddenly there were another two free tickets, which I could then claim for myself and whoever else. Then there was another two free tickets, which I then gave to Charmin and John.

Oh...did I forget to mention that they were free? *grin*

That's right, David Tao fans, I got to go for free! Muahahahahah!! And I didn't even like him or know who he was...

Oh, but I'm a fan now!

He's not like all those other boring, typical, Chinese singers. You know the ones I mean, good looks, sweet/sexy voice, ability to sing in tune, and that's about it.

The kind of singers I admire have *real talent*. They don't need good looks because their singing market them well enough. They have a good voice, power, control, emotion and musical sense. And David Tao has all these critieria, to various degrees of course.

That's why I'm his new fan. =D I like Coco Lee for the same reasons. They're not the typical, boring, good looking, sweet voiced, Chinese singers. And you know what they both have in common?

They were both brought up in some Western country, brought up on Western music. Which is waaaayyyy better than Chinese music. Seriously.

Flame me if you want, it doesn't stop what I said from being true.

Hong Kong singers are the worst! The only good songs that came out recently are copies of English songs, and they manage to spoil those perfectly good songs just by singing them. Their original songs are just copies in disguise, they all sound the same one way or another.

Taiwanese songs aren't so bad. At least they do have more than a tiny shred of talent, which is more than I can say for the Hongkies. There are actually quite a lot of good Chinese songs from Taiwan, but still not much variety or change to their music.

I'm not bias towards English music and against Asian, honestly. I love Korean and Jap music, and I'm a big fan of Thai music too! And some English songs can be really bad. *cough*London Bridge*cough* I used to love Chinese songs when I was little. The older songs by Sally Yeh, Beyond, Andy Hui, Leon Lai...etc, but I've since given up on listening to Chinese songs because they just keep getting worse and worse.

Granted, there are a few good ones, but I can't be bothered sifting through a hundred boring Chinese songs just to find the one good song.

So I end up missing them. =(

My sifu Lone has promised to expose me to more good Chinese songs though, =) I can hardly wait.

I love David Tao!!! =D

It's almost November! NaNoWriMo is starting soon...

*scared*

I'm so anticipating it right now. Excited, but nervous too. What if I don't make it? I made a bet with Lone. If I don't finish 50,000 words by the end of November, I'll have to give him RM500!

It's a big figure I know, but it's necessary, because there is no way, no way at all, that I won't make it. The RM500 will hurt if I really don't make it, but it won't hurt as much as my heart. I need to make it!

I will make it, I will make it, I will make it, I will make it....*chant*

'Ask and you shall receive.'
'The secret to getting what you want is living like you already have it.'

Ok, then. I've finished my 50,000 words! It's done! It's all there! =D

It's done!

Because I feel like it...

45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone
whats your name spelt backwards?:	htebazile
What did you do last night?:	read, watched a movie, sleep
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:	book cover images
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?:	no...
Last time you swam in a pool?:	ages ago...i can't even remember...i think in 2001?
What are you wearing?:	an old night dress
How many cars have you owned?:	two...
Type of music you dislike most?:	rap...but some are ok
Are you registered to vote?:	nope
Do you have cable?:	yeap
What kind of computer do you use?:	a dell laptop
Ever made a prank phone call?:	hhahahah...many. when i was much younger
You like anyone right now?:	i like a lot of people. =D
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?:	nope... but who knows?
Furthest place you ever traveled?:	hawaii
What's your favorite comic strip?:	rose is rose
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?:	umm....i think so
Shower, morning or night?:	night mostly
Best movie you've seen in the past month?:	the prestige!
Favorite pizza toppings?:	pineapple and pepperoni!
Chips or popcorn?:	both!
What cell phone provider do you have?:	maxis
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:	how?
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:	sort of, it was for miss sunway college or something like that...i forgot
Orange Juice or apple?:	orange pls
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?:	my mum
favorite chocolate bar?:	snickers
Who is your longest friend and how long?:	hahahhaha....longest? well...eng kok is pretty tall...i mean long. ahahhahaah
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?:	like...never?
Have you ever won a trophy?:	yeap, quite a few actually *proud*
Favorite arcade game?:	time crisis
Ever ordered from an infomercial?:	almost, but didn't
Sprite or 7-UP?:	sprite usually, but i like 7-up too
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?:	yeah, we all wear uniforms to school...
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?:	where?
Ever thrown up in public?:	not in public, but in a public toilet
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:	i prefer both...blek!
Do you believe in love at first sight?:	no...you have to walk past me again. double blek!
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?:	neither
Did you have long hair as a young kid?:	yeap...
What message is on your voicemail machine?:	none
Where would you like to go right now?:	narnia
Whats the name of your pet?:	baby
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?:	i dun have one, hence, nothing
What do you think about most?:	life in general, philosophy, spirituality...etc
Take this survey Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

I bought some belated birthday presents for myself today. =D I'm soooo happy! I got myself SIX new books!!

1. Following the Wrong God Home - Catherine Lim
2. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
3. Blink - Malcolm Gladwell
4. The World is Flat - Thomas L. Friedman
5. Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner
6. The Closers - Ben Gay III

I'm still in the middle of A Feast for Crows, but I made the mistake of going to Borders today, 'just for browsing'. Sighz...since when could I go into a bookstore and come out empty handed?

Note to self: Never ever *ever* go into a bookstore unless I have money to splurge! LOL!

On a whole other topic, I have found the secret to being happy! You wanna know what it is? =D

BE MORE DEMANDING!

Seriously!

About a month ago, my managers showed us a video entitled 'The Secret'. It's a really good show which I think everyone should watch, but the bottom line is: You always *always* get what you ask for.

The law of attraction says that, whatever you think of, will manifest. Whatever you wish for, will come true. Whatever you want, you'll have.

It's true! And don't you skeptics say it's not so simple as that! We believers always get what we want, because we believe in it, therefore we get what we want. Skeptics don't believe, therefore they manifest their disbelief and what they want is for the 'secret' not to come true for them, and hence, they too, get what they want!

But anyway, that's a debate for another time. If you want to know more about 'The Secret', click here.

In the meantime, let's get back on topic!

As I was saying, the secret to happiness, is to DEMAND for what you want! To be more specific; if you want to be happy in relationships, you have to be more demanding!

Now this topic isn't just coming out of nowhere, I'm sure many of you have been to at least one wedding this October. It's a crazy month for weddings, and I won't believe you if you say you don't know anyone who's gotten married this month. And of course, with all the wedding bells ringing our ears deaf, we obviously can't help thinking about our own forlorn love life, can we? =P

'I wonder if I'll ever find the one.'

'Oh, they look so happy. Will I be as happy with (insert name of significant other here)?'

'If only (significant other) loves me as much as he obviously loves her...'

And so on...

I have been criticized a lot, by men and women alike, for being so ultra demanding of my significant other. They say I demand too much, there's no such men out there, I should be more understanding, I'm too selfish, I expect too much from men...etc.

Just to give you a better understanding of my so-called 'unreasonable demands', let me give you 'a few' examples. Perhaps one or two isn't 'unreasonable', they're probably what every girl wants. But it's highly unreasonable to expect my man to have *everything* I want, isn't it? =P I would love my man to:

1. Put me first. I want to be his number one priority. Career is important, I don't deny that, but if I need him urgently, he will come to me without hesitating.
2. Be reliable. If he promises me something, whatever it is, he will deliver it. He will never leave me waiting or wondering where he is or what he's doing. If he can't deliver, no matter the reason, he will let me know so that I won't worry needlessly.
3. Be reasonable. I know it's impossible for couples not to have disagreements once in a while, but he will never hit me below the belt, and he will always discuss our problems logically and reasonably.
4. Never hurt me. Once in a while, I may get hurt although he didn't mean to hurt me, but he will always comfort me as soon as he sees my tears or my frown. And he will make me feel better within minutes.
5. Never leave me lost and alone. So many couples spend days not speaking to one another after an argument. My man will never do that, he sets things right with me as soon as anything happens, and I will never have to sit beside the phone, in tears, hoping that he will call, and wondering whether he's thinking of me.
6. Let me have my freedom. He won't sit down and sulk if I choose to go out with the girls and leave him alone once in a while. He'll have so much to do on his own, and he's perfectly capable to be without me for a few hours. We'll have such a secure relationship that he'll never worry about me being away from him, and I'll never worry about him being away from me.
7. Be sensible. He can have his fun, but he'll never drink too much, or let his friends influence him into doing things that he shouldn't be doing. He'll never go out too late if he has to work the next morning, he's driven, and focused, and he knows exactly what is right and what is wrong.
8. Be mature. He's a *man* and not a *boy* who still wants to play with his toys and won't do his homework. There's a time and place for everything. I have nothing against men who still play PS2, but in small doses please. My man won't spend the whole frigging day doing nothing but staring at the idiot box. Instead, he'll...
9. READ. He knows life is an endless journey of improvement, getting better and learning more. He reads because he knows that's one of the best habits to cultivate, he knows he'll learn priceless lessons, he knows he'll be exposed to more thoughts and ideas. And he knows I love reading too. =D
10. Take an interest in my interests. I've always been the kind of person who enjoys many things, and I try to learn about my man's interests too, so that I can share that part of his life. Because my man loves me so much and wants me to share my life with him, he takes up some of my interests too.
11. Be my driver. I don't like to drive, and I don't believe in gender equality. It's dangerous for girls out there, and my man worries about me. He doesn't want anything bad to happen to me, so he drives me whenever he can.
12. Treat me as the love of his life, not as a maid. He respects me. He doesn't expect me to pick up after him, he doesn't expect me to do all the housework, he shares responsibilities with me. He *appreciates* everything I do for him and doesn't see my efforts as me doing what a good gf should do.
13. Knows what I want, and gives it to me. He knows exactly what makes me happy, and he goes all out to do it for me. He knows when to hold me, he knows when to comfort me, he knows when I need him. He observes my reactions to food, books, whatever... and then he goes the extra mile to make sure I get them.
14. Surprise me. He gives me surprises when I least expect them. In fact, he gives me at least *three* surprises on my birthday. With the things I love, as mentioned above. =D
15. Wait for me. He waits months for me to decide if he's the one I want to be with. Why not? I waited years for him to appear. And the thought of looking elsewhere never even occurs to him, because he doesn't want just any girl. He wants me.
16. Make me feel special. I'm the one for him. The only one. Even if I didn't want him, he still waits patiently for me to realize that no one will love me as much as he does. He doesn't give up on me because he knows that he will never love anyone as much as he loves me.
17. Be confident. He knows that I will never find anyone better than him. He knows he's the one because he loves me and he will do anything to make me happy. He knows that I could search all over the world for a better guy and never find one better than him. He knows we are made for each other. He knows he is what I've been looking for.

And so much more. I'm serious. I have a lot more 'demands'!

And you know what, I do doubt myself sometimes. I wonder if maybe they're right, maybe I am too demanding, maybe I should lower my standards, maybe I'm waiting for a man that doesn't exist.

I've seen so many girls out there who compromise so much for their bfs. The men cheat, and they cry and cry and cry, but in the end, they forgive their men. And guess what, they cheat again.

The men treat them bad, and they take it. They allow their men to treat them like maids, to take advantage of them, to put them down, to treat them as a spare tire. Hello?! Grow some spines, girls! Men treat you bad because you allow them to! They become jerks because you are a spineless wimp! They don't respect you because you don't respect yourself!

I would *never* let a man degrade me like that! NEVER!

But still, I have to admit, my standards are still a whole damn lot higher than the average girl nowadays. Partly because no matter what people say, no matter how much people talk about gender equality, it will never happen. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't support gender equality, it's just that I face the truth which everyone tries to deny. We will never be equal.

Hence, I expect my man to be my driver. I expect him to pay for me when we go out. I expect him to contribute a higher percentage to our household income. I expect him to work harder in the corporate world... etc. I'm not saying I want to be a sit-at-home, 'goyang-kaki', mahjong-playing wife. I'm working equally as hard, but I'd be the one taking care of the kids most of the time, wouldn't I? I'd be cleaning the house, wouldn't I? I'd be cooking his meals, wouldn't I?

Like I said, no such thing as gender equality. I'm not complaining. I'm old-fashioned, and this is what I want. I want to be a *mother* to my kids, and a wife to my husband. None of those modern corporate woman boss ambitions for me.

Everyone else are welcome to their own wants and desires. These are mine. And they're not unreasonable. After so many tears and unhappiness with guys who weren't man enough for me... I finally realized that, the man I want, exists.

Yes! He exists! And he has everything that I listed above and more! =D

So...the moral of this long story is, *Ask, and you shall receive!* The universe will give you what you want.

My man is no Brad Pitt or Bill Gates, but he gives me so much love and happiness like you wouldn't believe! He makes me feel special, he knows what I want, he puts me first, he goes the extra mile for me, he takes interest in my interests, he respects me, he's always there for me, he surprises me..... HE LOVES ME AND HE MAKES ME HAPPY!

Yup, like he said, I could search the whole wide world, but I couldn't find a better man than him. This post is dedicated to him, for making me the luckiest girl on earth. =D

Went to 1U with Lone, Margaret, and Eng Kok for a dinner and a movie today.

Dinner was realllyyy filling, Paddington's Pancakes, kinda expected right? But delicious! Haven't had that in quite a bit.

The movie afterwards was *really* good!

The Prestige starring Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Scarlett Johanssen, Michael Caine, and even David Bowie!

I knew that guy looked familiar!

It was a *damn* good show! Obsession, magic, rivalry, suspense...!!

Actually, the only thing I knew about it before I stepped into the cinema, was that Scarlett Johanssen was acting in it. I didn't know anything else about it. But she was enough! Anything with her in it, I'm definitely watching! LOL! Weird huh? I should be saying it about the male actors.

Ahh, well...I always said bisexuality was a continuum, not a black and white thing. Give me a choice of sleeping with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, I'd take Brad Pitt. *drools* Give me a choice of Hugh Jackman and Scarlett Johanssen, I'd take Scarlett. *drools more* I am soooooo bi! LOL!

No seriously, the show, the show! It was great! It's about two magicians, who used to be friends, but because of an act gone wrong, became enemies instead. And then rivals. Each obsessed about the other, obsessed over who was the better magician. And each went through great lengths to top the other. No one ever wins in the end, when you play a dangerous game like that.

I wanna get the DVD!! Wanna watch it again!

But right now....I wanna sleep...*yawn*

Night, everybody!

*snores*

I'm happy, happy, happy!

There's nothing like a good dose of holidays in which I can spend the time doing whatever I want.

And I wanna read, read, read!! =D

I'm so happy!

I have my books, I have my writing, I have my music! What more do I need?!

*bliss*

I've been really tired lately and I'm really glad it's holidays this week. But in a way, it actually means more work for me. LOL! Coz this is the best time to get my writing done, and also my chores around the house. I'm still reading A Feast for Crows, and loving it, but I haven't got much time for many other things lately.

I'm so tired right now, and I just wanna go to sleep, but I have to force myself to keep on writing. Else I'll only keep postponing, which won't do at all. So I'll keep this post short and sweet, and get back to my writing now. Blek. =P

Before I go,

HAPPY DEEPAVALI & SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL!!

=D

Hey, loyal fans of mine, sorry for not blogging for so long! *giggles* I remember when 'not blogging for so long' meant that I haven't blogged in months. Now it's only been what, four days? And already my *ahem* fans are complaining!

LOL! Just joking! So far it's only been one person complaining. Hmm...I wonder if I don't blog for a couple more weeks, will my other fans start complaining too? ;P

Anyway, on a serious note, I've been reading a lot the last couple of days, both my birthday presents from Lone and some of my old writing books. And enjoying it a whole lot too! =D

Monday was a lazy day, coz I didn't sleep the whole night before that.
Tuesday and Wednesday I spent reading The Eyre Affair.
Wednesday night I would've posted up a review of the book, except that I had to prepare the contracts for my client the next day.
Yesterday was busy, busy, busy. Went to see my client in the morning and got stuck in the craziest jam. Traffic has been really unpredictable the last couple of days, coz of the upcoming festivals and holidays. So I finished at around noon, and had to go back to the office to notarize and submit the contracts. Had a meeting with my manager, and only finished at about 4 plus. Traffic on the way back was terrible too.

But I went to Mid Valley first, because I had a 'craving' for books. *big big smile* And let me tell you how happy I was that I went. I finally, finally, finally!! Found the book I had been waiting for, for three whole years!!

A Feast for Crows by George R R Martin!

I waited sooooo long, and finally the paperback is out! The first two years I waited for him to finish writing the book, it was finished last year, but was only out in hardcover and too expensive for me to get. Besides, a hardcover wouldn't match the other books I already had in the series. So I continued being patient for another year. I knew the paperback was coming out this year, I just thought it might be much later, maybe in November or December, but I found it yesterday and I am SO HAPPY!

I would've rushed back home and stuck my butt to the chair and started reading the book straightaway, except that I had to go for another round of futsal with my colleagues.

Yup, I played futsal again. =P

It wasn't as much fun this time around, because only 7 of us showed up, the rest were still stuck in the crazy-assed jam in KL, so they ended up not being able to make it. There were supposedly 15 of us coming, and only 7 showed up, and I was the only girl. It was sad. =( And damned exhausting!

I'm sure you know, less people means more running, and less guys to back me(the girl) up. So I was soon wheezing like a 70 year old climbing up a few flights of stairs, and no match at all for the other guys. Nope, not fun at all. =(

Well, nevermind, I got through the night thinking, I'd soon be home, and I'd be able to start reading A Feast for Crows! Yayy!!

I took a shower as soon as a got home, washed up, prepared myself for bed, and settled down and got comfy in my bed, all ready to read the book. And you'd never guess...

Five pages into the book, my eyes got too heavy to keep open any longer. And I fell asleep.

*grin*

Yup! Last night was the best sleep I had in ages! LOL!

As for the book, I'm now 82 pages in, and continuing again after I post this. =D Don't worry if I don't post for another few days, k. It's a 900+ paged book, and it'll take a while to digest, so I'm getting back to it now. Ta! =D

I finished reading The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde yesterday, and I was gonna blog about it but couldn't coz I had to prepare some contracts for my client today. So I thought I'd blog about it today, but... I went to MPH earlier today, and...

I FOUND GEORGE R R MARTIN'S A FEAST FOR CROWS IN PAPERBACK!

Finally! Yayyyy!! OMG! I am sooooo happy! I waited three whole years for the book ok! I finished book 3 long time ago, and I was waiting for him to finish this book, book 4 of the series, A Song of Ice and Fire. So he finished it about a year ago, finally! But still I didn't get the book, because it was only out in hardcover and it's too damn expensive for me.

I can be a patient person, so I decided to wait. Since I have other books to keep me distracted in the meantime, right? =D So I waited, and one year has gone by, and it's finally out in paperback!!

And of course I bought it! I practically grabbed it off the shelf! LOL!

So originally, I was going to say The Eyre Affair was the best book I've read this year, (Really, it's damn good! And I loved it!) but seeing as how I'm going to be reading A Feast for Crows I think The Eyre Affair will only be coming in second. =D

And also, I'll post my review of The Eyre Affair much much later! Probably when I've finished A Feast for Crows. =D I am sooo going to enjoy it! I deserve it! After being patient for so long!

It's 6.32am, and I'm still up. I shouldn't have drank so much tea last night, kept me wide awake the whole night. I probably won't be able to make it through the day at the office, so I'm just gonna call in sick and focus on my writings today.

I went through all my old stories and writing ideas just now, since I couldn't sleep. And I realize, I'm not the same writer I used to be. My thinking has changed a lot, the way I write, my imagination doesn't run wild the way it used to, I tend to think a lot more realistically about my ideas now(which isn't good, coz I miss out on creativity), I think I think too much. LOL!

But it was really great going through my papers, looking at what I've written previously and all the ideas I had... It inspires me again! I wanna go back to when I was a creative writer! =D I am seriously thinking of signing up for this year's NaNoWriMo but I'm a little afraid to. =P

But then again, if not now, then when?! It's actually really good timing for me. Alright, I'll do it! Wish me luck! And let me know if any of you decide to undertake this crazy project with me too, we can push each other!

Off to sign up now!

I got two new books for my birthday from Lone! Yayyy!! =D


The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde and Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel! Two books I've been wanting for a very long time! Thank you so much, Lone dearest! You're the best! Muah! =D

Here are the pix of my surprise birthday bash! =D

Me in my original outfit holding the gals' present

Dressed up in the gals' present! I love it! Thanks gals! =D

My girlfriends and me

My girlfriends and the guys with me

The Waltonians and me

The food! Which wasn't bad, but the portions were really small. =(

Cutting the cake! Which was delicious!

Happy Birthday to me!

A group picture of all of us! It was the bestest birthday ever! Thank you, guys! HuGz! =D

Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me!
Happy Birthday to me-ey!
Haaaaaappeeeee Biiiiiiiirthdayyyyyy tooo meeeeeeeeee!

I made it! I'm 24 today! Hoorayyyyyyyyyy!

My very mischievous friends devised a very mischievous plot to surprise me today, which would've worked, but people kept giving it away little by little without even knowing! LOL!

Pictures will be up later, but let me tell you how terribly humorous it was:

Firstly, I had completely no idea what the plan was for today, I had no idea who was coming, where we're going, what we're doing. Absolutely nada idea! I knew it was a surprise, so I kept a really open mind to every single possibility. I had no expectations at all.

Come to think of it, they should've given me something specific to expect, then I sure would've been surprised. LOL!

Secondly, dearest Sng messaged me online and told me sorry for not being able to see me on my birthday. I said, well, maybe I'd see him after dinner with my gfs. And he said, wasn't the guys coming along too. LOL! And he said he was supposed to go to but couldn't make it, that's why he said sorry. =P

Thirdly, Margaret herself gave something away. Coz all I did was ask her an innocent question, "Where are you guys now?" And she went, "Guys? What guys?" LOL! So obvious, right?

But in fact, I still would've been surprised! Because I thought the guys were going, but I didn't know my colleagues were too! Or I wouldn't have known, if we didn't bump into Remus on the way in. LOL!

The moment I saw him, I had my suspicions, but I wasn't sure coz he was alone, I thought maybe he was meeting some friends. But he got lost I think, and didn't know where the restaurant was, so he was following us. And like, duh! Why would he follow us if he wasn't part of the plan. LOL!

So although it wasn't a big shocking surprise, it was still a gradual one. And I totally enjoyed it! =D In fact, I think I enjoyed it more because it was gradual! =D

You know me, I like reading mysteries and watching CSI and etc... It was great fun trying to figure out what they had in store for me.

So here's my post-birthday party speech: (sort of)

Thank you loads, to Margaret and my brother! The key conspirators of this devious plot! I love you both!

Thank you to Melina, for the wonderful top! I know I'm gonna be wearing it a lot!

Thank you to all my girlfriends, Margaret, Charmin, Elaine, and Ee Won, for the beautiful dress! I love it, love it, love it!

Thank you to my schoolmate, Eng Kok, for being the only guy friend from school who came! =D

Thank you to all my colleagues, Anna, Bob, Ceaser, Chris, Raymond, Lai Mun, Lone, Remus, and Grace, for coming to the party. I enjoyed all your company!

Thank you to all the significant others, Melina, John, and Jeremy, for being there!

Thank you to my brother, Bob, Ceaser, Lone, Melina, Margaret, and Eng Kok, for continuing the fun with me at my place! It was great!

Thank you, all of you! For giving me a wonderful night to remember!

XOXO,
-=Betty=-

I got a new skin for my blog!! =D

What do y'all think? Nice? Brighter? Sweeter? Cooler? 'Chill'-er?

I like it! It's supposed to signify a new era, a new year, a fresh start... And also, you know, kinda like, have fun, take it easy, chill-out, relax. I know I've been easily frustrated and upset lately. So on my 24th birthday, I'm going to turn over a new leaf. Be happy. Start anew. Blah. Blah. Blah. You get the picture. =D

Well, happy birthday to me in advance! I'll write again later after I get back from whatever surprise thingy Margaret and the gals have planned out for me. Hope I'll still be in one piece! Margaret said she'd be my driver tonight. Uh oh... =P She's just joking, I hope! =D

You know it's funny. For the first time in my life, I'm not conscious of my birthday the way I used to be. I mean, I know it's coming, I know the day and date, but sometimes I forget. Even with a counter on my blog, I forget that it's just days away, or right now, just hours away.

I don't look forward to it the way I used to. Is it the birthday blues? I used to be so hopeful. I'm young, I have so much potential, I have my whole life ahead of me, yada yada yada. But now another year has passed me by and I'm wondering, what have I achieved that I can be proud of?

It's not like I totally don't have any achievements, I do of course, minor stuff, little things here and there. I did well on my assignments at school/college, I do well at work, I've won a couple of singing competitions, I've written some great short stories although I haven't publish anything.

But there's nothing I can be *really* proud of. Nothing that I can look back at on my dying day and say, "I achieved that. I did that." With pride and without regrets.

Another year older, another year I feel I'm wasting my life away not living my dreams. I've always thought I had my life planned out so well. I'm gonna do this practical thing now, then I'll do my dream later, then I'll do my other dream after that...

But now I realize, that's no such thing as later. It's now or never. I can't keep saying I'll do it tomorrow, because tomorrow never comes.

I'm at a loss. Because I'm too much of a realist now to give up everything for my dreams. I thought I've become stronger now, more practical, more realistic, less naive, less dreamy... but sometimes I wish I could have my childhood back. I wish I could be the same innocent, dreamy, hopeful, happy, Betty I used to be.

I feel cynical beyond my years.

You know what people say, about growing old being mandatory, but growing up being optional? I think I'm growing up too soon, too much, without even being able to grow old yet. And in fact, growing up makes me grow old. I can't count how many silver hair I have on my head now.

I want to live my dreams, but I'm so pressured to prove myself at work. Ironically, I know I can do a whole lot better at work than I already am, but because I feel this wistfulness in my heart, and more importantly, because I'm not happy at work coz I don't get along with my manager, I get down more often than not, when things go wrong at work.

I mean, we can't always have good days, right? But I get a lot of pressure and criticism from my manager when things don't go well, instead of encouragement and guidance. In fact, I don't get much of anything from him at all.

Some days it gets so bad that I just want to quit there and then. But I won't. Because I'm too practical. I could do a lot better at work if I was happy there, but I still do well enough depressed. Better than if I were to quit and find some other job.

So the question here is, do I give up my happiness for a well-paying job? Or get a not so well-paying job and be happy?

It's a dumb question, I would leave and be happy in a minute!

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. I love my job, I love my work, I love my colleagues. It's only my manager I have a problem with. If I were to leave, to a not so well-paying job, what makes me think I'd be happier there anyway? I mean, what are my qualifications? There's not many options open to me. I might not like my new job at all, I might not have great colleagues, I might have a worse manager! And with lousier pay.

Better the devil you know, right? And be grateful for the good stuff in your life, rather than focusing on the bad.

I know...I *have* been depressed lately. I'm trying my hardest not to be. I try to be as positive as I can, but it's not easy facing things on my own. I know I'm strong. I know I can handle anything, but seriously, why should I want to lift heavy weights for no reason? No matter how strong I am, I'd still prefer not to have to be.

Is it really birthday blues? Or is it more than that? I haven't been myself for a couple of months now.

I want to achieve something. On my own. And I want it to be something important to me. Not necessarily to everyone else, but to me.

Perhaps I'll give myself a really special birthday present. Make one of my wishes come true.

There! You see! There's still hope!